The biggest problem I see with taking the fight to 'em is that I was taught to NEVER hit a woman. Over there I don’t know if I could tell which is which?
Dear Sir,
Last Tuesday, while trying to invade Texas, one of the natives shot my leg clean off with a pump action shotgun. Nor would the blighter keep still while I tried to poke him with my pointed stick.
I find this behaviour most unsporting, and indicative of the reasons it is our bounden duty as representatives of Britannia, to subdue these savages, and bring them into the civilised world, for their own good.
I remain your humble and obedient servant,
jjimm
football? did he actually say English football? bwaa-ha-ha 
I did know that: a gentleman from Dallas explained it to me. He also explained that a lot of Texans sporting the Don’t Mess with Texas bumper stickers weren’t really trying to promote a cleaner environment. The way he explained it was that they were trying to give us a friendly warning.
cleaner environment? 
jjimm what’s with the location…you say your an Irishman and yet your sidin w/ the English?
That’s almost as bad as calling me a fuckin yank… now them’s fightin words.
I don’t say I’m Irish - I say I’m in Ireland. I’m as English as the day is long, part of the reconquest of Ireland, starting by stealing their jobs and their women. Next stop Cork, then on to Galveston!
I don’t watch much TV but I like a good movie ever now and then. Did you ever see the movie Lonesome Dove with Tommy Lee Jones and Robert Duvall…
these two Irishmen (young) are lost in Mexico…and one of 'em asks Cap’n Call… are we near Gal-veston?
Then again you might not know the difference either.
Lotsa folks don’t really comprehend a two day drive across a state.
I lived in Houston for three years, so I know y’all’s ways. Biggest skies in the world, ever, and the best steaks. (That’s the real reason for the invasion, but don’t let on to the allies.)
Houston? Hell I changed my mind I forgot that place was down there. if you want it feel free…come and get it. Just take it with you when you leave.
Before you invade us, ask yourselves: do y’all really want to be this close to Oklahoma?
(I kid, Okies! I kid!)
Oh cut 'em some slack prav…just think how you’d act if you were stuck between Heaven (Tx.) and Hell (Kansas).
oops…I just noticed, you’re in Houston. That’s gotta be almost as bad. well, at least you can go to the beach once in awhile if you don’t trip on syringe or slip in an oil slick.
This Texan, for one, would welcome our new British overlords. Deliver us, please! Don’t be intimidated by the gun-toting “cowboy” culture–it’s mostly phony machismo, and a well-trained army could slaughter the gun nuts and still have time in the afternoon to sit down, drink tea, play cricket, and say “right-o,” which I believe is what British people do in their spare time.
Met I doubt that they could handle all the fuckin crack heads in Dallas and Houston, Austin, San Antonio, El Paso, Corpus, what am I leavin out…that’s a damned army of folks right there. Put 'em on the front line.
Actually, it’s Abilene now…just haven’t bothered to change it yet.
I’d be one helluva tenacious battle… cept when your tanks overtook ours on a highway. Then we’d probably pull over to the right and let you pass.
Texas wins, 21-3. But that’s only because our football scores count for more points.
I’ve lived in Texas all my life and have touched a gun twice. One was a some kind of yugoslavian rifle my friend collected the other was the one I sold when all the hunting people called in sick at the sporting good store I worked at . I was the gun man for 60 glorious minutes. It was probibly illegal.
Redneck: Now what kinda bullet does this one here fire.
Me: Large ones I imagine. Heres the gun maybe you can tell.
You must be one of the rich ones.
Speaking as an Irish-American resident of New York City, I’d just like to stop by this thread to report that the concept of Texans and Englishmen leveling deadly fire at one another is giving me serious wood.