Well, I suppose someone has to be the ubiquitous parrot.
(earplugs and newspaper for the shoulder not included)
RAWWWWWK!! (whistle) Pieces of eight!! Pieces of eight!!! (whistle) RAWWWWWK!!!
I am Murray, the invicible demonic skull. Quake in fear mortal! For you insolence I shall now devour you! Could you…er…Could you pick me up, so I can bite you?
Hark, mateys! Let’s board ‘er and take all the treasure! Arrr! Shiver me timbers! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Walk the plank and end up in Davy Jones’ Locker!
You’ve all heard about the new pirate movie, right?
It’s rated AAAAARRRRRRR!!!
Lux Fiat I think I love you.
To second Eve:
“Tis better far to fly and die
under the brave black flag I fly
than play a sanctimonious part
with pirate head and a pirate heart
Away to the cheating world go you
where pirates all are well-to-do
But I’ll stay true to the song I sing
and live and die a Pirate King”
or queen as the case may be.
What are a pirate’s two favorite letters?
AAARGH! and X marks the spot!
All first-born males must walk the plank!
- Pontius Pirate
Sorry, but when I saw Pontius Pirate, I snapped out of “arrrr, I’m a pirate mode” and started singing “Fa ra ra ra ra” as in A Christmas Story.
Shiver me timbers and carry ye on.
[singing]
I want to sing and dance, I want to sing and dance
I want to be a pirate in the Pirates of Penzance
with the silver buckled slippers and those tight, shiny pants
I want to sing and dance
[/singing]
Arrrrr… shiver lad…
Pieces of eight!
Braaaaaaaak. Polly want a cracker.
AAARRRrrr! You have a woman’s plank, my lord! I’ll wager that plank has never been ripped from a ship by a typhoon and used as a lifeboat by eighteen hungry men and a cat!
Thank you Celtic Cowboy. I’ve been trying to think of the third line of that song for 2 days.
I mean: ARRRGHH! I been tryin ta drag the third line o that there scurvy song outer me brainpan fer 2 day noww. ARRRGHHH!
[sub]or something like that[/sub]
Feeling a bit of remorse the day after…what have you evil folk roped me into?
Now for the pirates’ lair! Oh, joy unbounded!
Oh, sweet relief! Oh, rapture unexampled!
At last I may atone, in some slight measure,
For the repeated acts of theft and pillage
Which, at a sense of duty’s stern dictation,
I, circumstance’s victim, have been guilty!
You forgot the rest of it!
Truce to navigation,
Take another station!
Let’s vary piracee
With a little burglaree!
(Though not, of course, in the Trial by Jury sense…)
Now I’m going to have this stuck in my head all day. Thanks ever so much. 
Arrrr! Avast! There be a Seven of Eleven off the port bow! Prepare to board 'er and secure the Cheezy Poofs! Arrrr!
Let loose the dogs of war! (Even though the poor buggers can’t swim so well!) Arrr!
So… I’m at Black Tom’s Olde House o’ Puffy Shirts, just browsing, you know, and I found a really nice one, not too frilly, reinforced in the shoulders to avoid parrot scratches – anyway, there’s this saucy wench checking me out, saying “yes, yes, that’s the one for you, honey, I just love a man with an extra wooden leg…”
“Is there an ‘X’ on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there’s wond’rous booty buried underneath!”