Top Ten of the Least Healthy Foods

So bad!

Just reading that list has made my arteries clog!

Although I must admit number 10 sounds tempting - who can resist two days worth of saturated fat in one dessert?

That list doesn’t include oven baked fries cooked with bacon… I demand a refund!

Pssstt…you forgot to mention the ladle of melted velveeta which goes on top - now that makes some killer fries

Yeah, I used to eat Marie Calenders – till I got a something or other that tasted salty, so I read the label – never again.

Thank Og I don’t eat any of the foods on the list. That must mean I’m eating healthy. Bring on the bacon-wrapped lard fries!

They didn’t mention one of my favorite restaurant meals: P. F. Chang’s Kung Pao Chicken. 1230 calories, 9g saturated fat, 78g total fat. YUM!

Pshaw, no such list would be complete without a mention of chicken-fried bacon.

Wait! Where’s the Scotch Eggs? How can it be a top ten list of bad foods without them?

And no mention at all of things like Deep Fried Twinkies, Snickers or even chocolate covered lard? Sheesh…

Ah…it’s so nice to have been a vegetarian most of my life. I have no idea what any of those meat dishes taste like, so I have no urge to eat them.

Where’s the new KFC bowls on this list? Covered with gravy and a three cheese sauce got to count for something?

It’s not so widespread, but where is the Luther burger? Or the hamdog?

How about stick of cold butter, dipped in caramel, deep-fried, drizzled with hot fudge and sprinkled with powdered sugar.

If I can substitute cinnamon for the powdered sugar, this sounds totally worth it to me.

Not much of a top 10 list, if you ask me. Campbell’s soup made it because of the salt? Can they really not find 10 things vastly worse for you than extra salt?

No chili cheese fries of any kind?

No smoked meat onion ring poutine with extra gravy?

Am I the only one who noticed that the list came from a site selling detox diets and supplies? I’m automatically a bit suspect of any information from such a source (even before noting that it doesn’t include bacon poutine).

Obviously they have never read the label on a Hungry Man ™ dinner. That is the only time I have read a label on a single-serving meal and seen the RDA percentages be over 100% for several categories. The salt in Campbell’s soup ain’t got nothing on those. I think one variety has 90% of your fat allowance in it and several have well over 1,000 calories.

This is a pretty stupid list. I think other people have touched on this, but the main problems are:

  1. Every item is listed by brand name. Is this like a vendetta toward frozen food companies? (not that they don’t deserve it…) If you’re trying to plan a better diet and can only think to cut out items by individual products by individual manufacturers, you’re going to stave before you figure out what you can and cannot eat!

  2. Personally, I am wary of anyone who tells me a given food is just bad. There’s no such thing. Food does not have agency or morality (at least, after it is dead and ready to be turned into food), and thus cannot be bad in and of itself. What can be bad is human behavior. Is it bad to eat a Peperidge Farm Pot Pie? No, absolutely not. It’s my behavior with the pies that make it unhealthy.

  3. This website screams skeeve, so while I know that pushing a balanced diet isn’t bad, all the detoxing crap totally cancels that out for me. It’s like those anti-tobacco ads that just make me want to smoke.