“All these keyboard puns are harming me; I wonder if I can erase some of them?” wondered Tom, deleteriously.
“Let me add one more thing to that list”, Tom inserted.
“I’ve been cast as Richard Petty — one of the biggest characters in the history of motor sports — in an upcoming movie” said Tom, playing the race card.
“When we sent out the living room and bedroom curtains for dry cleaning, we had to temporarily hang big trash bags over the windows for privacy” said Tom, glad all over.
“When I played this scene, I tried to give it a little Atticus Finch slant” said Tom, feeling a bit peckish.
“Well, I did my scene as if I were the guy who played Tyler Durden from Fight Club” said Tom, pitifully.
“The female lead in Sunset Boulevard gives a bravura performance” said Tom, noting that it was her glorious swan song.
“The guy who played Batman is serious about his craft - I heard he’s been overeating to gain weight for his next role, in which he plays an evil character”, said Tom, balefully.
“I don’t want to live in the tropics. I like having seasons”, Tom said, intemperately.
“I am angry beyond belief at all these people publicly saying they’re homosexuals”, Tom said, outraged.
“This building was assembled from parts of old Soviet jets”, Tom explained.
“I’m taking over the government!” Tom cooed.
“Hey, I’m missing all my aggies, tigers, and swirlies!” said Tom, losing his marbles.
“That former jailbird we hired for that short-term position just can’t get to work on time”, Tom contemplated.
“This photo of Mary Ann in a bikini with just a little bit of her ass showing really turns me on” said Tom, up at the crack of dawn.
“I’m sharing a cup of coconut milk with my favorite drinking buddy, Mr. Howell”, said Gilligan, with a thurst on.
“I liked that Chevy hybrid so much I bought a second one” said Tom revoltingly.
“I prefer gasoline-only subcompacts”, said Tom, being civic-minded.
“But small American cars can also be nice”, Tom added, trying to focus on value.
“I should never have flown over the airbase”, Tom confessed, taking a lot of flak.