Umm - she married me - you may now go away

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My wife of three months got an IM last night.

“Hi it’s Scott”

Scott was the guy she was dating before me. They “broke up” two springtimes ago (we were dating in parallel for a while). It took a while - she tried to make it "just friends’ but he had a hard time with that. She eventually had to state explicitly that they were just friends, the romantic part (such as it was) was over and that had to be that.

He called her a bitch and a bunch of other names, told her he was done with her and that was that. She deleted his name from her cell phone and there was silence for until last summer.

Late last summer there was another IM, an obviously misdirected response from him to somebody alphabetically hear her name in his phone book. She had to ask who it was since his number’s cross reference was deleted. A short conversation, amounting to little more than “Hey” “How are you” “Doing good” “OK Bye” occurred.

In April, my lady and I were married. He’s had no contact with her - no knowlege of the engagement & marriage.

Last night, we’re laying in bed, spoon-style, tired & dazed from the activity of the day. Her phone chimes.

“Hi - it’s Scott”
“Hi - what’s up?”
“In a strange mood”
“Hmm. What do you mean”
“Well, Umm, err, well”

My lady knows this code… it’s a booty call!!

This guy, who cussed her out over a year ago, hasn’t had contact with her except by accident, is horny.

“Bummer” (on of my wife’s favorite words).
“What’s been happening?”
“Been Busy. Married my last boyfriend”
“Really?”
“Yeah”
“Oh - well - gotta go.”
“K. Bye.”

AAaaaah!!!

What an jerk.

My wife asked if I’m jealous, and I guess I am, but it’s mixed up with this anger over the insult he just gave her. How dare this jerk think he can phone up this wonderful woman after cussing her out a year ago and washing his hands of her and then just, in the space of three messages declare his horniness with the assumed expectation that she’d say, “OK, I’ll be right over.”

My wife is rolling her eyes with this, too. It’s less angering to her, I guess. She also got the message that she’s desirable and that’s always affirming, I guess. She deleted all the messages and, more or less, said “good riddance”.

Still - the balls on this guy! May they grow big and blue and painful!

(MPSIMS: Too little vitriole for the pit.)

2

This sounds like a good reason for sending wedding announcements to exes. The guy probably feels like a real tool now, if it makes you feel better.

3

Eh, look at it this way…you got her, and now he knows it, so HA HA HA!

Your wife handled it very well. I doubt you’ll be hearing from the guy again.

4

Part of me is channeling Nelson big time, “HA, ha!”

My wife said he only every wanted to provide a half-up of relationship - she wanted the full cup and got it with me.

An odd metaphor but I think it means she’s happy with me and knows she’s better off without him.

I’m hoping he deleted her name yesterday, too.

5

I’ve been married a dozen years. Lived together for a few years before that. Was married to someone else before that.

My parents have - within the past five years - answered the phone to answer the “what’s she been up to?” “Married - two kids” question from old boyfriends.

Either I’m quite the catch or I’ve dated hopeless losers who - fifteen years after going on four dates with them, call my parents looking for my number. In your wife’s case, and mine, we’ll go with the flattering interpretation of “both.”

6

Well, the tale of the Horny Hopeful Ex asking, “how ya doin” and being told, “–I got married” made me laugh right out loud. Unsympathetic to male needs, yeah, I know. :smiley:

7

No Booty Calls

nsfw

8

I told her she should text back to have him contact Rosy Palm and her five sisters - they’re probably available.

In the interests of full disclosure, I’ve paraphrased the text conversation from memory but it’s pretty close, I think. “Bummer” is dead on, I know.

I think there was a “Whatcha doin” question. In retrospect I suggested she should’ve sent “lying in bed with my husband” as a response.

I think :eek: would’ve been the face.

Oh- and that should be a “half-cup” of relationship. Not sure what a “half-up” is…

9

Oh come on. One booty call in 2+ years, and you can’t think of what “half-up” might mean in context? :smiley:

Don’t be too hard on the guy. He may be a jerk, and maybe something of a choke artist when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, but right now it sounds like he just needs a hand. I mean, come on. Don’t rub it in.

10

My wife still gets the occasional IM or email from guys she dated in the past. Not so much phone calls because she only had her current number a couple months before we met. We’ve been married 3 years, together 5. I find it kind of flattering. She usually doesn’t respond out of a genuine indifference to everyone she dated before me :cool:.

11

I had to sent this to my wife.

:smiley:

12

Can you do a good Mediterranean accent? Like Italian, or maybe Portuguese?

The Onion has a few tips.

13

Somebody needs a call from the Rejection Hotline… :smiley:

14

There’s a reason guys make calls like this.

Sometimes it pays off.

Just sayin’.

15

Reminiscent of the thread title, I love how at the end of the clip, they’ve completely forgotten Billy Bob standing there with his shotgun. Doc: “You may go now.”

[TOMBSTONE hijack]

I’ll just sneak in the duel between Johnny Ringo and Doc:

“Maybe poker’s just not your game, Ike. I know…let’s have a spelling contest!”

“I have two guns; one for each of you.”

[/TOMBSTONE hijack]

16

So… you are basically trashing this guy because he didn’t know something that he wasn’t told?

It’s not like he persisted anyway. Give the guy a break - if there was any chance, and there might have been in some circumstances, it’s worth a try. For all you know he went to the next name on his address book, and got some that night.

17

Meh- he actually dated and had a real relationship with someone and calls them a couple years later, hoping she might be available? It’s not like he’s stalking her, or even as if he persisted after hearing that she was married. I think it’s funny, more than anything. Good on your wife for being so blunt.

18

I was angry (now more bemused than anything (long fuse, long cool-off)) about what his actions said he thought of my wife.

Basically, as far as I’m concerned, he just declared loudly that he thought she was an easy lay. It’s a demonstration of what he really thought of her and what he thinks of her is insulting.

He’s, simply, a jerk for doing this (especially if she was just the next one in the address book). What? Any hole is as good as another when you’re horny?

19

I am not saying anything against your wife but you said yourself…

Did it ever dawn on you that if she new the code that perhaps in her past before you or even the thought of you she may have accepted the booty call?

Whether she did or not, is not the point. The fact that you got angry at some horny man thinking he might have a chance with an old flame is sort of weak.

20

I think us guys just naturally feel that once we’ve had sex with a woman the door is always open. Nothing personal - you might just as well blame a cow for giving milk, blame a dog for going woof! Woof! Blame a dead battery for going wrrr-wrrr-wrrr-wrrr…

Anyway, even worse than the horny ex-BF is the lonely ex-husband who keeps coming back not for sex but rather for emotional support (especially if camoflauged with “the best interests of our children.”). Now that will fuck up a relationship.