A1. has been the victim of three attempted stabbings, the first when she was seven years old.
True- see other thread for the gory details.
A2. once had sex with a guy who could sodomize himself with his own penis.
True- Like I said, I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it myself.
A3. has never double-posted.
False- Guess I made it too easy, huh?
B1. Briefly played bass with a punk band in high school, until they decided to add a horn section and become a ska band.
False- This is a complete fabrication. I was never in a band, and can’t play the bass.
B2. Has not gotten laid in over a year and a half.
Sad but true.
B3. Has never been to any foreign countries except Canada and Mexico.
Ditto.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
Wow. Most of you fell hook, line, and sinker for mine. Way cool.
John Corrado was kicked out of Switzerland.
Sorry, Arnold, but I did. I was traveling with a group of classmates (and the entire story of this trip deserves a thread of it’s own) and we had flown into Switzerland. On the way through customs, the customs agent took serious exception to the Ugandan passport one of us was traveling under, and began shouting at us in extremely frenetic French. I don’t understand why (was Switzerland at war with Uganda or something?), but our group was loaded into a bus and shipped off immediately to the French border. No stops allowed.
John Corrado was captain of his high school’s cross-country team.
Absolutely false, and congrats to NTG and ShadowFox as the only two people to guess that. I was the continual last-placer on my junior high’s cross-country team, and decided that continued effort was futile when I got into high school. John Corrado once worked as a door-to-door vinyl siding salesman.
Also true. Sigh. The things I did to earn spending money when I was in college…
True (sigh). I did indeed total four cars in a period of five years. A Monte Carlo, a Nova and two VW squarebacks, to be exact. Now, aren’t you all glad I don’t drive anymore?
I have been abandoned mid-date, but for another girl rather than for a guy.
Most of you guessed that this was the lie, but I did turn down a chance to have lunch with Tommy Lee. It helps to know that I work for a radio trade paper, and lots of other people did go have lunch with Tommy.
Allriiiigght! This is my favorite part! The best threads and the most successful ones are those that allow folks to talk about themselves! Llllllllleeeeeeeettt’ssssss get rrrrrreeeaaaadddyyyyy to Ruuummmmmmmmmmbbbbblllllleeee!!!
<font size=+1 face=“times new roman”> trueOkay that one was a freebie. Anyone who knows me know that I have done this. Hell, I even put up a thread about it in this forum. As to why, I don’t know. It was either this or Jesus H. Christ, but then I guess Satan and I would hang out in the pit a lot. </font>
<font size=+1 face=“times new roman”>false Actually, I’ve never been fired from any real job. What I mean by that is the only jobs I’ve been fired from were part time, paid min wage and involved words like “name tag” and “here is your change”.
This was a dead giveaway, as nowhere would hire some shmuck after say, oh, the ninth time they fired him. But I thought it would make an interesting contrast to
<font size=+1 face=“times new roman”>true If anyone remembers from the last time we did this, I spent most of my college years working as a bouncer. Sometimes, folks don’t like the fact that you threw their ass out of your bar, or the manner in which you did so. So they decide that you need to die or be wounded by a gunshot. Of the three times some asshole busted a cap off at me, once was when I was leaning on the wall in front of UDH. I heard the shot and started when something stung my cheek. It was some chips flying off the brick wall. Upon closer inspection, you could see that the bullet hit like 6 inches away from my head. Yowza!</font>
So that’s all my confessions.
I wonder if certain folks don’t believe this either, and will bring it up at random times…?
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
My site HAS been in Entertainment Weekly, my site HAS been on CNN Headline News. I was interviewed by Fox Files for a thing about my webcam, but the footage wasn’t used.
–
“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t www.opalcat.com
If I may join in, here’s a boring set from the thrill-a-minute life of a science fiction editor:
Ace1) I attended Isaac Asimov’s memorial service.
Ace2) Larry Niven and I were thrown out of a bar together.
Ace3) Though I’ve spoken with Harlan Ellison semi-regularly over the past eight years, he has never cursed me out, threatened my life or called me “bugfuck.”
…but when you get blue, and you’ve lost all your dreams, there’s nothing like a campfire and a can of beans!
I didn’t want to post back to this thread until I’d had my say in the Pit about some-idiot-poster-above’s formatting.
The fabrication was #1 - I’ve jumped out of several airplanes, but not one in the dire straits implied in the post above.
Confession from me: Yes, #3 was the lie. It was inspired by my sister, who first saw it about 3 months ago, and then only because a friend of hers mailed a copy to her and refused to speak to her until she had watched it. I was wondering if anyone would be have the thought that it was so unlikely that it had to be true because otherwise it was a giveaway lie.
According to my then bf, now hubby (PUNdit) I did run out of his trailer house nude one night. (I don’t remember this, but PUN swears it’s true). His cat presented us (asleep in bed) with her gift of a not-yet-dead snake. I allegedly screamed & ran out the back door of the trailer for about 20 yards before he caught up with me & brought me back in.
I did swim in the 200 Butterfly event in the 1978 Big Eight championships. I didn’t qualify for the finals, let alone win. I came in 14th, I think, out of 16.
I DID win $30,000 in a competition among Endocrinology fellows presenting original research in thyroid disease at a national meeting. Sadly, the $30K went to Walter Reed Army Medical Center, not to me personally, though I did receive a $1,000 travel grant.
Hey - what a cool thread! All of the bragging; none of the guilt… thanks Alphagene!
There were four votes and they were all for number 2 being the lie. Nope, it’s number 1. Apparently, the easiest way to get believed is to make an interesting claim about your sex life with a certain amount of pathetic detail. In any case, the story is completely made up. Nothing like it happened to me or to anyone I know. But, hey, maybe I should tell it from now on as if it were true.
Number 2 is true. Why did everyone vote against this? The quality of the high school wrestling in Hancock County (Ohio) wasn’t very good at that point. If you were able to keep your weight down to 98 pounds as a senior, you already had a good shot at the title. I’m a bit under 4’11", and as a senior I still weighed only 103 or so without even trying to lose weight. (I’ve put on a lot of weight since then.) Given that I was a senior competing against freshmen and sophomore opponents, it wasn’t too surprising that I pinned them all in less than two minutes.
Number 3 is true. The article is “Runts Lib” by Ralph Keyes, and it’s in the January 1973 Playboy. In late October and early November of 1971, a group of women at my undergraduate school (New College in Sarasota, Florida) presented a list of demands to the president of the college concerning women’s rights that were only vaguely related to anything happening at New College. They insisted that he do something about them within 48 hours. He didn’t do anything, so two days later they took over his office. In the usual New College way of doing things, he just moved to another office and then went out of town for a few days. After five days, the student court ordered them to get out of his office, and they did.
They used these five days to get a lot of publicity in the local community. People there were a lot more worried about this event than any of the students were. In the meantime, a group of gay men decided to use the publicity to send out to the local press a list of their demands. I’m not sure if they bothered to present them to anyone at the college, and these demands were again only vaguely related to New College. I decided that the campus needed something to break the tension, so I posted the “Short Students’ Demands.” I posted them on a wall in the Student Union, about a foot from the ground (with a sign five feet above it saying “Hey, tall people, look down here”). Everyone had a laugh and then forgot all about it for a couple of weeks. A PR person for the college asked me for a copy of the demands and wrote a news story about it, versions of which appeared in three local newspapers.
The news story was cut down to a shorter length (without any of the context of the incident) and put it on the national wire services. It appeared in many newspapers all over the country. I was told that Paul Harvey read a story about it on his radio show. A few months later, a freelance writer named Ralph Keyes called me and said he was writing an article about this and some other incidents where people had done things to publicize the cause of short rights. More time goes by, and one day I’m told that there’s an article in Playboy about me.
Keyes has since mentioned me in at least two books, one of which (The Height of Your Life) is a fairly good popular account of the psychology and sociology of height differences. There are reasonably good statistics showing that people do discriminate on the basis of height.
I once went window shopping with Alec Baldwin down the streets of Manhattan’s Chinatown.
I once posed nude on top of the statue of Testudo, the University of Maryland’s mascot in the middle of campus.
I’ve appeared in several videos that are not generally acessible to members of the general public unless they are acustomed to receiving their orders in plain, unmarked packaging.
Whichever one you pick, it’s still not pretty…
Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
Sorry, Eden and all…got sideswiped by Real Life there for a bit.
Okay: #1 is true; I did help bodybag the corpse of someone killed by a lion. I worked in security at an amusement park to help float grad school costs. The park had a “safari” area. A particularly idiotic and sadistic employee delighted in tormeting the big cats, e.g. tossing cherry bombs at them, etc. He ignored all safety rules, entered the inner fence alone in the jeep, got out–leaving his radio and shotgun behind of course–and got attacked.
Let’s just say the cats had dined some. That, the heat and the smell ensured I couldn’t eat for a few days or empty litter boxes for years to follow.
#2 is the lie: I’ve rafted the Colorado River (oar, not powered raft) and loved it, but was not a guide.
#3 is true, unfortunately. I did clobber Neil Armstrong. It was a case of mistaken identity. I’m still cringing about it years later. Don’t wanna talk about it; can’t make me.
Guess it’s my turn (my 'puter at home died, sorry for the delay):
Sick, but true - but not just ANY Cheez Whiz. Only the Salsa con Queso flavor will do (great melted or cold, right out of the jar!). Yes, I realize manny of you have lost whatever modicum of respect for me you might have had. . . My SO was shocked (shocked!) when he found out, but he does that upside-down-fork-in-your-left-hand thing when he eats, so I say we’re even.
False! What kind of cretin do you people think I am!? Jeez! I was there (1986, when it was still Leningrad), but I didn’t touch anything, I swear! (I did, however, touch Marie Antoinette’s bedroom walls when I was at Versailles. . . just couldn’t help myself).
In 1994 I was contracted to ghostwrite The Cowboy Hat Book (I’m listed in the credits as “Copy Editor”). In 1979 I was on Match Game PM, and in 1980 I was on Blockbusters (TV game shows). Stage appearances (high school/college) include: Mame (Mame), Rosie Alvarez (Bye Bye Birdie), Aunt Eller (Oklahoma!), and Lucy (*You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown[i/] - no typecasting jokes, please). In 1976, as a fundraiser for my high school chorus to help put on our somewhat lavish productions, we performed, produced, pressed, and sold an actual vinyl album of rock tunes. Our 12-member concert choir did the leads/solos, and the 90-voice chorus did backups. I did the solo in Jesus is Just Alright (Doobie Brothers).
<font size=1>Please don’t hate me because I like Cheez Whiz.</font size=1>
StoryTyler
“Not everybody does it, but everybody should.”