“You’re standing on my master’s degree!” Tom said diplomatically.
“I’m adding a *second *packet of artificial sweetener to my coffee”, said Tom, resplendently.
“You have a bachelor’s and a masters, and now after all that work and a thesis you say you want a PhD? Why?” asked the university president, giving Tom the third degree.
“But I made the tea yesterday,” Tom brooded.
“Dammit, I *will *win the Bulwer-Lytton contest next year!” Tom darkly stormed.
“I find this ridiculous lawsuit to be utterly without merit” said the judge in a distorted voice.
“Getting all those Boy Scouts to go to sleep has me frazzled”, said Scoutmaster Tom, intensely.
“Greg Oden has been charged with battery!” said Tom, electrified at the news.
“I just ate a mouse!” said the tomcat, in a squeaky voice.
" I wish I could think of that 80s song!", Ms. Goody Two Shoes said adamantly.
“Pay up by Friday, or I’ll increase the vig from 15 to 20 points,” said Tom the loan shark, with growing interest.
“As a former Vice-President, I need my own weapons to protect myself”, said Mr. Gore, alarmed.
“Ha! You call that a hurricane? Why, that was nothing!” said Tom with disgust.
“Look, be reasonable…I can’t take you for a walk until we get that crazy treadmill repaired” said George Jetson, speaking astrologically.
“I think I just saw Batman,” said Tom, with 16 grains of salt*
*Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na
“Listen, I’m the only executioner for hundreds of miles around…you better accede to my demands” said Pierre, who was looking for increased severance pay.
“I’ve accepted the ALS Challenge”, said Tom, icily.
“Gah! Get that German sausage away from me!” said Tom, fearing the worst.
“The hell with fumbling with a zipper and the button on the fly of my boxer shorts…I just pull everything down when it’s time to pee” said Tom, going all out.
“Let’s grab a quick bite at one of those joints where you put a coin in and pull a sandwich out from behind a little window” said Tom automatically.