False. While I do love Statler & Waldorf, I’m a fan of Kermit the Frog ever since I was a tadpole watching him on the Today Show.
The Next Poster has never experienced the heartbreak of psoriasis.
Fortunately true. Dry skin now and then, the occasional rash, but no psoriasis.
TNP has spoken to a famous actor.
False. I yelled at Danny Devito once in Vegas but alas, he didn’t hear me 
(or more likely, pretended to ignore me. Asshole). He is even shorter and rounder in real life than in the movies tho. At least he was 13 years ago when I saw him.
TNP has no idea who Danny Devito is.
Possibly true. I saw Ed Asner in the restroom of the Cleveland Play House when he was appearing in a production of Born Yesterday. As I recall, we nodded to each other, but no words were exchanged.
I have spoken to Jay Leno during/after a couple of his performances, but although he has acting credits, he’s certainly known primarily as a comic and talk show host.
The next poster has been to at least one of the Smithsonian museums.
Whoops, forgot to hit preview. To answer Ambivalid, false – I watched Taxi regularly.
Same Smithsonian guess as before.
False
TNP has never played any of the Tony Hawk games.
True. Or even ever heard of it.
TNP has more than 10 pairs of shoes in his/her current possession.
False, only four (including house shoes). Madame P, on the other hand, well, yeah.
The Next Poster hasn’t been to the eye doctor in over a year.
False. I see the eye doctor every year like clockwork.
TNP has had a colonoscopy.
True.
TNP likes to do jigsaw puzzles.
False, but my wife loves 'em.
TNP enjoys the card game UNO.
True, along with most other card games.
The Next Person knows all the words to at least one song that was released since the start of this century.
True. Mostly they’re songs from movies/TV my son watched when he was younger.
TNP has baked a cake from scratch.
False. I have considered baking one from scratch on several occasions but in the end have always resorted to the Duncan Hines option.
TNP has never passed their hand slowly over a candle flame to show what a badass they are.
False, I am not a badass, no one ever thought I was, and I’ve never tried to prove it.
The Next Player knows how to square dance, and does it well.
False. I have only square-danced a few times (not well), and cannot now remember any of the rules.
TNP has big plans for the weekend.
Generally true. Quality time with the wife on Saturday. Trip to Vegas Sunday.
The next poster has been deposed for a court case
No. I have testified, but never been deposed.
TNP has read a deposition transcript in the past month.
False
The next poster used to sleep naked but now wears jammies or something comfy to bed
True. I wear comfy stuff in cold weather. I will go back to sleeping nekkid when it gets hot.
TNP has a piercing that is hidden by clothing. Most of the time.