I laugh at your KEYSTONE COPS PIE FIGHT SCENE, but then realize to my horror, That is exactly what he wants me to do!
Shaking off my momentary amusement, I thrash you with An Esperanto Edition of Tolstoy’s War and Peace!!!
Paper wraps [key]stone.
Scissors cut paper, so cut to the chase…
submit your posts quickly and you’ll be an ace…
Even the Esperanto Edition of Tolstoy’s War and Peace doesn’t stand a chance against The Pen of Ambrose Bierce!!! Yes, the pen is indeed mightier than the sword… muahahaha
Ha! With The Pen of Ambrose Bierce, Le Sang employs a clever, little-used maneuver that, to the unitiated, would surely spell paralysis, or even death, but to a Master of Rochamboku, it is easily countered with aMexican Standoff at High Noon.
And to keep you heathens off balance, I go on the offensive with the Kobiyashi Maru Starship Simulation (“There is no correct solution.”). Unless you are James T. Kirk, you will surely fail!! Hahahahahahahahahah!!!
PS: jr8, I’m honored that you would co-opt my description of you in your sig. You still deserve a noogy.
PPS: don’t you people work?!!
Your Kobiyashi Maru Starship Simulation ("There is no correct solution) is weak, when faced with…
work
I’ll space out during your **work[\b] and then I’ll enroll you in: **Organic Chemistry…WITH LAB![\B] and your professor is from Bolivia and knows every term in the textbook and the phrase “You fail!”
(You must pass or you don’t have a future either!)
And while I’m at it I’ll go write “I will always hit preview.” 100 times on the blackboard. :rolleyes:
Pffft! O-Chem, puh-leez!
I combat that with Dynamics, Probability & Stats, Thermo, and Design of Experiments (DOE).
Rounding, I present you with a: Rubik’s Snake.
If you dare…
*Ah yes. The infamous Rubik’s Snake maneuver. A cleverly crafted mystery intended to confound the opponent.
Unfortunately for you, your opponent knows how to work the Snake.*
The Rubik’s Snake is turned easily into the Rhombic Dodecahedron of Exactly Twice the Volume as the Cube That Can Be Made With the Snake.
And I attack with Tchaikovsky’s First Piano Concerto. Take that!
LL
If my memory serves me, I had told myself I was through with the Rochambo circuit two score and three years ago, after the tragic Esoterica Tag Team stung me with an aftertaste of Early Mesopotamian Toilet Technology and Claude DeBussy’s birth home for years hence. My pinky toenail never did grow back.
From ringside, however, I can remain silent no longer. The fiend has dared to show his face again…I toss aside my sackcloth and step forward, shattering Tchaikovsky’s First Piano Concerto into delectable bite-size morsels when faced with a Wesley Willis concert, complete with audience headbutt! The sumo-slam of this 350-lb. homeless scizophrenic keyboard musician is not to be taken lightly! Huzzah!
Not so fast! Your Wesley Willis concert, complete with audience headbutt attack is rendered harmless by locking it in a John Cage, which I just happened to have handy.
thinksnow has escalated the conflict by bringing out the Straight Dope Rosetta Stone and so I’ll have to start using the big guns now.
Prepare to face the awesome wrath of: the U.S. Electoral College! Lock and load, baby.
Bailey attacks the atavistic **Electoral College **with the voter-resentment fallout from an aggreviating Disputed Election.
She scoffs at your use of the “futurist”** John Cage ** and confronts him with a generous dose of ** Humility**, which infects him and renders him unable to produce pretentious, conceptual music, thereby rendering him powerless.
Pshaw – everyone knows that the U.S. Electoral College turns a deaf ear to voter resentment, and the mewlings and pukings from your Disputed Election are no exception. Your attack is blown away in a cloud of chads.
You’ll have to try harder than that! Nyahahahaha!
:: Eutychus enters the fray and thinks to himself “Buncha pikers…” ::
But since the Rosetta Stone of the SDMB has been unleashed, I have no other choice to unleash nuclear weaponry…
There are three words that begin with GRY…
Now don’t make me unleash the Tilde …
Wow…I never thought I’d live to see the GRY Gambit being played…
You play hardball, Eutychus55. I’m left with no choice but to open an Industrial Size Can of Whoopass upside your head. En garde!
Wait a minute…
“There are three words that begin with GRY”??? I wasted a perfectly good can of whoopass on that?
Try gryllid, grylloblattid, grysbok and, of course, gryphon. And from a moderator, no less. Sheesh.
P.S. to Busta: Work is what I do in the breaks from posting here.
Neither attacking nor countering, just commenting on the very well parried manuver by jr8.
Good job.
Euty… <shaking head> …words fail me.
I flatten jr8’s ** Can of Whoopass ** with Camryn Manheim Steamroller.
Well, it’s a good thing I recycle, then. <flings flattened can into the recycling bin>
I can’t go home leaving your Camryn Manheim Steamroller unchallenged…
[sub]Hmmm…isn’t Mannheim Steamroller some sort of soft rock music? Paper covers rock…aha![/sub]
All righty then! Eat Severe IRS Audit, infidel!
And let me just say that it’s a good thing you didn’t try to attack with the fat chicks – I always keep a spring-loaded Frank Perdue up my sleeve for just such an occasion.
So, the battle is joined and we have new victims, er combatants, added to the fray. As Imelda Marcos walking into the shoe department at Nordstrom would say, “We have a target-rich environment!”
And in the vein of the Grand Wizard…Tim???, I quash the Severe IRS Audit with Government Downsizing, and counter with the ultimate assault and pelt you all with a barrage of Bubblegum Pop from Japan, laced with subliminal biting sarcasm, and a smidgen of Mad Cows Disease. This lethal combination is often imitated, but never successfully executed…until now.
The best offense is a good defense, is all I could hear whisper through my ears as the mad cow gumballs rolled across the ring. I counter your well-aimed gumball assault with a throng of rabid vegans, who would never step near any gum-based product manufactured with gelatin at the cost of so many hogs’ bellies! The vegan rope-a-dope tires your bullish ballbearings to dust!