“Ah, I finally understand what the smallest part of a tree is,” Tom twigged.
“Augghh! It hurts to pee!” Tom pissed and moaned.
“The prince had his way with me” said the chambermaid, royally screwed.
“I wonder how much cheese that Malaysian plane was carrying,” said Tom, while searching for debris.
“You’ve got a hole in your head” said Tom…but that was beside the point.
“I see!” said Tom, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
“Don’t tell me you want to watch that Japanese porno film again!” Tom rebuked.
“Yesh, I shertainly do wanna see dat”, replied Tom, pixilated.
“William Bendix was my favorite TV actor” Tom said wryly.
“I doubt that Ms. Tyler understands the true nature of her unconscious” Tom said lividly.
“I have to pick just the right moment in the game to insert a pinch-hitter” said Tony LaRussa, playing his cards carefully.
“I am compelled to confess to a variety of sexual escapades” said the priest, a loose cannon.
“Despite the pressures and time constraints of our careers, my husband and I tried to maintain a well-rounded sex life” said Claudette Robinson, blowing smoke.
“It helped that there was one position that always worked for both of us”, she added, coming out on top.
“I guess I’ll run around the track one more time” said Tom, relapsing.
“After all that time I spent in prison, nothing scares me now” said Tom, with the courage of his convictions.
“North Korea’s becoming too provocative with their nuclear tests!” Tom exploded.
“I have a strong recollection that the doctors were able to reattach my penis”, John Bobbitt remembered.
“I only have twenty cents to my name”, said Tom, paradigmatically.
“But I’m holding on to all twenty!” he added, keeping score.
“How I long for someone to play cards with me” Tom said wistfully.