I am just wondering if a woman posting this:
Today I saw a man so rich that he made me sad
Because I knew a guy that wealthy would never want anything to do with a loser like me.
would have gotten the same response from Dopers.
Mookie, you know former Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich, don’t you? He’s not the most handsome guy around. But he has probably the most beautiful wife on Capitol Hill in Washington.
When she walks into a room, all eyes are on her. She is a knock out! This is a little YouTube video of Dennis and Elizabeth together. Scroll down to the third photo. I’ve seen this video about six times and I have no idea yet what he has said. All I can do is watch her and how proud and happy she looks just standing behind his shoulder.
You have to do two things. You have to learn to find what is valuable in yourself. You can’t expect someone else to love you if you think that you are worthless. You may need counseling to be able to see clearly. (That doesn’t mean you are crazy.)
You have to learn to trust women to see that value for themselves.
The twenties can be a really difficult time. You have to work at putting the basic adult you together. Start forming some good habits that you will want to carry with you through life. Begin to think about what your moral code is – what you stand for – what you believe in.
Some guys seem to have it all put together at 22. Maybe so. Most have to work at becoming themselves. If you get a chance, travel some. Go to Europe either on your own or with a friend. Or just drive cross country. Get out of your old skin and into the new. Have some adventures. You know what I mean. Don’t worry about the girls for a while. Believe me, they are wondering where you are.
Pssh.
I appreciate all your advice, but the fact is, nearly everyone I told this to in real life said some sort of variant of “probably.”
And since they know me much better, there’s really no debate on who I should trust.
Sounds like you hang around with a bunch of people who are:
A) realizing that you are so self-defeating with your attitude, that you don’t have a shot
or
B) don’t really have a clue.
Like I said before- get away from the people and things that make you unhappy. If you WANT to be happy, then be happy, and to hell with anyone that is going to continually bring you down, they are not worth your time.
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” - Stewie Griffin
Well, I’m done.
That is exactly what I am doing. Hence why I’m so alone, since no one wants such a huge loser around.
That’s a self-fulfilling prophesy, dude.
Dude, I think you take yourself too seriously and are too self-centered. I’ve noticed this trend in many I people who I know that are depressed, including my ex-wife. Whether the you exist or not has no impact on the universe. And that’s the case for all of us. So learn to laugh at yourself and others. Just try to enjoy your life while you’re alive. At some point, it’s all going to end anyway so just make the most of it. Learn to not care so much about how you’re feeling and your perception of yourself or anyone else’s perception of you. In a universal sense, you simply don’t matter. And for the record, I don’t either.
I have no idea if this is good advice. But whenever I feel down and worthless, this is how I think about life and then everything seems to get better.
Jesus, get over yourself already. You aren’t that special. You have problems. You know who else has problems? Every other person on this planet. If you’re depressed it’s 2009. There are meds and CBT for that. If you don’t want those options then don’t do them, but don’t pretend they don’t exist.
In your own way you’re just as silly and self centered as a guy who thinks “I’m a human supernova, all the women want my love cobra, and all the haters just are jealous.”
Also, maybe post on this obard about something other than yourself. Again, get the fuck over yourself.
A lot of people here have opened up to you, sharing their own experiences, encouraging you and offering you sound advice. All of which you have discounted with, I don’t take this advice or that 'cause I’m such a loser! None of that will work for me because I’m the biggest loser ever, sort of attitude.
You don’t want advice or encouragement you just want to wallow in self pity it seems.
“It’s hip to be miserable when you’re young and intellectual.” Can’t recall what song it’s from but ain’t it the truth?
Self absorption is all about your ego. And it is exactly the same as the ego driven little snots who think their shit doesn’t smell. Same coin, different side.
You’re coming off here no better than a teenager who all about his daddy’s money, or his fast car, or his football stats.
Get your head out of your ass! One day you’re going to have real problems to deal with, not just a self pityfest over some girl you ache for, but are too much of a loser to approach.
Well, I think those last few posts prove to myself and you all that I’m really worthless and beyond hope. I’m out.
Do you work for spammers that peddle penile enhancement? “Love cobra” sounds like a euphimism that they’d use. I’ve seen all kinds of other names for my penis in my spambox but love cobra is new.
No, mookie —they’re saying just the opposite.
As my mother says, she can’t imagine anyone who hasn’t thought about suicide–none of us gets out without pain. I could see myself in you in the other thread where you couldn’t think of a single thing you like about yourself.
I was you for quite a while and even though I still don’t think highly of myself, I’ve gotten meds and help and live a relatively contented life. Yes, I could dwell on that fact that no one has ever fallen in love with me, but I resist the idea that that means I am essentially unlovable. I could dwell on all the things I am “supposed” to do to live a “successful” life, but I try to dwell on what I like about the life I do have.
When I think about it, it’s remarkable I’ve gotten this far. And you can too.
Why are you ignoring the other posts that say exactly the opposite, that you aren’t worthless and aren’t beyond hope because we’ve been in your shoes? Don’t write us off because we’re on a message board. There is a sentient being behind all the posts in this thread and on this message board as a whole; the mods and administrators make sure we get rid of bots pretty quickly.
As my therapist sometimes says to me, you seem have a negativity bias–you give a large amount of weight to negative things in your life and little to no weight on the positive things. Once you get your head around that, you can better assess life’s challenges.
I hope that even though you said “I’m out” you will eventually read the new posts.
“Love Cobra” is going to be the name of my 80’s hairband tribute group.
Given the thread’s theme of a somewhat depressed loner, I suggest “Love Sydney” would be a better choice.
I know you’re in a dark place right now, but there’s nothing in your history to suggest there is no hope from your happiness. I was once hospitalized for depression and eventually had to go on medical leave from college as well. I started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and I got better. I returned to school and kicked ass, now I’m a very high functioning grad student. I wouldn’t have believed that I would ever get my life back, I was in such a dark place. I’m not suggesting it’s easy, but it’s completely possible, in fact, it’s probable, statistically, that you will eventually get better. I know you’re thinking, ‘‘Oh, she probably wasn’t as depressed as me,’’ dude, trust me, the first 23 years of my life were absolute hell, and I was barely functional for several years. I felt like I’d tried everything. It was BAD. But I got BETTER, and now I’m so glad I survived. You can survive too.
Maybe they’re right. But so what? Most men will never date an incredibly beautiful woman. There just aren’t that many incredibly beautiful women out there. There are literally billions of men on this planet who will never have a chance with the woman you saw. So why get upset about it? Is your only goal in life to date an incredibly beautiful woman? If so, time to get some better goals.
Well, I don’t think anyone who likes Pearl Jam could be all bad. But I would advise you to get your therapy from your therapist. Several people here have tried their best, but there’s not a lot that strangers on the Internet can do to help you…especially not if you’re determined to feel bad about yourself.
You might want to print this thread and bring it with you to your next appointment. Then you could talk about it with your therapist and discuss what people have said to you here and how you feel about it.