But that is only the polite ones TheLoadedDog.
“Oi, Oi, I said Oi you fuckers! Pull the fuck over before I get cranky” Works much better. 
You’re right there, C K. Liberal use of the word “toerag” is needed too.
Of course 
If you do come be prepared to pull over lots of these
and those
loaded down with every kinda weapon and pissed off cowboy in the country. 
Maybe we ought to just get drunk and have a big damned BBQ. Hell, better yet, let’s all of us go to Washington DC and take back the country. Who’s gonna stop us?
And those vechicles are just for recreation! I’m afraid!
Hell yes, the Metropolitan Police could make short work of any of those with one of THESE!
(Bolding mine)
And just in case you still think you can get away from the dreaded full police livery, I must warn you…
“Pull over, there’s a good fellow…”
“Heh. Ok, cop. [waves pump action shotgun] How you suppose yer gonna make me do that? Herk herk herk…”
“Why, you uppity Texan… I’ll… I’ll … I say… I’ll use my special siren system!”
eeee…orrrr…eeee…orrr…
Screeech
“S…s.s.sorry Officer. Aah wuz jus’ kiddin’. Please don’t hurt me…”
Yep, it’s a go-er.
That’s not to mention the mountains in West Texas where you’ll have to deal with NO water, scorching heat, millions of rattlesnakes and an occasional mountain lion. All while dodging incoming rounds from well hidden snipers that can hit an antelope on the run at 500 yards.
In East Texas you’ll have to contend with millions of acres of swampland. Infested with mosquitos, jungles, quicksand, alligators and watermoccasins and even more rattlesnakes. Practically everything growing wild in Texas is poisonous or has thorns. Packs of coyotes and wolves to keep you up at night and scorpions in your bedrolls and boots. Plus them good ol’ boys have been living here for hundreds of years and all of this is FUN to us. We got the best cammo money can buy and can hide from anything or anybody if we want to.
We shoot squirrels in mid jump and birds on the wing. Plus, if it don’t eat us first it’s fair game, you included.
Then you get to deal with central Texas and the rolling hills where an entire army could be over the next hill. Dust storms that’ll clog up your vehicle and make life miserable. Vast open spaces with miles and miles of seemingly nothingness to the untrained eye. But there are millions of hiding places among the hills and water available to those who know where to find it.
Come on over, hell it sounds like fun don’t it? You first have to get past a million armed crackheads and convicts we’re gonna turn loose and setup on the beaches with every damned weapon from Port Arthur to Padre. You ever see a what hopped up crackhead is like with a gun in his hand. Promise them crazy bastards amnesty and a bag full of amphetamines and stand back.
It’s all bullshit anyway…you’d probably just get lost trying find your way through the Houston streets anyway.
a special siren? that’s rich
Those conditions sound perfect for Aussies. The Brits can send them first.
Well. I wasn’t figuring Oz into the picture. In that case I fuckin surrender. Hell they’re worse than we are.
Can ya take me back w/ya when you go. Reckon they’d have room for another crazy SOB over there.
I wasn’t aware that Aussies was kissin the Queens ass anymore. 
They speak some kinda English and I could show ‘em how to BBQ.
You reckon the wimminfolk would like a good ol’ boy from Texas?
Naah, we’d defect to the Texan side after about three nanoseconds (would be two nanoseconds, but I prefer English Best bitter to Lone Star.
Yup, definitely with the Texans. The British do have a habit of sending us in first ( but we’ve finally wised up that it’s only so that we get our arses shot off).
The Queen would be shocked! John Howard would “approve this message”
Did you see the movie Braveheart? Remember when Longshanks attempted to pit the Irish against the Scots?
That’s it…y’all d get here and we’d just have a cookout. BTW Lonestar…sucks. No real Texan drinks that hogwash. If you want a good Texas beer get you some Shinerbock. What do ya want me to BBQ for ya? We’ve got lots of cattle. You ever roast a whole side of beef on a spit. We could bury some pigs in a bed of coals and maybe haul a few tons of shrimp outta the Gulf for an appetizer.
Me, I like margaritas, senoritas, and shots of tequila. We could get Willie to entertain while we wait on them damned LIMEYS to finally show up. Everybody knows they’re always late.
We will be at home tending the sheep.
Don’t listen to him, blokes. Just stay on the Interstates and you be fine. There’s a Whataburger, a Shell station and a La Quinta Inn at every frickin’ interchange.
And, of course, after the big dogs get through fighting down south, we Canadians will come in and civilise the remains (i.e. spread multilingualism, progressive politics, tolerance of diversity, and maple-flavoured products)…
That’ll be Royal Dutch Shell you’re referring to. Once again you have failed to spot our advance guard.
And as to T-keela’s descriprtion of the horrors of Texas - all I can say is he’s never been to a happy hour in a Yate’s wine lodge. The bints in those places alone could take texas.
Horrors hell… them is our playgrounds.
The real horrors don’t start until you start seeing lots of concrete and tall buildings. Them places is really scary, especially at night. I’d much rather take my chances walking across a river bottom than Hines Blvd. or Telephone road at 3am.
If you’re serious about this, might I advise that quite a lot of Scotsmen will be along too. We don’t do the tea and cricket thing, we do “running naked at the enemy with gigantic lumpy clubs”. Also we don’t tend to let things like death slow us down. And Braveheart just made us angry.
Clearly we’ll have to do the naked bit at night or we’ll all be sun-dried before we ever reach you, but, y’know. I reckon your best bet is to ply us with cheap alcohol and macaroni pies on the border. If we ever get inside Texas itself we’ll immediately claim welfare and destroy your economy from within (that’s not a plan, as such, it’s just What Will Certainly Happen).