Good question. Another good question is just how tough do you really want your asswipe? I know you can wipe with printer paper if you want to (and not get any stuck to your bum), but who wants to?
If I ever catch Billy Mays in the street I’d stuff whatever product he’s selling down his throat so he’d stop yelling and Vince with his ‘Sham Wows’ and ‘Slap Chops’ would get the business end of my foot!
I guess that butts come in degrees of sensitivity? The question is - who tests that? 
Well, Hitler got voted in when, 1933? That’s just a dozen years - barely out of warranty. That’s some misleading advertising right there; mind you, laws were laxer then.
Here in the UK we have TP ads with a fucking puppy frolicking around.
“Oh what a cute dinkums lickle puppy, I’ll have to buy his TP tomorrow” …piss off.
Alcohol ads: All with a tiny mention to “Drink aware” who reads that?
The one that does my head in is the confused.com for car insurance. I never saw such a bunch of moronic twats in my life before .
I could go on and on and on and…
“Oh hello doctor, is that my medication?”
The comparison site ads are pretty terrible for the most part, yeah. The current Compare the Market ad, on the other hand, is probably the best thing ever made by man.
Second-best, at least.
If adverts annoy you, you should watch this
It’s a risky strategy though - kill or cure. You’ll either love it and be instantly cheered up or it will make you want to throw your telly out of the window. Along with yourself.
BRING ON THE TRUMPETS.
Could you point me towards this ad? I’d love to see it, as I have the memory of a goldfish.
Wow. I wish we had “Bring on the Trumpets!” and “Compare the Meerkat” type ads in the states. I’d watch TV just for the ads.
The only one that really irks me is the Snuggie commercial. Good lord, what a fucking disaster. Omigoditsablanketwithsleeves because it’s apparently damn near impossible for anyone to do a fucking thing while under a blanket. That woman would NEVER BE ABLE TO ANSWER HER TELEPHONE without sleeves! And the family around the BBQ pit? Creepiest scene ever. They look like a fucking cult.
ETA: Holy shit. YouTubing for that damned ad yielded the WTF Blanket, which pretty much embodies my thoughts on that ad, in way that made me almost choke with laughter. Best YouTube video ever.
Actually, the meerkat one can’t be the best ad ever made, because this is. (Sound probably not safe for work…)
I am sick of the various “freight rail” ads. I don’t buy trains. I have no way of selecting goods shipped by rail over goods shipped by truck. If I did, I would now select goods shipped by truck out of sheer annoyance.
Nah, the Best Ad Ever award goes to Hamlet Cigars.
[spoiler]Two people on board ship arguing furiously over a map. One declaims “I tell you, the world is round. Round!”
In the brief silence you hear the lookout’s voice. “The Edge of the World! The Edge of the World is in sight!”
Cut to a scene of water boiling over a precipice.
Our hero lights up a Hamlet cigar to the strains of “Air on a G-String”, and is last seen contentedly puffing against a starry background as the ship sails over the edge.[/spoiler]You can’t make them like that any more. It’s illegal.
Guinness has made some good ones too.
Two years ago, we bit the bullet and went to satellite service. We rarely watch anything real time; we program the DVR to catch shows we want and then fast-forward through the commercials. I don’t know how we ever managed to endure pre-DVR.
That has got to be one of the greatest inventions of mankind.
The one that got me was a Charmin ad with the cartoon bears. The baby bear bends over and you can see TP dingleberries hanging off of his butt.
WTF?
The whole Charmin “bears” thing is so over. We get it…“Do bears shit in the woods?” How clever! Now think of something new.
This is why I’m so glad I gave up cable. That way I don’t have to pay for any of it.
If I had my way, one quarter of all advertising space in every medium would be required to be available free of charge to anyone with a non-commercial message. One quarter of the billboards, one quarter of the TV ads, one quarter of the blog ads…
Furthermore, ads would be considered ‘commercial speech’ and have fewer copy rights than the non-commercial speech of actual individual human beings. Anyone would be allowed to reference any ad for rebuttal and use part or all of the ad under fair use doctrine.
On TV, no ad would be allowed to be shown twice without program content between showings. (Yes, I’ve seen the same ad twice in the same group of ads on TV. And not recently either.)
I personally loathe those adverts presented by ageing celeberaties who talk coyly about leaving a little money for your family and to pay the bills and for your funeral “After you’ve gone”.
Ghoulish bastards can whistle for any money I owe them after I’m dead and anyone related to me who hopes to profit from my death can go fuck themselves, fucking vultures.
As to my funeral?
My body is going to medical science(As an example of lack of abstinance to young people) so the Funeral Directors can go fuck themselves aswell.
Charlie Brooker agrees with you (sadly no way to access youtube at work to give you a link), check out his “cocks of advertising”, most of his top choices were the ones that irked me the most.
I too loathe those ads, but my late FIL died literally penniless. My wife and I paid for his funeral out of pocket, as well as my SIL’s cremation. Neither had any insurance.
That said, the funeral industry is a piece of work in markups and upselling, so I say kudos to your leaving your body to science.
I hate just about all commercials and ads. During CART’s heyday though, there was one starring Jimmy Vasser (I believe it was for Target – they had some good ones). VO from memory: “How does champion driver Jimmy Vasser win races?” Cut to oval track, with Vasser’s car whizzing around the turns. Vasser’s VO: “Wall bad…finish line good…wall bad…finish line good…”
There was another for Target: Chip Gannassi walks into the garage where Vasser and others are talking.
Gannassi: Anybody seen Juan?
Vasser: Who?
G: Juan Montoya, our new driver?
V: He’s on the track.
Cut to the track, at night. Montoya’s holding a flashlight and a bag. “Here, snipe snipe snipe!”
Otherwise, I change the channel or mute the TV as quickly as I possibly can, and couldn’t tell you anything about current commercials.
Some of the ads for Carling lager have been brilliant, especially the piss-take on the Dambusters one.
As for the funeral business mentioned upthread: When I croak they can shovel me into the gutter and leave me to rot for all I care.
There’s a family of foxes near where I live, they’ll soon have me scoffed