Ok, I’ll amend my words a bit, I don’t think the gulf between “you’re abusive with your words” and “that’s crazy talk” was all that vast. I agree, it was somewhere in the middle. My point was that, to anyone other than this fragile, hypersensitive girl, no one would ever consider my behavior abusive. I wasn’t always the most pleasant, sunshine filled guy, but I was always decent inside. I live by my personal boundaries, and those are determined by my personal ethics. But that still doesn’t mean that my abuse wasn’t real to her. It was her reality, it was the only world she knew. So I can’t invalidate it from that perspective. But I also know that she was not healthy, mentally. So I have to consider all of these things when making decisions.
Ambivalid, here’s another screenshot. Your wish is my command…
Yeeeeaaaah, that links not showing what you’re thinking it’s showing.
ETA: And I DON"T think I’m a victim. In all honesty, I do realize in all likelihood I avoided a much larger calamity farther down the road. I’m not sure where you got the victim mentality. People go thru difficult times. You’re human right? Have some fucking empathy. I’m not a victim. I’m just hurting.
The user who sent the PM is the smaller black word, not the blue underlined word.
I’m trying to take you at face value, but this is worrisome. This is just not what people who DON’T have anger management problems say. Nobody LIKES the way they feel when they get angry, but you describe a whole other thing. You should consider whether you’re minimizing, from your own perspective, your anger and how it could affect others, regardless of (or considering) their own mental issues.
I do sincerely hope you feel better about things soon.
That is a screenshot of a PM from someone named “Melbourne” with a subject of “Ambivalid”.
I’m confused. Are you also Melbourne?
Oh, sorry mate. I can see now the message was sent to me, about you, by a person called “Melbourne”. My bad.
Will you please now leave me the fuck alone?
This post made my day.
no we don’t.
Ok, but what am I minimizing? Honestly? I don’t like the way I feel when I get angry. But nothing has ever happened other than me feeling bad about myself because of this. And I never said I DIDN’T have anger management problems, I just said I don’t feel they were honestly very close to abusive anger. What exactly qualifies as “abusive anger”?
Did you even bother to read the message? That should have provided a clue as to whether or not it was sent by Ambivalid, considering you were going to bow out of this thread until you received it.
Back to the subject matter at hand…
Yep, that is essentially what I’ve been driving at, albeit far far less elegantly. I referred earlier to the area of “impression management”. I’m detecting a propensity for a hair trigger temper, at least as demonstrated in this thread, with regards to any tone which fits the bill of being what the OP wants to hear. The manner in which his partner left suggests she was aware this is an issue, and she wished to avoid dealing with it.
You know, I like the dope. I tend to think that most people on are pretty normal, give them the benefit of the doubt.
But then I read responses like Boo Boo Foo, and realize there’s a lot of non functioning chowder heads posting here. Sigh.
Classic! Okay, this here is pretty funny. Maybe you can get a laugh out if it, Ambivalid.
Funny, I didn’t read anything like that from your posts. I managed to respond to needscoffee in a completely reasonable manner, because her post was completely reasonable. You could learn something from her.
Boo boo foo, your advice might be good in a couple of days, or weeks. Right now, ambivalid is still in shock and grieving over the loss of his relationship. Cut him some slack.
In all honesty, please tell me what advice of his might be good? It’s an honest question. He’s starting from a point of assumption which he will not be dissuaded from. There is no point engaging with people of this mindset. People are complicated. Relationships are so easy to dissect and understand from the perspective of words on a screen. I’m telling you, with no reason to be anything but honest, that the assumptions being made here are off-base. Not everything, and not in entirety, but it seems to be a trend to see things in black and white. When relationships are often very mixed and both people bring there own set of complications.
You have demonstrated that you aren’t super good at reading or human interaction. I know practice is important, but maybe you could start with a different thread.