Rules of the game: Take a poem that is not already in haiku form and rewrite it so that it fits into the 5-7-5 format.
For example, Robert Herrick’s “To the Virgins, To Make Much of Time”:
Gather ye rosebuds
Because time waits for no one
This means you, virgins
Listen my children,
Paul Revere yelled from his horse,
“British are coming!”
Although he was rich,
Richard Cory was lonely.
So, he shot himself.
Clever Ulysses
Sailed around for twenty years
Before getting home.
A well-endowed man
Gave himself oral pleasure
Up in Nantucket.
Green Eggs and Ham exist
Sam exists in the same plane
I do not like either
Hoo boy. Just wait until saepiroth sees this.
In honor of The Simpsons:
The bird says “Nevermore”
To the man who lost Lenore
Then Homer throws a vase
Ozymandias
“Look on my works, ye mighty”
Written in the dust
The ladies and whores
speak to me of coffee spoons.
I will eat a peach.
One! Two! Snicker-snack!
Thou hast slain the Jabberwock?
Frabjous day! Callay!
Edna St. Vincent Millay:
Sonnet xix
You will die someday,
Your lovely body ruined.
My love can’t save you.
Sonnet cxxviii
I will die someday,
but I have things to do first.
Death can go hungry.
Dante went to Hell.
Vergil took him on a tour.
They saw lots of Popes!
I think that I shall
never see a poem as
lovely as a tree.
A slouching rough beast
Towards Bethlehem it goes
Waiting to be born
**Ancient Mariner
Shoots Albatross with Crossbow
Gets home Late, Alone.
I am a Pepper
If you imbibe this soft drink
You’re a Pepper too
Ogden Nash
Termite knocked on wood,
found it tasted good. So May
fell through floor today.
Tying runs on base
But Casey whiffs ineptly
Not a contract year
Dang it, Borborygmi, that was gonna be mine!
Kublai Kahn put his
pleasure-dome in Xanadu
high resale price
(caveman: ya gotta be quick around here! ;))
Know If you’re a Man?
Refer to Kipling’s checklist
Determine your score
Yesterday on Stair
I Met a Man who Wasn’t There.
Nor today, either.