Ok, I paid my money, so start entertaining me!

I just forked over my $5.00 bucks, so I want to get my money’s worth.

Quick, somebody say something entertaining or interesting or funny!

As you wish: http://www.rathergood.com/chicken/

Erm, why is s in the Pit?

This might turn into a joke thread, and then we’ll all be in big trouble.

How about:

“A fool and his money is soon parted?”

:smiley:

Entertaining: Let’s set up a pool on whether this thread gets:

  1. Moved to MPSIMS, where it belongs.
  2. Locked by Lynn because the hamsters don’t want to move it and it looks like a joke thread.
  3. Hijacked to Opal’s site.

Interesting: The Grammar Pedant is IN, and wishes to point out that the OP should say either “$5.00” or “five bucks”, and that “$5.00 bucks” belongs in the Department of Redundancy Department.

Funny: How many Dopers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: One to hold it, and a Pitful to argue about whether to turn it left or right.

Ummm…

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

“I didn’t say she was crazy,” Micky told the Judge. “I said she was fucking Goofy.”

“No, I’m a frayed knot!”

Take my wife… please!

I do not wish to buy this tobacconist. It is scratched.

I thought you were bringing my wife back!

The “horticulture” line reminded me of the wonderful acerbity of Dorothy Parker. Parker once encountered Clare Boothe Luce entering a theater. “Age before beauty,” Luce declared, stepping aside. “Pearls before swine,” replied Parker, gliding through.

Mein hovercraft is full of eels.

Ahhhr, it drives me nuts.

Don’t you see…? I stepped on the ball!

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” :smiley:

No?

Umm…
Begins to hum and tap-dance fervently

That is because the quote is from Dorothy Parker :slight_smile:

Club 33, I’m not sure if you’re agreeing with me, or informing me that the quote was by Parker, but just in case, I do know it was by Parker. That’s why it reminded me of the “pearls before swine” crack. :slight_smile:

Und vun ov dem vas assalted…peanut.

South Park+ Song of the South= Shut Your F*cking Face, Uncle Remus.

This is stolen from somewhere else, just wanted to see if “Charter Member” showed up under my name:)