Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Dave.
Dave who?
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother’s Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
How about:
Donald Trump runs for president…
Rainier Wolfcastle: “That’s the joke.”
Another joke from back in the Communist era:
A Polish farmer keeps his savings buried in a hole in his yard. But his family convinced him he should deposit his money in the bank. He’s a little uncertain but he digs up his money and goes to the local branch of the People’s Bank.
“I have brought in all my savings of fifty zlotys. But before I deposit it, I want to ask a few questions.”
“Of course, comrade, I’m happy to help.”
“What happens to my money if this bank goes out of business suddenly?”
“A good question, comrade, but you have no need to worry. We are just a local branch. If we went out of business, you could still get your fifty zlotys back from our main office in Krakow.”
“But what happens if all of your banks go out of business?”
“That is very unlikely, comrade, but if it did happen, all deposits are guaranteed by the government and you could get your fifty zlotys back from the treasury in Warsaw.”
“But what happens to my money if the treasury shuts down?”
“Well, comrade, that’s impossible to imagine because if would mean the Polish government had collapsed. But even if that did happen, we have financial treaties with the Soviet Union so you would get your fifty zlotys back from Moscow.”
“But what happens to my money if the Soviet Union collapses?”
At this the bank official looks around and then leans closes.
“Listen, my friend, if the Soviet Union collapses, don’t you think that would be worth fifty zlotys?”
Latching on to Knowed Out’s “communist soldier” joke: such “funnies” about – shall we say, the oddities of life in the Soviet bloc; were legion. I’ve always liked the following one, perhaps on the light-hearted side, from the early days of the Cold War.
An American and a Russian soldier are on sentry duty on their respective sides of the dividing line between their respective sectors of Berlin. Rather naughtily, they are whiling away the time by conversing.
AMERICAN: In only an hour’s time, I’ll be relieved – thank God !
RUSSIAN: In only two hours’ time, I’ll be relieved – thank Stalin !
AMERICAN: Sounds funny, you saying that. What would you say if Stalin were dead?
RUSSIAN: Thank God !
Variation of that: a guy comes into a bar with a foot-high companion, who calls him names, makes fun of his drink, kicks it over, etc.
A manager, a tech support guy, and a systems programmer are driving in a car. They come over a hill, swerve, and crash into a tree.
The manager says “What are we going to do?” The tech support guy says “Let’s swap out all the tires, re-install them, and restart the car.”
The systems programmer says “Let’s back up to the top of the hill and see if it crashes again.”
Regards,
Shodan
Q: Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?
A: Because it wasn’t born yesterday.