Are you maybe getting the two Quasis mixed up? There’s Quasimodal and Quasimodem.
[double post.]
It’s a case of “Be yourself! But before that, change everything about you that makes you yourself. Then, be yourself.”
Being myself doesn’t work, but I can’t see why not being myself is a good idea at all.
I don’t really mind anymore. I’m just one of those people who doesn’t quite fit in the world as well as others manage to.
:eek::smack:
Don’t feel bad, I used to do that a lot and still have to remind myself which is which.
Good mnemonic: The one with Alzheimer’s is so old he still uses a dial-up modem.
P.S. I have no idea if that’ true or not, just that it might work for you.
I agree - you don’t go from thinking, “I’m a loser and I can’t do anything” to, “I’m the greatest guy in the world and I can do everything!” - you go to, “I’m just a regular guy - I’m going to try to do something.” Positive self-talk is very powerful, but it has to be believable, or, surprise surprise, you won’t believe it.
You have plenty of advice from people, and you’re still working through some sh*t. I can only add the following Photographer’s saw:
“You miss every shot you don’t take.”
Put that away for when you’re ready. Get therapy. Get medicated. There’s a way out.
My advice is to get to know all sorts of people, regardless of age, gender, education, attractiveness and so forth.
Some you will want to know better, and they will want to know you better. And as you get to know them better, the women will become more attractive…and so will you to them. Then expect to see warmth and affection appear more strongly…again, in both directions.
Down after your basketball career? You had a pretty good one, too.
Have you tried cognitive therapy? If you haven’t read Feeling Good by David D. Burns, I’ll buy you a copy.
If you’re buying random people books, can I give you a list?
Are you suicidal and in need of help?
Which means, on average, three divorces.
My uncle (great-uncle, actually) for one. When he was a kid in the Great Depression (or possibly the 1920s, can’t remember) he had a crush on this girl at his school (one o dem one-room prairie schoolhouses), but she shot him down. He was kind of sad about that, still remembered her, but moved on with his life and I’ve always known him as one of the coolest relatives I had. He enjoyed his work, didn’t complain about anything, and was a lot of fun to be around.
Then, when he was in his late 70s or so, he ran into her somewhere (funeral of a mutual friend, maybe? I’m sure that funerals are the hookup joints for senior citizens 
) and they got to talking. Turned out she was recently divorced or widowed and they finally started dating, 50 years later. They got married when he was 83 and he died at 87, a very happy man.
Same here (from someone who was also dateless at 22). Be someone who people want to be around, guys and girls. Talk to some of your friends and find out what makes them happy, what gives their lives purpose. And if you say “I don’t have any friends” (which I can already hear you saying), I call your bs. We are your friends. Only friends would chime in and give advice the way the SDMB have in this thread. Only friends would care enough about you to tell you to seek help when you’re expressing thoughts like that like the SDMB has. Aside from your poor self-image of yourself, I don’t see much separating you from the average Doper, so take a look at some other Dopers’ musings on how they got their SO. I’d be more than happy to share my story with you as well (long story short: mutual friend, assisted by my sister, got me together with her friend (my future wife) because she (friend) knew that I was a nice guy who cared about others - and really, that’s all women want. If they are too into themselves then they’re worth nobody’s time.)
Oh, and really don’t get hung up over how beautiful the women you desire are/aren’t, the only thing that matters for is bragging rights, and that’s no reason to get a date. Look around you at some more “average-looking” girls. They may be as sad as you thinking that no one will go out with them because of how they look. It’s not how you or they look that’s important, it’s what kind of person you are, and what kind of person you can be to them. Talk to a girl that may be sad because she isn’t “gorgeous”, you’ll turn two lives around, yours and hers.
Mookie, I’ll share with you something I teach in my Taekwondo classes. It’s the most powerful word in the English language and it’s only three letters long.
Far too often, we set ourselves up for failure. We tell ourselves that we won’t succeed and then we are not disappointed when we don’t succeed. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, although I like to call it a self-destructive prophecy. So I suggest that you start using the most powerful word. It will change your life. Yes, it will take effort. It won’t happen overnight. You will stumble and fall, so to speak, several times, but the trick is to get up and keep moving toward your goal.
Your issue is: I want to date the pretty girl. You tell yourself: I can’t do that. You’re right, as long as you continue to say that. Try saying this instead:
I can’t do that - yet.
Now it is no longer a statement of failure. It may be a statement of fact: yes, right at this moment, I can’t date the pretty girl. But I want to, so what do I need to do to get the date? Maybe a change in physical appearance, maybe finding out something that she likes and approaching her in that venue, etc., etc. But then you make the effort - you grit your teeth, square your shoulders…and go say hi. Get to know her, then ask her out. If she says no, there it is. You go find another pretty girl and do the same. Eventually one will say yes.
Think of Thomas Edison. His famous quote about developing a functional, working light bulb is so true:
Try adding that word “yet” to your life. It will change it for the better.
So, Mookie, are you actually interested in feeling better, or are you more interested in wallowing? The things we’re telling you work, take a stranger’s word for it, but you’re the only one who can decide to make some effort to feel better. I work with a volunteer group for sufferers of anxiety and depression, and much as I wish I could make them help themselves, I just can’t - you have to decide for yourself that you’re going to trust that so many people saying the same things might not all be full of shit. 
Mookie- I’d love to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you, and you are perfect- but we both know that’s not true- but you are not completely broken either. In fact, you are on your way to getting better.
You have admitted you have some problems that need worked out, you are in therapy to get some help, you are coming to a place on the dope that is full of smart people with a lot of experience that are willing to help, and you have a freaking cool user name.
I was at your point before, it’s not much fun, and you generally don’t want any pep talks anyway, because you don’t trust them.
I don’t know if you have considered this before, but you may not be the best person to pass judgment on yourself. The people that have surrounded you for a long time may not be the best people to listen to either- where have they gotten you?
I guess what I am trying to say is that I didn’t get better until I decided that I just don’t know that much. I don’t know that much about myself, what other people think, or life in general, and I was letting my shitty perception of myself get in the way of all of that. So I let go of all of the crap that made me feel like crap- my own doubts and fears, the people around me that make me feel like crap, etc. Non of that crap was worth me being unhappy about. Instead I decided to say F&*k it, and do what made me happy, world be damned.
Of course YMMV, but what do you have to lose, aside from your unhappiness?
All I can say is, I’ve seen plenty of losers with beautiful women. Hope this helps.