TV show lines that have stuck with you for a very long time.

And, if I might add, Rowdy Roddy Piper, “Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions.”

From Cheers:

Eddie walks into the bar.
Sam (to Woody): Get that man a club soda, no ice, red straw (or something like that).
Woody (to Eddie): Is that right?
Eddie: Yes
Woody (to Sam): How did you know?
Sam: He ordered it yesterday.
Woody: I better hurry, then!

Another Cheers:
Norm and Frazier at the bar. Frazier looks sullen and Norm asks what’s wrong.
Frazier (paraphrasing): Lilith is mad at me.
Norm: Oh man. That’s rough. What’s your punishment?
Frazier: I’m not getting any.
Norm: You got off easy.
Frazier, said with emphasis: You don’t understand. I’m not getting any.
Norm: No, you don’t understand. You got off easy.

From “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air”:

  1. Will and Hillary are discussing how her standards in men might be just a bit too high, and Will’s hypothetical response to what Hillary will end up like (you must see rather than read):


It is now common in my house to reference any hypothetical with the comment that "you’ll have an old, raggedy halter top that say “jaaaaam”. And any sort of tic is accompanied by “dum dum didday!”
2) Mama noooooo!

  1. I can feel it! I can feel the power! YES!

“Who’m I? I am Susan Ivanova, Commander. Daughter of Andre and
Sophie Ivanov. I am the Right Hand of Vengence and the boot that is
going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I
am Death Incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going
to see. God sent me.”
What is this from???

Who made you Judge Judy and executioner? - Homer Simpson

Look, if you all are going to start in on Firefly, why not just post links to the scripts of all 13 episodes. It would save time. “Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!” “Why can’t we go to the crappy planet where I’m a hero?” “Him.” “No he doesn’t.” “Plus, I can kill you with my brain.” “Jonah, say hello to your Daddy.”

One from Cheers:

Woody: Oh great, a package of my Aunt Edna’s killer fudge brownies.
Norm: Killers, eh?
Woody: Yeah, the first time she made the recipe my Uncle Ford came running in from the field and got hit by a combine. He hung on for a couple of days…In the end he was just praying to die. Well, eat up!

From the Family Guy,
Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg Meg

I’m sorry but I laugh every frickin time I see that.


From Just Shoot Me

Donnie: My pants are tight!

Babylon 5. Can’t recall the exact episode, but it was prelude to Ivanova kicking ass.

“Tens and twenties.”

Oh, and…

“I’m the Evil Midnight Bomber what bombs at midnight!”

Since you started with Get Smart then all I can say is you “missed it by that much”.

(from Friends) Chandler: I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.

(from How I Met Your Mother) Marshall: (while standing in front of the mirror, extensively rubbing his nipples with petroleum jelly, preparing for marathon training) You look good! Nobody does it better than you!

“Kiss My Grits” Alice

And from Under Siege 2: Assumption is the mother of all fuckups.

Chandler’s sound for whipping: whappah.

Also one episode where Chandler’s having problems getting it up. He goes and talks to Joey, who (apparently) doesn’t really get what Chandler’s talking about. Chandler asks Joey what he does in the same situation, and Joey answers: “I just do it anyway”. :slight_smile:

**Back to the Future: **Helloooo, McFly…

From the Drew Carey Show, the episode where Kate wants to sing for the band, and fails cluelessly & miserably, and boyfriend Oswald tries to stick up for her:

DC: It’s our instruments. They’re out of tune. [glaring at Oswald] Horribly, horribly, out of tune.
Oswald: But they mean well.
Kate: Well, tune 'em up!
DC: Can’t. We’re out of … tuning wax.
Friends, the “Jeopardy” game:

Ross: What does Monica say is her favorite movie?
Joey & Chandler: Dangerous Liaisons!
Ross: What is it really?
J&C: Weekend at Bernies II!!

From Lost, one of the Hurley flashback episodes. Hurley’s mother is berating him for his laziness:

In our house, our reaction to unexpected phone calls frequently is, “Must be Jesus, asking us what color car we want.” and we’re Jewish, we don’t generally use that name. But the line really stuck with us.

You left off the best part:

“We’re going to have to take them to a tunesmith.”

Get Smart, last half of routine between Max and Agent Larabee about making clothing out of food. I forget the rest.

But what would hold the brar* up?


*Native New Yorkese vowel elision. Actual word is bra.

“That was the worst sound I’ve ever heard”

“Have you ever tried re-starting a car with a sleeping cat on the manifold?”


“Then yeah, yeah that was the worst sound you’ve ever heard”

Man Drew Carey had some funny lines.