I have a vague memory of being five years old and my cousin and I trying to “crucify” his little sister using crayons as pretend nails-I think it was right after we saw Jesus of Nazarus.
When I was ten years old, I went riding bareback because I’d seen Annie Oakley do it on TV.
The horse threw me, I landed headfirst on a rock, and I ended up with 55 stitches in my scalp.
So much for the wisdom of television.
When I was about 4 or 5, my family took me to a family reunion-type party at my grandfather’s house. I was a bit of a londer among the kids, so I thought I’d hang out with an “older crowd” for a while. The coolest older crowd I could find consisted of mostly teenagers and young adults, with a few people my parents’ age thrown in the mix.
This crowd was particularly cool because they were going to play croquet.
I grabbed a mallet. It was almost as tall as I was.
I mainly tagged along, watching them play each wicket, occasionally getting someone to let me take a swing at a ball. I felt like the ultimate cool. There was one smart alecky guy in the crowd who kept teasing everyone else. He wasn’t being mean, just tossing out some good-natured heckling when people weren’t playing so well. I had seen characters like him on TV, and I knew just what would get my cool crowd laughing.
The next time he started trash-talking, I raised my mallet in the air and whacked him on the head.
An unsettling thudding noise, as it contacted his cranium. And then.
What I expected: Everyone would laugh, because he was the inept villain, and everyone loves to watch goofy bad guys get hurt! Of course, he would see a few stars and moan “owwww…” but then he’d get up and shrug it off.
What happened: He doubled over in pain, shouted some expletive, and everyone in the group turned on me. “What did you do that for?!” “Oh my God, what possessed you to do that?!” They got my parents, and I was so embarrassed that I shut myself in the downstairs bathroom all day. The poor cut-up got an icepack and a large knot on the head. I wonder how many people he told about his injury.
“Yeah, a little girl with pigtails tried to lobotomize me with a croquet mallet.”
I meant “loner.” I wasn’t a londer. Just so you know. Whatever a londer is, anyway.
You want to say you were about 9, but actually it was just last week. 
Millit the Frail
That was awesome! I would have bought you an ice cream.
I think the weirdest/most dangerous thing TV ever convinced me to do was to watch the movie Pearl Harbor.
I don’t remember exactly how old I was - probably in the 8-9-ish range, and was a big fan of “The Bionic Woman.”
After receiving a pair of roller skates for Christmas, I wanted to recreate some stunt, so I climbed partway up a tree and jumped out, wearing the skates. Sprained my ankle, and feel damn lucky that that was the extent.