Somewhere in the world there needs to be a repository for babelfish’s funniest mistranslations, and it might as well be here.
If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, here’s what you do: type something into the babelfish translation engine and translate it into some other language. Copy the result back in and translate it back to english. Lather, rinse, repeat. Idiomatic phrases often work best, but it can make amusing hash of just about anything.
Here’s my best effort so far (Ripper’s famous rant from Dr. Strangelove):
After repeated retranslation, we have
Come on, I’m sure you can do better
Here are some characteristics of what I consider to be a good translation
[ul][li]reasonably intelligible[/li][li]unintentionally humorous (extra points for innuendo) (I think “liquid physicist” is pretty funny)[/li][li]bizarre translations of common words (e.g. “potentiometer” above)[/li][li]the introduction of excess verbiage with no apparent cause (e.g. “nonappreciable of the circumstance”)[/ul][/li]
Note: occasionally, it will fail to translate some words back into english (for whatever unfathomable reason). I do not consider it cheating to help it along a little by manually translating such words. It’s usually pretty easy to figure out what they’re supposed to be from context.
I entered “Organ transplants are best left to the professionals”, something Bart Simpson once wrote on the chalkboard. After going through Portugese, German and then Italian, I wound up with "The transplants of the agency they calmly improve the experts "
Would this count? It’s the opening to Phantom Menace (which I still haven’t seen) translated back and forth twice from German.
The only intervention I made was separating a few German compound words (Babelfish has no difficulty translating “Deathstar” to “Todestern” because of the way English and German are structured. However, since German compound words often have a different nuance than their raw elements (‘Todestern’ isn’t specifically in Babelfish’s dictionary) It doesn’t reverse as gracefully. I divided it back into “Tode stern” before translating back. Ditto with Schlecthand – bad or evil hand?
I must admit that, as a HS frosh, viewing the original Star Wars, I’d have been amused by to know they’d be “fastening the feeler gages” of an “evil hand” on various “hidden lower surfaces” when Leia ran on board the starship
“Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”
After English->French->English->German->English:
“Fourscore and are there seven years our fathers, who are gotten on this continent a new nation, in which liberty is understood and request it is dedicated to which that all same men are manufactured.”
Neil Armstrong’s flubbed line from the Apollo moon landing:
“That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”
It went through French, German and Portuguese to give back:
"It is a small period of training for human beings, an enormous branch office for the humanity "
I dunno, sounds kinda funny
(It was written as “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind”, but I’m sure everybody already knew that, given that you are all experiencd dopers!)
This one deserves some explanation. Originally, the only word after the “–” was Panama. Going to Italian and back turns this into “Panama hat.” To French and back, and “hat” becomes “cap.” To Portugese and back and “cap” becomes “drain plug.” Between German and Spanish you get this wierd stuff about water drainage and protective caps.
You is a shepherd of mine; I will not want. It maketh I to meet for bottom in green grass: it leadeth I at the side of real water. It restoreth my heart: it leadeth I in the passages of the righteousness for the cause of its name. Yea, nevertheless I walk by the valley of the nuance of death, I will not fear any evil: for art He thou it with me; the rod thy and equips with employees thy relieve me. Thou the preparest evaluates before me in the enemies of presence the mine: my head with the oil anointest thou more; runneth of mine of the cup in function. Certainly quality and the grace will follow me of my life each day: and I will live for always in the house of the MISTER.
And here is the Hail Mary, translated successively into Portuguese, Spanish, and Italian:
They have hailed Maria, plethora of tolerance, you are with the thee. He has Benedict of the art between the thou of the women and thy Benedict is the fruit of the table, Jesus. Saint Maria, arsenal the God, hour demanded for we sinners and on the hour of of our dead women.
I’m looking at myself reflections of my mind,
It’s just the kind of day to leave myself behind.
So gently swaying through the fairyland of love,
If you’ll just come with me you’ll see the beauty of Tuesday afternoon
came out as
I regard myself reflections of my understanding, it am the even type of the daily for after leaving. So easily, influencing by fairyland to the love, if you come even with me, see the beauty of the Tuesday afternoon
Wow. I changed the beginning of Matthew Arnold’s “The Buried Life” and despite very slight modifications that usually fixed themselves, it didn’t change anything.
So instead, I give you the (very lame) Cogito - “I think therefore I a.m.”
As I said, I’ve never seen Phantom hope, I just cut’n’paste it from some web page without really looking at the text.
My penance: a single trip to German and back turns the opening of [“The Day The Music Died”](FAQ: The Annotated "American Pie) into a drunken rescension of “The Dancing Wu Li Masters” (a quantum physics text, of sorts) as told by any number of authors from Herman Melville on…
"A long, long time ago…
I can still remember how
That music used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make those people dance,
And maybe they’d be happy for a while.
My husband has family in Germany, and iwth the advent of Babelfish and the like, I can actually mail over letters and pictures with a basic message on it, rather than the usual, “Love, Joan.” .
We’ve just started doing emails back and forth and the translation on my end is absolutely hysterical. I can only imagine what they are thinking over there when they run it through babelfish. Here is an example from my husbands cousins Uwe and Tine:
In English:
Hello hello thank you for the calling. We were even 2 minute from the entry door. Here is also everything okay. Since February 2000 I operate 30 Std ( Std means hours). in the week with Uwe in the company and 7 Std. in the week still in another company. Uwe is always on the way. Today he had to operate after Sylt (city) to. Its new auto has already many kilometers behind itself. I believe it come. ( This is the funny part)* Yes, I must make fast meals now, otherwise he is me up and I tastes not so well my meat is already 35 years old.* (Reality translation: I have to make fast meals now and its not so easy now that I’m 35 years old…or something like that.) I require beautiful Ostertage (Easter) to you. Greetings ask all of us. We think of you. Greeting Tine & Uwe.
I’m a Yankee Doodle dandy, a Yankee Doodle do or die.
A real live nephew of my Uncle Sam, born on the fourth of July.
I have a Yankee Doodle sweetheart, she’s my Yankee Doodle joy.
Yankee Doodle went to London just to ride a pony, I am a Yankee Doodle boy!
