But all the Texans (like me) who are already serving in the U.S. Military would run home and defend her. Bring our military experience, tactics, and strategy with us, train up some more folk, and have the Brits meet us at San Jacinto.
If your really want to do it in east Houston, may I suggest you meet at the BP refinery.
Anyway, take us over, please. And bring some of your yummy back bacon with you (although I think it’s all made in Denmark). And don’t worry about the gun culture. Texans can’t hit anything unless they’re sitting in a blind.
“Alright men, hold your fire until you can see the brown of their teeth.”
We don’t do anything with it, because it is horrific.
I was wondering, if you Brits managed to defeat Texas, what would your next move be? Would you leave, taking all the desirable Texans back to the UK? Would you just snap up all the barbecue, good beer, cowboy hats, boots & belt buckles you could carry and go home? Or would you all stay and occupy Texas? Or have you all thought ahead that far?
What we normally do is get a bloke in a pith helmet with feathers on it to be vaguely in charge, and then sort of leave him to it.
Texas would have to coloured pink on any map though - That should go down well.
That’s the British Petroleum refinery. See, we’ve started already.
Y’all know that Smith and Wesson is British owned I hope.
Once again we arm our enemies. We make a habit of this.
Although the Bush family is a bunch of damned Yankees, they claim to be from Texas and own a lot of property here. Not to mention businesses and buildings with their names attached. When you do start your bombing runs be sure to make Crawford your first target.
Then wait to see what GWB does to retaliate. 
Maybe he’d just let slide.
All this violence! Where’s the lurve?
I have taken a Texan friend to London with me, and they loved her accent and her whole manner (think a female Quincy Morris).
Meanwhile, her family love my accent and manner of speech and that I am very polite but devastating with subtle, but deadly English dimissal of those less worthy. Just watching me use a knife and fork on a pizza won over her tough as nails mum.
A British -Texan alliance might actually be a thing of beauty.
You’d need all the oil in Texas just to afford a wagon wheel at White Hart Lane these days.
mutter
If y’all do win, you think you could take over Huntsville prison and force us to do a bunch of sexy stuff in front of your women soldiers Abu Ghraib style? 'Cause I’ve been thinking about something like this a lot lately, for some reason.
While I think that the British military would have little trouble conquering Texas, keeping hold of it would be a different matter.
Unless we unleash our most devastating weapon: Radio 4’s The Archers.
Is’nt Texas full of oil? Withone well place fire cracker and the whole state would go pooof.
Why would we want Texas? Tell you what, the UK will pay you to keep the place … what if we give you Tony Blair, free, just to keep Texas to yourselves?
Aint that the truth - and that’s if you can get through to the catering staff that you want a Wagon Wheel. Where do they get them?
I would pay good, British, money with the queen on it, to watch Texans line dancing to the signature tune from the Archers.
Pay them with Kiwi dollars. It still has the Queen but it is worth less 
I’d just like to see some unarmed London coppers driving a 1.2 litre hatchback trying to intercept a convoy of armed-to-the-teeth God Ol’ Boys in V8 SUV trucks…
“I say chaps. Pull over, won’t you. In the name of the Qu… Chaps?.. … chaps?”
Put it on packets of cheddars 