I honestly no longer give a crap about any of that. What are you going to do to help her stop hitting and verbally abusing her children? Or are you going to walk away from this abuse you know about?
ya I don’t care about that anymore trash really, I was just responding to the people who brought it up again.
I talked to her this morning about how she needs to get some help because somebody is likely to call cps. She told me before I even brought this up that her neighbour told her if she needs to yell at her kids she should do it in doors because she obviously can’t control her language and temper outside. I said I have noticed this too and told her that she really needs to take parenting classes and I’d even go with her. This completely surprised her and she was very insulted. Basically she said she’s not perfect and I’m judging her and if I don’t like it I can leave and that she already said she wants to get counseling. I asked when. She snapped and said she doesn’t know she’s busy. Then she walked away and said we’re not a good fit and she needs to reevaluate herself and the relationship.
So I think I’m going to talk to her step dad about it. She lived with them s while back and I’m curious to know if she managed to hide some things from him. He’s a really calm guy and she looks up to him so maybe she will listen to him. I’m just not ready to call cps and then walk away. I’m not ruling it out though.
this is sad really. I’m looking at her Facebook and you’d think she qualifies for mother of the year. This is why I’m posting here. Nobody who knows her would believe this. They’d. think I was making this up to becovindictive.
I’m not convinced you’re not–for that matter, I’m not entirely convinced by any of this–but taking you at your word, you’ve got a serious choice to make, and the choice isn’t about what you’re comfortable doing, but what you’re comfortable knowing and doing nothing about.
really? I’m just making all this up for what? I’d rather see her improve this issue by her own will or with help from people who love her. as I said I’ve tried and I’m still willing to but the relationship appears to be over. I mean really what are you trying to say? that I’m supposed to just pick up the phone, call cps, dump her, and then go into work Monday and pretend I didn’t do it? or I’m supposed to just say hey I’m calling no, hard feelings though, see you at work. do you not believe there is no other solution? I’m actually asking if you believe there is no other solution.
Attention. Weirder things have happened. In any case, I’ll go on the assumption it’s real.
I’m saying you figure out what’s best for the people who are being hit, not what’s least awkward for you.
But if you need to, use a script. Something like this:
- I think this relationship is over.
- Your discipline constitutes illegal physical abuse, and the names you call your children constitutes damaging psychological abuse.
- I’m sorry to be a dick about it, but
- I’m putting CPS in touch with you about this, and
- I understand that I’m complicit in this abuse, since I’ve been watching your children be attacked for weeks (months?) and have done nothing to protect them.
She is (apparently) not that great a mom re handling kid misbehavior to the point of it being a public scene.
You are not her go to for support whether it was for abortion or dealing with a miscarriage. Assuming it was an abortion per your not altogether unreasonable suspicions she is not interested in having your baby (understandable per my prior post)
She is not particularly interested in your unsolicited opinions on her mothering (understandable in context)
She is giving you the straight arm in terms of engaging your concerns
With 3 kids and a low income she is assumedly in a highly stressed financial situation where the assistance of someone sharing the household expenses and child rearing would be a huge benefit for her and now she has effectively told you to back off.
At first in your OP I thought this was her trying to keep you despite not wanting to have your kid, but in reality it’s entirely the reverse,. You’re “still willing” and clamped onto her like a remora and she’s trying to pull you off. Take the hint.