Possibly from the same episode:
The intellectual cop gives a long-winded speech about how Buddhism makes the Asians philosophical about, and accepting of, death.
Yemana turns to Wojo and says, “I’m going kicking and screaming, myself.”
Not a TV show, exactly, but:
“One … tuwooo … a-thrrrree. A-thrrrree.”
Star Trek
Scotty: “I can’t get another warp out of her sir!”
Bones: “Damn it Jim, I’m a doctor not a …!”
Outer Limits
Main character:“I won’t do any job that demeans me.”
Alien: “Does the job demean the man or the man the job?”
Three lines that always come to my mind when I think of Worf from Next Generation.
Attempting to make small talk in someone’s home.
“Nice house.” pause “Good tea.”
After having to pretend to be captain to trick some klingons who thought the war was still going on, someone (Geordi I think) asks him how it felt to be captain.
thinks for a moment “Comfortable chair.”
He has to watch Data’s cat for some reason, and Data is giving him detailed instructions on what the cat does and doesn’t like.
“I shall feed it.”
Any line from the Frasier episode “Ham Radio”. I have watched a LOT of TV in my day this is, far and away, the funniest 22 minutes ever broadcast, and probably ever will be (I dare someone who has seen this Frasier ep (and there are YouTube clips of the whole episode) to name me something funnier.
As I said, almost any line from the episode works, some of my faves:
“Sound of people changing Wings to Wangs”
“Chinese embassy on line 1!!”
“Look out! He’s got a nug!”
“Would you two mind standing back to back, I’m running out of bullets. [pop] Thank you!”
“mupipow mururur”
“Hello, it’s the ice cream man!”
Being a comedian myself, I often have a pretty high threshhold for things that make me laugh (I can find something funny, but I usually don’t express it much - at least I blame it on my performing comedy). But every time I see this, I am always rolling on the floor laughing with tears streaming down my face. Comedy gold, people.
In Get Smart, Max drinks some formula that imprints a map to some secret location on his back and two Kaos agents are arguing about what’s on it.
Agent 1: That looks like a mountain.
Agent 2: No, that’s a mole.
Agent 1: I’m telling you, that’s a mountain right there.
Agent 2: And I’m telling you it’s not. Stop making a mountain out of a mole.
There was an episode of Barney Miller where some of the regulars ate brownies that someone had brought into the stationhouse, not realizing that they contained pot (or hashish), and had interestingly stoned reactions.
Yemana: “What do you say we guys go down to the beach, and shoot some clams?”
Mrs. J. and I still occasionally greet each other at Xmas time with the classic jaded Kojak response when a fellow officer wishes him a Merry Xmas:
“Jingle bells, Frank.”
Tiny nitpick: I believe it was, “I almost forgot, fellow babies–Booger!”
From the same episode, Yamana describing the brownies when dunked in his coffee: “Moooshy, moooshy.”
OK, not a line I particularly find “funny” (although “amusing” could cover it, if it wasn’t overused in the series to the point of “catchphrase”) but I find myself using it so often that it should be shared.
“I’m so happy, I could do the dance of joy!”
Bonus points if you can identify speaker and sitcom.
Balki Bartokomous in Perfect Strangers
More bonus points if you can sing the song and do the “dance” that accompanies it.
You win if you do the song and dance when you use the phrase in real life. (I do.)
And also “sang” to Captain Miller, “Barney, Barney, is your mother from Killarney?”
I love The Cosby Show. And just reading that made me laugh and laugh.
I always think of him and ‘don’t be ree-dick-u-lous.’
My favorite lines include:
BtVS
Buffy: “beer foamy.”
Bad Willow: “bored now.”
Anya: “Thank you. Please Go.”
Spike: (told to reply in 5 words or less.) “Out. for. a. walk. (pause) bitch.”
Lots of Cheers and MASH* on here, so:
“What’s shakin’, Mr. Peterson?”
“All four cheeks and a couple of chins.”
“Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake’s plane was shot down over the sea of Japan. It spun in. There were no survivors.”
One from Futurama which I still like to use:
Prof Farnsworth: We’ll have the answer soon enough
Fry: That’s not soon enough!
Is my memory faulty, or didn’t Fish also run around chasing somebody across rooftops after eating his brownie?
Speaking of which:
“Maybe I’ll put it in her brownie.” - Arrested Development
And the line from The Sopranos that cracked me up was:
“Fuck you, Santa!” (close second goes to Silvio, when they were having an intervention for Chris and he ended his description of Chris’s drunken behavior with “…fuckin’ disgusting.”)
From WKRP:
Les is reading a sports report and pronouces Chi Chi Rodriguez as CH-eye CH-eye Rod-u-geez. Johnny: Les, what is the name of those little mexican dogs?
Les: You mean a Cha-who-ah-who-ah?
ST:TNG
Worf: Ahhh, prune juice, the drink of warriors.
And from Seinfeld:
'Hello, NEWMAN."
‘Master of his domain.’
‘Shrinkage.’
‘No soup for you!’
‘Is he sponge-worthy?’
ST: TNG
Worf: Captain, I must protest. I am NOT a merry man!
The Simpsons:
Stupid sexy Flanders.
Frasier:
Maris wanted to become a ballerina, but she couldn’t gain enough weight.
Star Trek TNG:
(Riker) Nice suit.
(Worf) Thank you.