You have been replaced by a cat.
It happens.
I will say to you what I said to my little brother after finding out his wife of twenty-something years had left him.
“Dude, I thought from the beginning that you coulda done better.”
It’s terrible almost any time a relationship ends, and the way this one ended makes it more confusing, I’m sure.
I’m not sue, really, that it makes it more painful in the long run. So, try to view it from that perspective. That if she was determined to go, she at least didn’t keep you hanging on.
But I’m really sorry you’re dealing with it.
I (a divorce lawyer) regularly come across sudden separations without much, if any, forewarning, particularly when the parties are unable to communicate effectively with each other on an ongoing basis, and the one leaving wishes to avoid conflict. Quite simply, which is more painful – leaving, or having an argument while leaving?
Obvious not – your perception did not match reality. Eventually you should look into why, but leave that for later.
For the present, try not to find reasons or assign blame to either party. Just accept that shit happen. Accept the pain and the grief, and leave the post-mortem for later.
While you are healing, be patient with yourself and with others, but keep an eye on your mental health, and if you find yourself slipping, hie thee to a good counsellor.
Once you are back on a more or less even keel, you can investigate the reasons for the relationship failure with a view to learning how not to repeat past mistakes. A good counsellor can help you with this. Again, do not play the blame game.
Bad advice. Do not dwell on this. It will only make it worse. Or what Muffin said.
I’m really sorry. Leaving without a word just sucks.
I’m sorry. That must have been a tremendous shock.
I know someone whose husband did something similar. One day while she was at work, he cleared out all his belongings and disappeared. She had no idea why he did it, though it later transpired that he had been having an affair and his girlfriend was pregnant with their child. It was really difficult for my friend but a few years on she is much happier and actually relieved not to be married to that jerk any longer.
I disagree. He needs to confirm that she did, in fact, leave him. If only for the sake of his own psychological well being.
I mean, if someone you care about suddenly disappears, shouldn’t you make at least make a token effort to find them? Does he even know she’s still alive?
You’re suggesting someone killed her, then took everything she owned, leaving all of Ambi"s stuff untouched in the process? The killer knew to take the correct toothbrush?
If her stuff was still there, yes. The way she left the relationship means that 1)She is gone for good and 2)She isnt a person worth fighting for.
Continued effort on this relationship would only make things worse for the OP imo.
I’d say there’s a 99% chance that you’re absolutely correct.
However, I also say that that remaining 1% will keep him up at night for years if he does nothing. He needs confirmation. Even, say, her sister telling him that his GF doesn’t want to talk to him would be enough. Until then, he’s moving his life forward based an assumption. A perfectly logical assumption, but an assumption nonetheless.
Could’ve been worse. song Could’ve taken her stuff and left something else, something you’d have to explain.
Sometimes, you really do have to smoke cigarettes, eat pot pies, and just pace back and forth screaming obscenities for about 6 months. Eventually, you’ll snub out the last butt, clean the dishes, quiet down, and keep on swimming.
I’m sorry to hear it.
This is a good point. In addition to all the soul-searching and crying…take some concrete steps to keep your life stable. Do it today, not tomorrow.
Is theft a potential problem? Maybe even violence?(from her directly, or indirectly, through her friends)
How many keys does she have to your property? your car? Copies of your ID documents? Your bank accounts? email? Passwords?
Any Facebook or cyber-stalking type of issues?
Mutual friends? Are there certain people you should now call, or certain other people you should now stay away from?
Place of work–hers and yours. What kinds of problems could arise?
You are naturally upset and emotiional right now…but think carefully, and rationally.
I agree. The problem is that there are now no “mutual friends.” Everyone who formerly met that description is now going to be either on his side or her side. Those on his side won’t know anything and will be unable to help him, and those on her side will refuse to help him, and if he persists will view him as a “stalker” and could get him in trouble.
QFT. I’m sorry for your experience, but there isn’t much doubt that if this what she’s capable of, you’re gonna be better off in the long run no matter how much it stings now. Hang in.
Sorry this happened to you.
You seem like a nice guy and deserve better.
I have no relevant experience and hence no advice to add. Though I found a lot I agreed with in what folks have already written.
But I’ll add to the chorus that this sucks and you didn’t deserve this. And that taking care of you is job 1. In many ways it’s a simpler job than the one you had yesterday. Unfamiliar and different, but simpler in it’s own way. Embrace it looking forward, not backward. There is nothing useful in the rearview mirror. At least not right away.
Good luck my friend.
Aw, that sucks, Ambi. So sorry to hear it. Sending love and pixel-hugs your way.
Hey, some things die hard, slow death. 
This is actually closer to home than any of the other posts/suggestions. I didn’t explain every detail during my OP, I was quite upset and almost delirious.
My GF (or ex) has what I believe to be Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I’m not going to get into it here as to why I am convinced with absolute certainty, other than to say her mother was diagnosed with it and she displays most symptoms herself. However, she’s never been officially diagnosed.
I had been an extremely understanding boyfriend. I educated myself on BPD, I recognized her behavior and saw that it really wasn’t something she was consciously even aware of. So I stayed, I loved her, she is the sweetest girl I’ve ever known, without a doubt. I encouraged her into treatment, medication and therapy.
I know this sudden disappearance is related to her mental well being. I just don’t understand any of it.
I got ahold of her brother, who lives about three hours away. He is slightly autistic and hard of hearing and I found communicating with him slightly difficult and frustrating. But I at least found out that she is safe. He told me that she is ok and not to worry but he wouldn’t tell me more. She must had talked to him already and told him not to divulge anything.