I can’t tell if that’s the easiest job in the world or impossible because he won’t accept the obvious truth.
How did King Saul manage to get an Ewok?
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Duck and Run, 
& 
I wonder if he’s using the same investigators that Trump sent to Hawaii to find Obama’s real birth certificate.
Don’t laugh. Their report is going to be ready in two weeks.
“Kids, what we have right here is the classic warning of what happens to your brain when you do drugs.”
You joke but clearly Lucas took that name out of the Bible. Lucas grabbed names for stuff from anywhere. Tataouine is a city in Tunisia, and Lucas filmed the scenes on Tatooine in the original film in various locations in Tunisia. Also, the Ewoks are named after the Miwok people who were indigenous to where Lucas lives in California.
Compared to the mega-projects he helmed when 45 was in power, Jared should be able to run this thing with one brain lobe tied behind his back.
My totally untrained WAG is his addictive predisposition has latched upon a different set of neuroreceptor stimuli – about being “close to power” and about knowing “The Truth”. And like a classic addict, he’s letting sating the urge wreck his legit work and fortune.
This is your every relative who has been sucked into the social media addiction rabbit hole, but with money and a public presence.
MyPillow products no longer available on Costco website.
So who believes that this guy “used to” smoke crack? I mean, it might be true in the Mitch Hedberg sense: I used to, but I still do, too.
He should switch to selling multi-level marketing schemes, or gold certificates or healing water or whatever else it is that the idiot rubes are buying from his fellow grifters.
You don’t have to posit drug use to explain his behavior. This looks to me like essentially the secular equivalent of a religious conversion. Of course he’s going to be all gung-ho about it. Many people pick up a new hobby or a new cause with extreme gusto and enthusiasm. It often doesn’t last, but while it does, it’s all they can talk about.
Having essentially lost his company his celebrity, such as it is, is now all he has left as a revenue scheme.
And anyone who’s been paying attention to the last 10-15 years of internet celebrity knows that you can’t fall out of the public eye for even a minute and expect to climb back in. Too many other crabs in that bucket. So you’ve gotta keep tap dancing every minute of every day.
“I was all fucked up on drugs. Then I found Jesus. Now I’m all fucked up on Jesus.”
"Then I found Trump…"Preformatted text
Jeff Bezos is trembling in fear.
You misspelled “shaking with laughter” there…
“Freedom flags”? “Donald the Caveman Drains the Swamp”? “Uncommon USA Flagpole”? I’ve seen more plausible products on the Obvious Plant website.
And yet many rubes will undoubtedly flock (or at least mosey) to it.
Hell, I’d feel safer and more confident shopping at Omega Mart.