Jayne: ‘You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I beat you with until you know who’s in ruttin’ command’.
Kaylee: ‘Yes sir, Cap’n Tight-pants’
Simon: I’m very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows
Zoe: You sanguine about the kind of reception we’re apt to receive on an Alliance ship, Cap’n?
Mal: Absolutely. [pauses] What’s “sanguine” mean?
Zoe: “Sanguine”. Hopeful. Plus, point of interest: it also means “bloody”.
Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don’t it?
Mal: Well, my days of not taking you seriously are certainly comin’ to a middle.
And of course my favorite:
Mal: Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big damn heroes, sir.
There was a show on during the 90s called Raven, which was about some retired super-spy guy who did good deed in Hawaii or something. His partner was the bionic man. Anyhow, the only line worth remembering from that series was when the Raven had someone over a barrel to get what he wanted, either by beating them or torturing them or just taking what he wanted with some flashy martial arts. Then he’d say “See how easy life can be?”
This exchange always seemed to encapsulate wisdom: Richie and Fonzie are talking; Richie is bedeviled by a bully and is trying to figure out how to fight him and win.
“Fonzie, what would you do if you were in my situation?”
Fr. Ted (gesturing between a group of small toy cows on the table, and a herd of actual cows outside the window): These are very small. Those are far away . . .
Dougal: Shakes his head gently, confused and uncomprehending.
I have tried a hundred times to convey the humor and profundity of this to people who have never seen the show - I’m convinced it can’t be done. It was just good television.
Bishop Facks: So, Father. Do you ever have any doubts about the religious life? Is your faith ever tested? Anything you would be worried about? Any doubts you’ve been having about any aspects of belief? Anything like that?
Father Dougal: Well, you know the way God made us all, right? And he’s looking down at us from heaven and everything?
Bishop Facks: Uh-huh. [nods]
Father Dougal: And then his son came down and saved everyone and all that?
Bishop Facks: Yes.
Father Dougal: And when we die we’re all going to go to heaven?
Bishop Facks: Yes. What about it?
Father Dougal: Well, that’s the bit I have trouble with.
Actually, it’s the last line that sticks with me; but you have to know what it refers to.
.