I just forked over my $5.00 bucks, so I want to get my money’s worth.
Quick, somebody say something entertaining or interesting or funny!
This might turn into a joke thread, and then we’ll all be in big trouble.
How about:
“A fool and his money is soon parted?”
Entertaining: Let’s set up a pool on whether this thread gets:
- Moved to MPSIMS, where it belongs.
- Locked by Lynn because the hamsters don’t want to move it and it looks like a joke thread.
- Hijacked to Opal’s site.
Interesting: The Grammar Pedant is IN, and wishes to point out that the OP should say either “$5.00” or “five bucks”, and that “$5.00 bucks” belongs in the Department of Redundancy Department.
Funny: How many Dopers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Answer: One to hold it, and a Pitful to argue about whether to turn it left or right.
Ummm…
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
“I didn’t say she was crazy,” Micky told the Judge. “I said she was fucking Goofy.”
“No, I’m a frayed knot!”
Take my wife… please!
I do not wish to buy this tobacconist. It is scratched.
I thought you were bringing my wife back!
The “horticulture” line reminded me of the wonderful acerbity of Dorothy Parker. Parker once encountered Clare Boothe Luce entering a theater. “Age before beauty,” Luce declared, stepping aside. “Pearls before swine,” replied Parker, gliding through.
Mein hovercraft is full of eels.
Ahhhr, it drives me nuts.
Don’t you see…? I stepped on the ball!
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”
No?
Umm…
Begins to hum and tap-dance fervently
That is because the quote is from Dorothy Parker 
Club 33, I’m not sure if you’re agreeing with me, or informing me that the quote was by Parker, but just in case, I do know it was by Parker. That’s why it reminded me of the “pearls before swine” crack.
Und vun ov dem vas assalted…peanut.
South Park+ Song of the South= Shut Your F*cking Face, Uncle Remus.
This is stolen from somewhere else, just wanted to see if “Charter Member” showed up under my name:)