Hey. I went there, too.
Small world.
Wow. I had to read the title four times before I realized the rant wasn’t about MORMONS. Ay yi yi.
At my lunch table a few months ago, these guys had a coin-swallowing contest. We had to physically wrestle with one guy to prevent him from swallowing a quarter.
I prefer my “moron” chorus to be to the tune of “Ride of the Valkyries”…Kill the morons, kill the morons, kill the morons, kill them all!
Airdisc, I am guessing you are not allowed out for lunch?? Damn!!!
Ugh, high school was horrid. I never had the experiences you have had, but I just never felt safe there. I always resented being thrown together with all of those…ICKY PEOPLE. I can still remember a girl in my homeroom asking me why I wore black all the time. Because I find pink sweaters like the one you’re wearing, to be extremely offensive that’s why!!! I hung out with artsy types. We wore black and listened to Bauhaus and The Smiths and felt superior.
Could you not somehow get one more person to be in your group? Maybe a large, menacing type who is somehow not a moron?? Hmm, that might be tough…but listen. I think you have an incredible intellect. You should be writing!! Trust me, when you’re out of high school everything will come together and you’ll be rich and famous. The stoners will be still be nowhere.
I am comforted by the fact that pot smoking lowers your sperm count. (Am I right about this??) Hopefully these jokers will not be able to breed and create more mindless savages.
airdisc -
The last time some moron pointed a laser pointer at me I ignored it until I could saunter over and say, “cool toy… can I see it?”
I then walked to the door and proceeded to throw the fucking thing out the door into the snowdrifts where it was never seen again.
Mind you… I have huge balls.
Your mileage may vary.
I just have to say: what a cute and affectionate way of phrasing this. I like it.
Update: Yes, I know this is unimportant, but I’m frustrated. So Ben and I found new seats next to Jennifer. Unfortunately, we had to displace some others to do it. Not that we ever saw them sitting where we were currently sitting, but apparently these were their seats. We didn’t know. So they go over to the stoners. So the stoner who kissed the 11-year-old girl confronts me and tells me that Ben and I have to move. Why? Because the people we displaced aren’t stoners. Yes, it’s that dumb. So Ben and I go there today, only to find that the people we displaced have taken their seats back. So Ben and I move once again.
In Harmless commercials, it shows stoners shooting each other. Why can’t these morons do something similar?
I just thought I needed to pop in and say: hey, not all stoners are uncool assholes. I can’t say with any authority whether most are, or only a few. I blame rap, really. Stoners used to just listen to the Dead, Pink Floyd, Zeppelin, and some modern-day stoner rock like Queens of the Stone Age. But now you get pasty white fools cussing about bitches, bling and chronic, and it drags the rest of them down.
Kissing an 11-year old girl on the lips? Isn’t that like a federal offense? Jeeeeeeez.
People didn’t act that stupid in my high school cafeteria, they did in 8th grade though. You should try to find a teacher that will let you 3 hang out in thier room for lunch.
When I saw that, I thought I knew for sure that you went to my high school. But evidentally, there are more than one entity who think “cafetorium” is a word. ::sigh::
Um, I tend to think “cafetorium” is a word. From Dictionary.com:
cafetorium, n. A large room, usually in an educational institution, that serves both as a cafeteria and as an auditorium.
Ah, high school. Glad I never had to go through that–small high school, and I was friends with some extraordinarily big, muscley people. Didn’ t have to put up with much bullying…
Could be worse:
“All purpose Room”
Does your high school have zero tolerance? Make those stupid laws work for you! anonimous notes about vage threats work wonders!
Another update: The kid who kissed an 11 year old girl just got expelled for throwing a table at another kid. So things worked out by themselves. Funny how that works.
I hope he didn’t break the table, otherwise you’re really screwed.