One I try to use as often as possible from Futurama:
Bender got shot out into space with no hope of returning to Earth so he is just floating through space. After some aliens land on him and consider him God and then they destroy themselves Bender is talking to a talking galaxy and he is telling the galaxy about how he was God once.
The galaxy responds: “Yes, you were doing well until everyone died.”
(Twilight Zone):
“YOU ARE…OBSOLETE.”
“You’re a BAD man! You’re a VERY BAD MAN!”
“It’s… it’s a cookbook”!
“My name is Talky Tina and I’m going to kill you.”
“From a fable you once heard in childhood.” (TOS - The Cage)
“There was a Kangaroo…in my living room.” (Family Ties)
I have on more than one occasion ordered a Screaming Viking. (And on more than one occasion gotten the proper response from the bartender).
The Tick: I don’t know the meaning of the word “surrender”. I mean, I know it, I’m not dumb… just not in this context.
The Tick: Villains, I say to you now, knock off all that evil!
El Seed: And what kind of corn soldiers are you?
Arthur: We’re colonels!
The Evil Midnight Bomber: Yeah, baby, yeah! I’m the Midnight Bomber what bombs at midnight!
“Up ya nose wit’ a rubber hose.”
More from Barney Miller -
(Harris has lost his apartment and has been staying with Dietrich, who is (of course) getting on his nerves):
Harris: “Barney, he has things growing all over the apartment!”
Barney: “Well, lots of people grow plants and stuff.”
Harris: “Barney…he grows wheat!”
ST:TNG
Picard [to Riker]: … if I find that that trust has been misplaced, I will have to re-evaluate the command structure of this ship.
Wings
The Trivial Pursuit scene where Roy has promised to be nice. Lowell and Roy are teammates and Lowell insists on blurting out the answer “Ann Margaret” to each question because he knows “Ann Margaret is the answer to one of these questions.” Roy finally explodes in anger and switches teammates, but the answer to his next question is … Ann Margaret.
From Cosby Show:
“Dr Huxtable, my name’s not Bud.”
DS9, Major Kira Nerys:
Remington Steele, to Miss Holt: "Well, you certainly taught that road a lesson it won’t soon forget. "
A favorite in our family:
Homer Simpson: “The dolphins just wanted it more…”
And what is to me the classic for this category: “Be there, Aloha.”
That one really impressed me because by 10 yrs after the show ended, when they showed it in re-runs, at least on my local stations, they never included Jack Lord’s preview of the following episode at the end, which he always ended with that line. Yet folks still remember the line.
Homer Simpson: “You can use statistics to prove anything. 41% of all people know that.”
From Night Court:
Harry Stone: Bull, how could you lose a dead Japanese industrialist?
Bull (sheepishly): He outsmarted me, sir.
Harry: Outsmarted?? Bull, a corpse is a corpse!
Dan: Of course, of course.
Hearing this in my mind’s ear from decades ago means that this one had to be stored nearby in my brain:
Of all the spokespeople for various brands of cigarettes, Dale Robertson is most memorable. He strides into the scene beside a decent looking horse and declares to any and all: “That’s Jubilee. That’s MY horse. And this is Pall Mall, MY cigarette.”
You could almost hear the corn popping.
Okay, whose cigarette ads top this one?
From Frasier, when Niles was keeping a flour-sack “baby” to find out if he’s suitable for parenthood:
“Last night I actually had a dream my flour sack was abducted and the kidnappers started sending me muffins in the mail.”
From The Tick:
“Laxative log? Four yaks and a dog? Susan?”
“Now you’re doing it on purpose. How juvenile.”
“The little bunny guy was chafing, so I let him go.”
From House:
One of House’s three underlings: “We’ve got anal bleeding!”
House: “What, *all *of you?”
From Father Ted:
Dougal: “It had the body of a spider, and the mind of a baby.”
Ted: “How do you know it’s a baby, and not just a spider?”
Dougal: “They had it in a pram.”
Ted: “Oh, Father Jack! Not Toilet Duck again!”
From ER:
Benton [noticing a hickey] “Carter, you have a hematoma on your neck.”
From Star Trek.
“This is Kang. Cease hostilities.”
Worf’s line here, and Q’s response.
Another one from Night Court:
Harry: I read that the Detroit Lions have a new stadium. They got a dome, Mac.
Mac: Isn’t that a breath of fresh air, sir?
Harry: Now you can have the Lions hosting the Chicago Bears at the new stadium. Then across town the Detroit baseball team could be playing. Then you know who’s all playing at once? Lions and Tigers and Bears.
Mac: Oh my!
From the Sopranos episode “From Where To Eternity.” Christopher is shot and is clinically dead for a minute. Upon waking, he asks to talk to Tony and Paulie:
Christopher: I’m going to hell, T.
Tony: You’re not going anywheres but home.
Christopher: I crossed over to the other side.
Tony: You what?
Christopher: I saw the tunnel. And the white light. I saw my father in hell.
Paulie: Get the fuck outta here!
Christopher: And the bouncer said that I’d be there, too, when my time comes.
Paulie: What bouncer?
Christopher: The Emerald Piper. That’s our hell. It’s an Irish bar where it’s St. Patrick’s Day every day forever.
More MAS*H:
Major Houlihan is introducing Hawkeye and BJ to a visiting general:
Houlihan: “These are Captains Pierce…”
Hawkeye: “…and these are Captains Hunnicut.”
Cheers,
Diane to Sam, after a spat, “I hate you with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns!”
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Spam! Spam! Spam! Spam!
This is an ex-parrot!
Albatross!