To the stupid jerk at the airport bar

[Smeghead]

@The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski

Looks like I picked the wrong week to pit ignorant strangers.

Quick - tell me everything that’s happened so far.

[kidneyfailure]

Who is going to provide the random jiggling tits to make this a true Airplane! thread?

[SkipMagic]

@The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski

Looks like I picked the wrong week to pit ignorant strangers.

The Other Jeffrey Lebowski, listen, and you listen close: posting a BBQ thread is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

[LurkMeister]

@Smeghead

@The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski

Looks like I picked the wrong week to pit ignorant strangers.

Quick - tell me everything that’s happened so far.

Well, let’s see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di’s clothes. I couldn’t believe it.

[Sunspace]

Psst–it’s speed bumps, not speed humps. Speed humps are what you get fifteen seconds after speed dating, if you’re lucky.

[pulykamell]

@Sunspace

Psst–it’s speed bumps, not speed humps. Speed humps are what you get fifteen seconds after speed dating, if you’re lucky.

Speed humps and speed bumps are two different, although related, things. (Unless this is also an Airplane! reference I’m missing.)

[Kythereia]

@kidneyfailure

Who is going to provide the random jiggling tits to make this a true Airplane! thread?

Oh, well, if you insist.

[Monty]

@woodstockbirdybird

I can’t make heads or tails out of the OP. Does anybody here speak jive?

Here you go!

To de stupid jerk at da damn airpo’t bar

I’m at LAX, early fo’ mah’ red eye, so’s I grab some bea’ near mah’ gate. De unfo’tunate doodad fo’ me wuz dat ah’ wuz two seats away fum Mr loudmoud, who’s goin’ on and on about how politics hav lost deir deco’um, dat when Kingfish and Tip O’Neill wuz in deir seats uh power, dey had mutual respect, and dat, well, doodads wuz plum betta’ den. ‘S coo’, bro. Do ya’ know when it all went baaaad, he ax’s, quite audibly, when politics wuzn’t respectful? He says dat it wuz Clintons use uh de phrase, it’s de economy, stupid. Hmmm. WORD! Maybe ah’ should’ve simply igno’ed him, but ah’ couldn’t resist. Man! ah’ interjected dat da damn phrase wuz self referencin’, dat he wuz remindin’ himself whut t’focus on durin’ de campaign. ‘S coo’, bro. Well he couldn’t recon’ dat some sucka would doubt him, and dat ah’ wuz de fust sucka’ dat came down wid dat deo’y t’him in de nearly 20 years since da damn phrase became part uh de culture. I also pointed out dat da damn Willy Ho’ton ad mightve been plum a bit mo’e disrespectful uh a gesture. Of course he dun didn’t rememba’ de ad. Yeah right. Man! Jerk. Ya’ know?

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Sunspace

Psst–it’s speed bumps, not speed humps. Speed humps are what you get fifteen seconds after speed dating, if you’re lucky.

I will go take a picture of the street sign that inspired my title and post it here if you like.

[Count_Blucher]

There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy reading the rest of the OP. By the way, is there anyone on the board who knows how to re-rail a thread?

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

@The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski

Looks like I picked the wrong week to pit ignorant strangers.

He was eight years old, dude.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Count_Blucher

There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy reading the rest of the OP. By the way, is there anyone on the board who knows how to re-rail a thread?

I’m going to have to go with, “No.”

[NDP]

I just want to tell you good luck. We’re all counting on you.

[Miller]

@Cat_Whisperer

@Count_Blucher

There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy reading the rest of the OP. By the way, is there anyone on the board who knows how to re-rail a thread?

I’m going to have to go with, “No.”

Well, that’s just great. Looks like the shit’s about to hit the fan.

<splat>

[KinkiNipponTourist]

excuse me, which way is the rest room?

[Uncle_Brother_Walker]

To say that this thread has become derailed would suggest that it’s off course.

…

“Two more minutes? They could be miles off course.”

"That’s impossible. They’re on instruments.

[evilbeth]

I haven’t felt this awful since we saw that Ronald Reagan film.

[Count_Blucher]

No dice, Chicago. I’m giving the orders and we’re coming in. I guess the foot’s on the other hand now, isn’t it Kramer?

[KinkiNipponTourist]

Goodness gracious great balls of HEEEEEEEEY LAAAAAAAADDDYYYY!

[Clothahump]

You say you met him in a bar? Did he appear to have a drinking problem? How long has he had it?