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I lost my virginity to a now famous actress. She was one of my students when I was a teaching assistant. Not only did she dump me soon afterwards, but when I tried to talk to her at a public appearance she did many years later, she pretended not to remember me and her bodyguard nearly slugged me.
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I was county champ in my weight class in high school wrestling. Indeed, I pinned all my opponents in the first period.
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I was the subject (well, one of the subjects) of an article in 1973 in Playboy. The article was about the efforts of me and others (a year and a half earlier) in the fight against a kind of discrimination that never got as much notice as racism or sexism. Articles about my efforts appeared in many newspapers at that time.
Okay, guesses first:
Zette: 2
Bricker: 3
Arnold: already told
Frankie: 2
Mullinator: 1
StoryTyler: 1
John: 3
Burn: 1
Triple Ant: 3
Catrandom: 3
Trout: 2
APB: 3
NTG: A3 and B1
Lexicon: 3
Chef Troy: 1
Opal: 3
- Kat hasn’t watched TV in over a month.
- Kat still has her Christmas tree up.
- Kat has never seen The Princess Bride.
#2 for Wendell Wagner, methinks.
Here are my guesses.
Zette: #1
Bricker: #3
Falcon: #3
Mullinator: #2
StoryTyler: #1
John Corrado: #2
BurnMeUp: #2
TripleAnt: #3
Catrandom: #3
TroutMask Replica: #1
APB: #3
Neurotrashgrrl: #A3, B2
Lexicon: #2
Chef Troy: #3
Beatle: #2
Wendell Wagner: #2
Kat: #3
Here are my three:
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Shadowfox drove from Michigan to Florida in a Ford POS with $50 in her pocket, on a whim.
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Shadowfox once walked into a known crack dealer’s house and dragged her husband out of the house by his ear, while two drug dealers stood on the porch, pointing their guns at her.
-
Shadowfox crashed into a concrete barrier on the freeway while cruising at 70 miles an hour and walked away with only a small bump on her forehead.
Shadowfox
“Distinguished” Sexy assistant to Head Honcho,
Self-Righteous Clique
(reposted from the original thread)
Majormd:
- Ran out of a trailer house nude one night.
- Won the 200 meter Butterfly at the Big Eight women’s swimming championships in 1978.
- Won $30,000 in a contest.
So far,
Diane has guessed #3 is a lie.
Okay most of you guys have gotten it right.
-
TripleAnt did get a football signed by the NY Jets football game because he had a surgery similar to one of the players
-
Tim Allen did come into the computer store my brother worked at and my bro sold him a computer
-
No I did not talk to Tom Hanks, would be cool though.
NEW ONES
1). TripleAnt has lived in 4 different states and is getting ready to move to a 5th one.
2). TripleAnt’s user name is modeled after a wrestler
3). TripleAnt plays football in college
“The idea of a walk-in closet sounds frightening. If I’m ever sittin’ at home and a closet walks in, I’m gettin’ outta there.” ~George Carlin
Sorry, type happy, it should have read from the NY Jets Football TEAM, not game, it don’t make sense that way
Lies:
Zette - 2 once drank 13 shots of tequila
Bricker - 2 once had a sexual relationship with a mother AND daughter, although not at the same time.
Frankie - 3. was once rebuffed by Barry Sanders in a bar.
Mullinator - 2 restricted his dating to cheerleaders due to his status as high school big man on campus.
BurnMeUp - 1 once had a blind date who turned out to be the sister of a married women he dated once and found out when the married woman and her prison inmate husband were the second party on the double date
Story Tyler - 1 actually likes Cheez Whiz.
John Corrado - 1 was kicked out of Switzerland.
TripleAnt - 3 once talked to Tom Hanks because he dialed the wrong number.
Catrandom - 1 totaled four cars in five years.
Trout Mask Replica has - 1 has thrown snowballs at a police car.
Neuro-trash grrrl - A3 has never double-posted AND B2 has not gotten laid in over a year and a half.
Lexicon - 2) Been fired over (at least?) 16 times, from the same place for different reasons each time.
Chef Troy - 2 Chef Troy was once asked, because of his physical appearance, to impersonate the Emperor of Japan at a series of public appearances over a period of about four weeks.
OpalCat’s site - 2 was on Fox Files
beatle - 3 was 1-A with a lottery # of 52 in 1972 and didn’t get called up for service
Wendall Wagner - 2 was county champ in my weight class in high school wrestling. Indeed, I pinned all my opponents in the first period.
Kat - 3 has never seen The Princess Bride.
Shadowfox - 2 once walked into a known crack dealer’s house and dragged her husband out of the house by his ear, while two drug dealers stood on the porch, pointing their guns at her.
Sue from El Paso
Siamese Attack Puppet - Texas
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
OK! Time OUT!
I think that the threads get out of control after this point, so lets stop posting new truths/lies and just confess our lies. When everyone is done, we’ll start a new thread. That way it’s easier to handle.
I’ll start with me:
Zette once dated a member of the Miami Dolphins ** LIE ** (although I’ve dated plenty of men who LOOKED like football players 
Zette once drank 13 shots of tequila
** TRUE! ** At my bachelorette party, I drank 13 shots of Cuervo Tequila. It was a crazy, crazy night- I even got to bring home the bottle I killed. I don’t recommend this to anyone. Ever.
Zette drives a motorcycle
** TRUE! ** A few years ago, my friend Cindy and I took a bike driving class and got our licenses. I don’t ride much, however, due to some back problems.
NEXT!!!
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
Not enough and you’re gonna die…
Click here for some GOOD news for a change Zettecity
Fessing up time.
-
Mullinator has spent about an hour debating the NBA’s illegal defense with Kevin Costner - True. He was in town filming a movie, came and watched our game against Duke, and visited the locker room afterwards. He somehow ended up by my locker, we started chatting and ended up talking about the NBA for approx an hour.
-
Mullinator restricted his dating to cheerleaders due to his status as high school big man on campus. - False While I was one of the more recognizable people in our school, I never dated a cheerleader, mainly due to my lack of respect for them. Some were nice and did it because they liked the sport, but most did it to look cute and pick up guys. My goal was to find a way to dive for a loose ball each game and knock at least 1 over. My record was 4.
-
Mullinator once cut off the electricity to his high school while working as a teacher’s aide. True, albeit accidentally. Imagine hanging a metal handled flyswatter off of a plug-in, and then plugging it in just to see what it would do. Result, the schools power went out for about 1 hour. The sparks and tingling sensation lasted almost as long.
Have you voted for your favorite, huggable Mullinator today?
TRUE I was a civilian Air Force brat and lived in Arkansas for a while when my dad was sent TDY. The military set up 6 families in trailers out in the middle of a peanut farm and near the foothills of the Ozarks. There was a family of hillbillies who lived in a shack in the woods about a half of a mile into the woods. Their appearance and mannerism was straight out of Deliverance but without the violence.
We used to hike into the woods and buy fresh milk, eggs, and butter from them. Eventually, us kids became quite good friends with the children.
TRUE My mother is currently serving on the jury of a capital murder case. The Dopers who live in Utah (Byz, Snark, etc.) will probably recognize the case of a guy accused of hiring a hitman to kill his wife.
My mom isn’t able to talk about the case at all but she has said that it is emotionally the hardest thing she has ever had to do.
FALSE They don’t call me the Macaroni and Cheese Queen for nothin!
You better be nice or I’ll sic my lackeys on ya.
1.) SwimmingRiddles was voted Class Extremist in high school. She lobbied for this extensively.
2.) SwimmingRiddles once passed out due to excessive drinking, and woke up in police lockup.
3.) SwimmingRiddles first date was with a drug dealer.
Habit rules the unreflecting herd. - Wordsworth
Okay, confession time.
-
Shadowfox drove from Michigan to Florida in a Ford POS with $50 in her pocket, on a whim. - TRUE. This happened when I was 15. My parents tried to forbid me from seeing my boyfriend, so we ran away together. We got as far as Florida before the car died and we ended up having to call our parents for bus fare to get back. I ended up in the youth home for two weeks for this little stunt.
-
Shadowfox once walked into a known crack dealer’s house and dragged her husband out of the house by his ear, while two drug dealers stood on the porch, pointing their guns at her. - TRUE AND FALSE. I say both because I actually did drag my husband (now ex-) out of a crack house once. The lie was about the two goons with the guns.
-
Shadowfox crashed into a concrete barrier on the freeway while cruising at 70 miles an hour and walked away with only a small bump on her forehead. - TRUE. I was driving a really crappy truck with all kinds of things wrong with it. I was cruising down the highway at 2 a.m., after having just left work, when the car suddenly lurched, spun around 180 degrees and slammed sideways into the outer concrete barrier. I had just enough time to get out of the car before it burst into flames. Fortunately, the only other car around was driving about 50 feet behind me, so I didn’t hit anybody else. The guy told me that the axle literally fell off the car. The fireman found the drive shaft in the middle of the freeway about 20 yards before where the vehicle ended up. Miraculously, I only had a small bump on my forehead and a scraped knee, and I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt!
Shadowfox
“Distinguished” Sexy assistant to Head Honcho,
Self-Righteous Clique
Time to confess!
#1 is true. When I was in college in Boston a couple of years ago, we got over a foot of snow in one night. I and what must have been at least 100 other people were outside having a snowball fight. One of the campus police cars drove by and a bunch of us started throwing snowballs at it. We booked as soon as the cop got out, though.
#2 is true. I was on vacation in Pismo Beach, CA, where there’s a store that sells cricket lollipops, tequila lollies with the worm in them, etc. Let’s just say that someone bet I couldn’t eat a cricket pop and that I was also very drunk at the time. 
#3 is false. I was at a show where he cursed out someone in the crowd, but it wasn’t me.
–
TMR
OK… some catching up to do:
Frankie: Dennis Rodman
Mullinator: (I swear I guessed cheerleaders before I read your answer)
StoryTyler: graffiti
John C.: Switzerland
BurnMeUp: the Hyundai
T. Ant: football
Catrandom: Tommy Lee
TroutMask: eating a cricket (eww!)
Neuro Trash: No foreign countries
Lexicon: Fired multiple times
Chef Troy: lesbian sex
Opal: CNN
Beatle: airplane
Wendell: wrestler
Kat: Princess Bride (everyone has seen it)
Shadowfox: car crash
Swimming Riddles: police lockup
Majormd: the $30K (I am having too much fun imagining to want to pick #1 as false!)
Congrats to beatle, Kat, and Shadowfox, who intuitively realized that I sing in the key of off. Although I love all sorts of music, and am a big opera fan, I could no more sing Don Jose than I could fly.
Amazingly enough, #1 is true. Short version of the story: when I was a teenager, I worked part time for a guy who did cable installations in houses. I was at a house working when the lady of the house, recently divorced, and I got togetehr. It lasted less than a week, she gave me a nice little speech about how this was a page in our book of memories but now the page had to be turned, etc. Fast forward to three years later - I’m in school, meet this girl, we go out, we connect, life is good… she invites me to her house for Thanksgiving dinner… we drive there together… I had been there before. It was a nightmare. Her mom and I (obviously) knew what was going on but didn’t say anything, except for about a three second interlude when her mom grabbed me so hard by the forearm it left bruises and hissed, “YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, UNDERSTAND?” Anyway, I broke up with the girl soon after, never saying anything.
Also true is #2 - I was put on academic suspension at the end of my freshman year and missed a year (fortunately, due to AP credits, I had about a half year’s head start). I had a real problem adjusting to the freedom of college when I first got there, and only attended the classes I liked. This was not conducive to good grades in the other classes. This got fixed after I went back to school on my own nickel.
- Rick
And now, the answers:
Chef Troy was once asked, because of his physical appearance, to impersonate the Emperor of Japan at a series of public appearances over a period of about four weeks. TRUE. The public appearances in question were performances of Gilbert & Sullivan’s The Mikado, in which I portrayed the title character. It’s a role that requires a certain, ah… physical presence (i.e. big and fat), and the opera company hadn’t found anyone as of the day rehearsals were to begin. The musical director was a classmate of mine, she remembered my size and speaking voice, asked me if I could sing and the next thing I knew, it was ave, Imperator! Hope no one feels misled.
Chef Troy once shared a table in a restaurant with two lesbians he had just met; hot sweaty sex followed, in which Chef Troy took enthusiastic part. TRUE. Again, I may have left a few things out. Also at the table was my newlywed bride. We were required to share the table at K Paul’s, Paul Prudhomme’s restaurant in New Orleans, while on our honeymoon. The aforementioned sex was with Mrs. Chef. (the lesbians may have also had sex that night, but it wasn’t with us.)
Chef Troy was once pulled on stage to sing backup with Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. FALSE. Never met the man. Never heard the band.
Congratulations to Shadowfox for being the only one to get it right.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Ok time for confessions…--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#1 Burn once had a blind date who turned out to be the sister of a married women he dated once and found out when the married woman and her prison inmate husband were the second party on the double date
TRUE Yes as springeriffic as it sounds this one actually happened.
#2 Burn once broke a tooth in the act of lovemaking in a hyundai and kept on going, swallowing blood and bits of tooth for 20 more minutes.
True! Well what can I say, a sex maniac who is a bit of a masochist can put up with almost anything for a hot little high school chick. (Note: the Hyundai was not mine it was hers)
#3 Burn once had sex on the balcony of a hotel in Salt Lake City overlooking the Mormon temple with a Daughter of a Mormon Bishop
False The girl was not the daughter of a mormon bishop.
No one guessed mine… what do I win?
If you feel that you must suffer, then plan your suffering carefully–as you choose your dreams, as you conceive your ancestors.
Glitch’s Self Defense Past:
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Glitch had his leg broken by a metal pipe, and still fought off his assailant.
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Glitch has actually used a pair of sai in self defense.
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Glitch was once attacked by a tree and had to use his board breaking ability to free himself (just kidding). In your face, Mr. Miyagi.
the real #3) Glitch has dodged, in a real fight, a blow coming completely from behind.
Glitch’s Other Amusing Events:
-
Glitch used to make money selling high scores to people in video arcades.
-
Glitch was one of the people who fought (and lost) to Sosai Oyama during Oyama’s 100 man kumite.
-
Glitch was once the prime suspect in a burglary case.
Ok Ill fess up…Catrandom and The good MajorMD got it right!
Back when he played for the Pistons and was SemiNormal he would play videogames at the local mall. I saw him there one day and being a sports hero to me, I just had to play. Then he turned very very strange. Oh well.
He came into the bakery I worked at and ordered a half pound of little cookies, I got out the box and started to get them and he decided on three quarters of a pound. For some reason that I will never understand, I decided to use the same box. So they all got crushed.
Not me but a friend of mine. We were in a bar in Ann Arbor (Rick’s) when Barry showed up. Being huge Lions fans we were obviously very excited to be that close to Barry. A friend of mine went up to him and said “Hey , how you doin?” to which Barry thought it best not to reply or even acknowledge my friends existence. That experience made him an unLions fan for a couple of years!
-Frankie
“Mother Mercy, can your loins bear fruit forever?/Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure?”
-Bad Religion
Okay I’ll confess and leave it at that.
1). True. I am have lived in 4 different and in the next year will probably have to move again.
2). True. But, most of you probably don’t care about wrestling, so I won’t bore you.
3). False. I wish I did, I played in H.S., but my college doesn’t have a team. Oh well.
“The idea of a walk-in closet sounds frightening. If I’m ever sittin’ at home and a closet walks in, I’m gettin’ outta there.” ~George Carlin