Sorry, your logic is lacking. However, I don’t offer my condolences, as it’s no one’s fault but your own.
In the CSI vein, slurp one down everytime the accused is presented with overwhelming evidence against him but still denies his culpability to the bitter end without explaining the how and why because they have been outed.
Continuing in the CSI vein:
Chug every time a detective says “Hey, asshole! Get back to doing CSI work and let me investigate the case!”
Back to 24:
Have a shot when someone eats or drinks something that isn’t poisoned or medication.
The evil plot is foiled and another one isn’t popping up.
Folks at CTU put aside office politics/personal bickering and just do their jobs.
Jack says “I can’t take any more.”
Law & Order: SVU (or any L&O show for that matter)
Drink whenever the first suspect they catch during the show is actually the killer.
Another CSI one:
Drink a shot everytime the investigators link someone to a crime by some minor inconsistency in the evidence and the accused points out an alternative explanation that explains the inconsistency without proving their guilt.
Dude, you’re watching the wrong anime. Try Gundam ZZ. You’d be plastered by the end of ep 1, I think. 
And for Mr Blue Sky, when you said
you said exactly what I’d come into this thread to say. Dernit.
The Simpsons
Take a chug any time that:
- Homer does something intelligent
- Lisa litters
- Miss Hoover teaches without the benefit of her teacher’s edition
- Principal Skinner stands up to his mother
- Comic Book Guy gets laid
- Milhouse does something cool
- Ralph Wiggum says something insightful
- Moe goes out on a date
- Lenny and Karl go out on dates (without each other)
- Ned Flanders commits blashphemy
- Krusty does something altruistic
- Apu takes some time off from the Kwik-E-Mart
- Grandpa gets straight to the point
- Bart cuts Krabappel some slack
Joan of Arcadia
Every time Adam refers to Joan as “Joan”
Every time Grace wears a Nike shirt
Every time the science teacher gives a lecture which has nothing to do with other events in the episode - it’s just a science lecture, not a metaphor
Every time Joan drops a book, and someone comes by to pick it up, she thanks them, and they leave without another word
Enterprise: something interesting happens*
*That doesn’t involve rubbing lotion on half-naked bodies.
Love Boat: Take a swig whenever a guest star appears in a show taped at the peak of his/her career
Three’s Company: Chug the bottle after any episode in which Jack doesn’t pretend to be gay
Green Acres: A healthy sip whenever Lisa makes a meal that Oliver praises as delicious. Also, whenever Haney offers to sell a genuinely useful item.
The Amazing Race:
Any time there’s a clue that’s actually a “clue” and not just explicit instructions on where to go, how to get there, how far it is, etc.
Any time one of the prissy female contestants (Flo, Hayden, Adam, etc.) says, “Oh I love this task! I don’t feel like quitting at all!”
Any time Kendra praises a third world country for its diversity and beauty.
Any time a good-looking female contestant begs for money without flirting.
Any time a good-looking male contestant does something brilliant.
Any time Phil doesn’t psyche out the second-to-last place team by making them think they’re last (or, in a non-elimination round, the last place team by making them think they’re going to be eliminated.)
Any time Rob & Amber get ahead in a leg without the help of someone who recognizes them from Survivor.
Will & Grace–Whenever Grace and/or Karen says anything that isn’t whiny or that actually makes sense.
Whenever Jack does anything that doesn’t scream “LOOK AT ME. I’M GAY!”
Whenever Will starts to question why he hangs out with such a bunch of losers.
Chug the bottle and follow with a Nyquil chaser:
Grace admits she’s a whiner who sabotages her own relationships.
Hell, every time she actually gives a lecture and isn’t just dancing around the class room elliciting buzzwords or streams of logic from students.
Scooby-Doo:
Drink whenever Fred and Daphne believe Scooby and Shaggy about the latter two’s first encounter with the villain monster.
Chug the bottle if the villain turns out to be a genuine supernatural creature.
Another Three’s Comapny: Whenever a show’s plot doesn’t revolve around someone misunderstanding something they accidently overhear.
Dragonball Z
Take a drink everytime:
Goku loses a fight
By the end of the season, Gohan has not been told that he has some hidden potiential to be unleashed.
Someone manages to ‘charge up’ without sounding constipated
Vegeta acts nice
Goku eats a small meal
For the first couple seasons, anytime they mention someone dying (After that, anytime they mention the next dimension)
King Kai makes a funny joke
I believe in some of the more recent made-for-tv type movies, they actually have used genuine supernatural creatures.
Yeah, but those aren’t canon.