My French is rusty enough to be punched through with a fist, and I have no knowledge of Apollinaire — who like his English-speaking ( and other ) contemporaries, having emerged from the Fin-de-Siècle unscathed, seemed to be in an uncertain phase of culture waiting to be proved in the Embrace of Death in the carnage attained.
Still… neither seems ideal, but the first, 'Neath the Bridge Mirabeau flows the Seine, is rather plodding and very unworthy of Tom Hood 80 years before ( similar style ). The second is adequate, and sprightly in a Bérangeresque fashion, but very shallow in thought ( which seems right ).
However, all translation is difficult and treacherous; and the lightest thought sounds meaningful in the original French.
Thanks for your reply, Claverhouse. I was hoping for more responses, but I guess I’ll settle for a 1-0 decision.
I was inerested not only in imitation of the poetic effects, but translation of some French phrases that seemed ambiguous to me. Anyway, I guess you sum it up best: