uh, what? No, really. What just happened?

There was no cultural divide last week, when I swerved to miss a 4’ x 2"x2" board with protruding nails lying in the road, and in a bright-hearted mood pulled over, walked back and dodged traffic to pick it up and toss it in my truck’s bed, just to hear shouted from one of the passing cars "next time secure your load, asshole."

Eh, look on the bright side. A woman apparently in trouble attracted help. When she (seemingly) thought herself to be threatened, she attracted yet more help. Even if things didn’t exactly go fantastically, it could certainly have been worse.

Depending on the location a cop may have ticketed you too.

For removing a hazard that someone else had left?

No, he was not. He was merely checking if everything was right. The lady should have realized that yelling into a cell phone (which people may not see) is definitely going to attract attention.

He was “merely checking” the first time he said something. After he ascertained that she was on the phone, “merely checking” morphed into pestering. And, actually, I believed that point was reached at some time prior to that, when he should have realized that he can’t understand what she’s saying. How’s he going to “merely check” anything when he doesn’t speak her language? It becomes some kind of futile demonstration of chivalry or something.

Attract attention sure, but not repeated attempts to accost her, and certainly not after he realizes she’s talking on the phone.

Perhaps the actual words I used could mean what you say, but I don’t think so.

So, for those who might not understand the intent of English, I moved in front of her, and spoke again happened, and at that point I noticed. . . etc. This clearly meant to me that as I spoke, I noticed the phone. Where I said that I yelled at her was not apparent to me on review of my post. Nor was the fact that I knew at that moment that she did not speak English, only that she had not yet spoken English. When she yelled at me in a foreign language, I did assume she did not speak English. Concerning the other people, again, I must refer to my own post.

You are correct, I did not specify how far she ran, nor that I did not run after her. The people were not with her when I first encountered her. They came into the situation after she had already run away. Probably fifty or more feet through a parking lot, and past several other people who did nothing. But, I suppose I could have decided originally that she was not my ethnic group, and the other people nearby were, and I should never have said anything to her at all.

However, the fact is that if I hear another voice, distressed, tearful, and nearly screaming in a public parking lot, I probably won’t just walk away.

Tris

That justifies perhaps one attempt to offer help. After you were ignored, you chose continue to impose yourself, which to me suggests some motive other than ordinary human concern. People are perfectly able to ask for help if they need it or want it.

Again, I wonder whether your actions would have been different if this person had been a man instead of a woman.

I also wonder whether things would have been different if this person had been speaking in English. What kind of loud, tearful conversation that you did understand would prompt you to aggressively offer help and what kind wouldn’t?

“Distressed, tearful, and nearly screaming”? The first thing that this suggests to me is a lovers’ quarrel. What kind of help can a random stranger on the street offer in that kind of a situation?

I must admit, I’m finding it hard to even invent a scenario in which your insisting on offering help would offer her a critical difference – “My neighbor is threatening to kill and eat my pet turtle if I don’t go get him in 20 minutes and my son is refusing to give me a ride? Can you take me?”

I would imagine that anything really serious would have prompted her to ask someone for help.

Read it again. It was one attempt.

Perhaps an interesting psychological examination. I do probably have a different threshold for offering help to a man, than a woman. But, on the other hand a man publicly showing the same level of distress would probably appear much more distressed to me, given my social and ethnic antecedents. Artfully camouflaged insinuation on your part, though. Off the mark entirely of course, but you have only my assurance to go on, and a stalking rapist would certainly claim the highest motives.

Well, had she been speaking English I might have recognized it as a conversation, which in the actual case, I did not. People screaming and in tears who are apparently alone are qualitatively different in social impact than folks having a very angry argument in public.

The kind that did not know it was a lover’s quarrel, due to the absence of a perceivable lover. I think your point here is that I should have known it was a lover’s quarrel. I did not.

So, now let me ask something. What nefarious plan do you think I was hatching when i “accosted” her with my unsolicited offer of aid? Despite your assurances that the angry lover could not be helped by a random stranger (which I don’t necessarily believe to be invariably the case), many other terribly distressing thing could be remedied by a random stranger. I know, because random strangers have helped me, once even when I was incomprehensible, and irrational.

Tris

Trisk, you really should know better than trying to rape people. Didn’t we talk about this once already?

But seriously, it’s sort of upsetting that someone would be admonished for trying to help. There aren’t enough good people in the world. I’m glad you were concerned for her.

Ah ha!

At least one person has fallen for my . . . uh . . . recognized my inherent kindliness. :slight_smile:

Tris

Every time I’ve been walking the Swiss alps, I’ve had no stamina to spare for dismembering or stowing bloody bits. You must be in better shape.
Gruetzi!

Don’t worry, there is probably a tool on the larger pocket knives dedicated to dealing with the likes of him.

My God, man. You’re usually a good poster, acsenray, but these are bizarre insinuations you’re making here. This seems to have stricken a chord with you. Is it a cultural difference with me and Tris? I ask because I remember you’re Indian; maybe in India or among Indian communities offering help to somebody is incredibly rude or something.

Well, as Tris pointed out, he’d have figured out what was going on if the person had been speaking English. As far as he was concerned this was a person screaming in a strange language. Maybe she needs help but can’t speak English, but at least will recognize somebody trying to help. Maybe she’s having a hypoglycemic episode or something.

When he figured out she was speaking on the phone, he just finished his comment. Okay, maybe he should have backed away instead. But it doesn’t justify the woman’s reaction; she should just have pointed to her phone or something. Cell phones blur the line between private and public and seem to often be making people rude.

Yes, because they just see you stopped with it and they think you lost it in the first place. Mistakes happen especially when a cop is looking for trouble.

How is she supposed to know he’s trying to help if she doesn’t understand English? From her perspective, she’s having some sort of argument on her cell and this guy comes up out of nowhere, talking to her in a language she doesn’t understand.

Especially considering that a lot of immigrants come over because some bad shit is going down in their homeland, I wouldn’t be surprised that she reacted more WTF instead of, “oh yay, a nice man wants to help me!”

She’s speaking in a language other than English; doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand English, or at least simple words. And if you’re screaming and someone accosts you, chances are they’re trying to understand what your problem is.

Maybe her hovercraft really *was *full of eels.

To the first point, I’ll agree; there’s no way to know she doesn’t know English.

I can’t agree with the second point. It could be other things, like an asshole who wants to beat the shit out of her for being loud and annoying to him.