Tom Swifties!

“I love putting false information in the entries,” he added wikidly.

“I cannot believe she whacked off my penis,” said Tom, coming up short.

“I wish I could play my videogames with my brainwaves alone,” Tom said disconsolately.

“________________” said Tom, insensibly.

“Shame about the incident with the steamroller at the Riverdance concert,” said Michael Flatley.

“Mister Ranger took away the pick-a-nick basket, Booboo!” said Yogi, who could bearly speak.

“A raccoon with a foamy mouth bit me, but I swear, I feel fine!” Tom said rabidly.

“Arr, it be $2.50 for a single slice or $10 for the whole one, me hearty,” said Tom piratically.

“Avast, I be seizin’ all yer condiments,” said Tom saltily.

“Uck o, the lot o you,” said Tom ineffably.

“I’ve always thought they should beatify Noah’s boat - it was surely the most miraculous thing in that tale” said Tom starkly.

“I hate this stove! It burns everything!” Tom said hotly.

“What *is *that foul smell in this hotel?” said Tom, instinctively.

“Can’r you stick something in that kid’s mouth to shut him up?” asked Tom, passive-firely

“I think I might look good standing outside Buckingham Palace in a red uniform with brass buttons and a big bearskin hat,” Tom said guardedly.

“Don’t leave me hanging here!” said Chad floridly.

“I just assumed I could turn up and get a table,” Tom said unreservedly.

“What do you mean, I can’t drive up to the summit of Mount St. Helens?” Tom erupted.

“Stub out your cigar and don’t just leave it smoldering in the ashtray, would you?” Tom fumed.

“Well THAT’s a childish way to react to fairly mild criticism!” said Tom, ashen-faced.