It was metaphorical, it could be anything. It could be outrigger padalling, it could be cross country skiing, it could be touch football or a local softball team.
(2) It’s rather vain to describe ourselves, or anything we’ve done, as brilliant.
(3) Your opinion regarding your post is just that, an opinion. For the sake of variation, how about we let the OP make an assessment on my post instead of you, shall we?
I’m glad you got some closure, Ambivalid tThe whole situation sucks.
This happened to me after 30+ years of marriage and two children. The one difference was he was waiting for me to get home to tell me a bunch of lies about why he was leaving. His stuff was packed and in the truck before I was in the driveway. I found out a few days later he immediately went on vacation with the woman with whom he had been having an affair.
It’s not totally your fault that you might not know this, but Ambivalid is a fitness buff. I doubt he needs to be encouraged to get exercise. He also uses a wheelchair, so recommending bicycling might not be helpful.
Mistake #1. You insisted on talking to her. Worse yet, you empowered her to dump on you. And she really dumped on you, plus tax. Loads of people gave you the right advice but it appears you didn’t heed it. Less is more now. Your call should have been short, cordial, to the point regarding any outstanding items, and it should have ended on a breezy “Well take care!”
Mistake #2. She doesn’t give a shit if you love her or not. You confirmed that by all the bizarre stuff she dumped on you. And you welcomed that into your life like a massive freeway on ramp directing down town traffic. In short, you just sucker punched yourself.
Anyway, now that you’ve got that out of the way, just focus on being Joe Cool and for the love of Pete, find something immediately to consume your time to circumvent all these head miles you’re doing. Absolutely no more communication. Like I said earlier, you’re only a victim of shitty behaviour once, after that you’re volunteering.
Indeed, ask the mods to lock the thread. Even keeping this thread alive merely prolongs the head miles.
Well, I know that now! To be fair however, that’s some inside info which really isn’t relative to the thread, as it is written, is it? If the OP had made that known I would have recommended wheelchair basketball, or wheelchair racing!
The point is, life doesn’t beat a path to your loungeroom door. You have to go out and make it happen.
I disagree with BBFF. I think in the long run Ambi is bette r off knowing that she is crazy and she hates him. Having that kind of knowledge would have helped me get over heartbreak faster at certain points in my life.
She probably is not actually crazy and she probably doesn’t actually hate him.
That said, when she told him how she thought of him, and he immediately dismissed her by jumping to how this validates his personal diagnoses of her mental problems … yeah, that’s exactly why there wasn’t any point in her sticking around to talk to him.
I don’t think she hates me. I don’t think she’s “crazy” but I know she is extremely burdened with mental difficulties. I immediately dismissed the notion that I am an “abuser” of any sort. She was hyper-sensitive, I was some what gruff; those things,when combined with certain perspectives, can equate “abuse”. I am drawing these conclusions in hingsight.
She was relatively inexperienced with adult relationships (she was ten years younger) and had a family history of if not outright abuse, definitely damaging relationships (her mother was a diagnosed bpd and most likely schizophrenic, who died of cancer when she was 19, her father remarried an abusive, fundamentalism evangelical loon and she had no real relationships with her father after that remarriage).
That said, I validated her concern that I had anger management problems. I am already in therapy, and I am considering anger-management therapy as well. Not because I think that I have abusive levels of anger, far from it. But because I don’t like the way I feel when the anger has control over me.
Ambivalid has a SCI and is bound to a wheel chair. From his posting history it seems he still exercises (more than the myself, at that), but you should, at the least, be aware.
Ambi will probably be fine 10 years from now—if not a year—but it sucks major balls right now to be so betrayed and confused by his GF. Cut him some fucking slack on this.
ETA: Ninja’d by Rigamarole.
In addition to being a complete fucking pile of shit, you’re just fucking wrong. I know it’s easy to be an expert on other people’s live on the internet, but your confident bluster is just making you look like a fucking jackass. Enough already. Not every situation is as it appears. Fuck off please.
How funny. You’ve gone online bemoaning your relationship problems, you’ve received truckloads of totally valid advice on how to conduct yourself and on what to do (not just from me), you’ve completely ignored it, instead you’re wallowing in your own self pity and now that a mirror is being held up to your decisions, someone else is THE FUCKING JACKASS?
Seriously, what part about “most of our problems in life are of our own making” doesn’t apply to you in this instance?
I advised you to lock the thread but nooooooooo… that’s not good enough. You’re just loving all the attention, aren’t you?
You’re a funny dude. You know about .5% of anything about this situation, yet you’re smug in your confidence here. What a douche. Again, fuck off please. I won’t ask again.