TV show lines that have stuck with you for a very long time.

Back to the thread…

From Get Smart (Yes, I have the series on DVD. :smiley: ):

‘Sorry about that, Chief.’
‘Missed it by that much!’
‘If only he’d used his genius for niceness instead of evil.’
‘Zis is KAOS! We don’t [sound] here!’
‘That’s the second biggest [thing] I’ve ever seen!’
‘Oh, Max!’
The old […] trick!

I hear you, Johnny L.A. and maybe you can appreciate an expression I picked up many years ago from a Peter Pan type: “I used to grow up…” as opposed to “I grew up…” It has a certain panache, no?

Going back further than Buffy, about the only things I can remember are Blanche from the Golden Girls saying “I’m jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.” And Marcia from The Brady Bunch saying, “Oh, my nose.” Not too much stuck with me over the years, I suppose.

I need to watch something by Groucho now–“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”

Two from Taxi:

Reverend Jim: “Yeah, boss?”

Latka, planning to return to his homeland as a general and having the military situation in his explained to him: “You can kiss my yaktabe.”

The *I, Claudius *quotes remind me of one of my favoite Cheers exchanges. Sam and Diane and Frasier and Lilith have been spending an evening together. Diane and Lilith keep alternately storming off to lock themselves in the bathroom over various revelations, forcing the men to stand at the door apologizing and begging them to come out.

Finally, they both lock themselves in the bathroom at the same time, and Frasier takes out the bathroom key and locks them both in from the outside. As the women pound on the door, the men have the following exchange:

Frasier: “What do you say we go upstairs? I’ve got all thirteen episodes of ‘I, Claudius’ on tape.”
Sam: “Great. I love gladiator flicks.”

Every year at Thanksgiving, my family gathers at my mother’s house (or more recently, one of the sib’s house) and without fail, one of my brothers will say, in their best Marge Simpson voice: “You brought food! You KNEW I was cooking a turkey!” and without missing a beat, someone else will reply in their best Patty/Selma voice: “Well Marge, some people tend to find your turkeys a little dry. This way, they have an alternative!” It never fails.

Also from the Simpsons - Homer: “Marge, you being a cop makes you the MAN of the house, which makes me the WOMAN of the house. And I have no interest in that - except for occasionally wearing your underwear which as we’ve discussed is strictly a comfort thing.”

From Cheers - Diane: “Sam Malone I hate you with the white hot passion of a thousand burning suns!”

From Doctor Who - Doctor #4 (after just materializing in a hostile, alien jungle planet): “I think that this is not Benidorm.”

From Star Trek: TOS - Space Bimbo: “Brain and brain! What IS brain??”

Star Trek: TNG - “Shut up, Wesley!”

From the Carol Burnett Show (as they sat down to play the game “Sorry.”:

Eunice: “Pick a color, Mama.”
Mama: “I don’t care. You pick.”
(Long iteration where Mama declares she doesn’t care what color and finally Eunice picks yellow."

Mama (glaring at Eunice): “You know I like yeller.”

Eunice (singing): Feelings. Woah-woah-woah feelings…

Batman and Robin are tied up in a frying pan type contraption about to be fried by the baking sun:
Robin: Holy Oleo

Catwoman: I didn’t know you could yodel.

Oh! Don’t forget:

<while ringing the bell> “Sorrrrr-yyyyyy!!!”

We keep a little hand bell in our Sorry game now. :smiley:

How did I forget the classic “There’s your answer, fishbulb!” from the Mr. Sparkle episode of The Simpsons?

And of course the lines that immediately follow:
Homer: Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. Come on kids, let’s go home.
Bart: We are home.
Homer: That was fast.

My dad uses that “let’s go home” line at least 1 in 5 times that we’re home at the same time. Don’t ask me why.

Jean-Luc Picard: “There are four lights!”
From The Simpsons, way back in the early '90s:

Homer at the post office, attempting to retrieve a nasty letter he’d written to his boss but then had second thoughts about:

Homer: “Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.”
Clerk: Sure thing, Mr. Burns. What’s your first name?"
Homer: “I don’t know.”

The episode where Marge got arrested for shoplifting:

Nelson: “Ha ha! Your mom’s a jailbird!”
Bart: “So’s yours.”
Nelson: “Oh yeah! Let’s play!”

And the episode where Lisa got a pony, forcing Homer to take a second job at the Kwik-E-Mart to pay for the upkeep. Lisa finally agrees to give up the pony, and Homer can quit the second job. He quits the job and then dances gleefully away down the street, and Apu is watching him go (I probably don’t have the exact wording here, but it’s the “idea” that matters):

“He was always late, he slept on the job, he stole from me, and was rude to my customers. There goes the best damned employee I ever had.”
Herman’s Head:

Heddy Newman: “Herman, do you think this skirt is too tight?”
Herman: “Not if you’ve been shot in the ass and you’re trying to stop the bleeding.”

Herman’s Anxiety: “Condoms? I brought mustard and relish!”

Louise, angrily slamming the phone down: “Oooo! That jerk said I sound like that Lisa Simpson character!” (Louise was played by Yeardley Smith, who provides Lisa Simpson’s voice).
WKRP:

Jennifer is dating a macho guy named “Steel”, and is introducing him to a coworker:

Steel, offering a handshake: “Name’s Steel. I think a man’s name says a lot about what kind of man he is. What was your name again?”

“… Les.”

The male station employees are all trying out their best pickup lines on Jennifer, and she’s blowing them all off. Finally she turns to Les:

Jennifer: “So what’s your pickup line?”
Les: “I’m extremely wealthy.”

And Jennifer leaves arm-in-arm with Les :smiley:

Barney Miller. Wojo and Yemana are talking about dying. I don’t remember who said what.

'Don’t worry about it. It’s just like falling asleep.
‘I’m an insomniac.’

I remembered one from Frasier, something like–

Daphne, “I can buy a pack of cigarettes, have one or two, and put them away and not think about them for months.”

Bebe, “There’s a word for people who can do that, what was it? Oh, yes, bitch.”

From the British series, Coupling.

(Sally thinks she’s pregnant)
Sally: Oh my god, a small alien is going to crawl out of me and destroy my life…and my mother will side with it!


Jane: I don’t like to label everything in my medicine cabinet. You’d never have any surprises.


Patrick: Sometimes a man is faced with the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do. And he only misses by one.

From H:LoTS:

Bayliss: You never say please. You never say thank you.

Pembleton: Please don’t be an idiot. Thank you.

I had to add–

“Don’t you ever lie to me like I’m Montel Williams! I am NOT Montel Williams!”

From “The Chris Isaak Show” - “I don’t need a lawyer to do the job of a two by four.” (I believe he was discussing a situation with his clueless cousin who always seemed to do the wrong thing - at this point he had cut a deal with a local chicken place to do a version of Chris’ song “Baby Did a Bad, Bad Thing” as “They Do a Bad, Bad Wing” without consulting Chris).

It’s a crying shame this show isn’t out on DVD - for a while there, it was the funniest thing on tv for adults.

PICARD: Good Lord, didn’t anyone else here build ships in bottles when they were boys?

WORF: I did not play with toys.

DATA: I was never a boy.

Jim: Do you know horses don’t sleep lying down?

Alex: Really?

Jim: Yeah. They sleep on their backs with their legs in the air like this.

Sometimes I think that I just don’t get a lot of american humour, but then I remeber such classics as Cheers and this…

Woody: Boy, Dr. Sternin-Crane having an affair with another guy. This reminds me of a terrible scandal we had back in Hanover, rocked the whole town to its core. Mayor’s wife ran off with old Mr. Smithers.
Frasier: Well, that’s not so scandalous, Woody.
Woody: Well, Mr. Smithers was a goat.