Well, thanks, now I have coffee in my sinuses. 
Maybe they can lock him away in The Tower 
In my opinion, this one works better with the sound off:
But it is very revealing.
Nah, she doesn’t pretend to run the UK. She DOES represent the UK as Head of State and does so with a degree of class and grace that Trump couldn’t begin to fathom.
Don’t pick on Elizabeth the Second or we’ll have to have words.
All that given, but the sequels never do quite measure up to the original, do they?
Do you suppose it’s too late to join the Commonwealth?
We’d probably let you in, for despite the present unpleasantness, you’re only a flawed democracy rather than a failed one. We’ve had and have significantly worse in the Commonwealth. I don’t think it would do much good, though, for the USA tends to think of itself as exceptional rather than one nation of many. The Commonwealth is more the sort of place that is helpful for developing nations (for example, Pakistan, India and Bangladesh sitting around a table, or any number of African nations that are moving forward).
Given Traitor Trump’s reported predilections, let’s just be grateful he didn’t ask the queen to piss on him.
Minor maladies (with even smaller hands) often come with great titles though.
…which tourists could then call “Trump Tower”?
“Here, why does this barrel of malmsey smell like ammonia?”
“Shut yer gob and get it inside. And don’t take all day! Its been ordered for mr. Trump special-like…”
Hey, I’ve got a plan. Trump retreats to Mar-a-Lago with his most ardent supporters, and the rest of us join (rejoin?) the Commonwealth!
Optional: detaching Florida (the Bobbett amendment)…
There could even be bribery involved. The Queen announces bangers ‘n’ mash for anyone who votes for “Brentrance”.
I could fancy a bit o’ clotted cream on my crumpet.
Clotted cream is awesome, but I’ll have to pass on the bangers. English (breakfast) sausage has a fair bit of grain in it, and I just never learned to like that. I’d vote for it, anyway, although these days they’re having their share of woes and idiots.
Given sea level rise caused by human induced climate change, if you could get climate change denier Trump to stay at Mar-a-Lago, he’d eventually drown in a storm.
Okay, non-Trumpists get bribed with their choice of bangers, shepherd’s pie, toad in the hole, or (my choice) the classic English Pub lunch with a pint of cider.
That’s pretty wimpy for serious climate change. I’d bet Mar-a-Loopy-de-Loo gets swept away by a tsunami. In my day dreams, it happens to be Hurricane Hillary (no relation).
They have a dish called “Spotted Dick”. I don’t know, and I don’t want to.
I think Trump Tower makes itself look like a trailer. One that’s very bigly and standing on its side, mind you, but that’s more or less the level of maintenance.