Unintentionally hilarious lines in movies?

I am a Film Noir freak (own over a hundred) and am sitting here watching* The Mask of Dimitrios. *

Near the end, during a fight sequence involving guns, shooting, punches being thrown and people dying, Sydney Greenstreet is shot by an antagonist. Peter Lorre looks upon in horror and and says, “He was my friend! Well, he wasn’t my friend but he was a nice guy…”

I could not stop laughing and I can’t believe that was the script writer’s intention.

Others?

It’s gon’ rain on yo’ head.

It was apparently intended to be a serious warning about the potential dangers of Mos Eisley Spaceport, but Obi-Wan’s line “You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy” cracked up every audience I witnessed.

I drink your milkshake!

Paraphrase of a detective in a movie in the 1980s commenting on a man murdering his wife “I can’t believe there are men who can do something like.”

The detective was played by OJ Simpson.

From the Chronicles of Riddick:

Lord Vaako: He’s not a man. He’s the Holy Half-Dead who has seen the Underverse and returned with powers you can’t imagine.

I’d love to find a video clip of this line. It’s hilarious the way Karl Urban delivers it.

Is it Police Squad?

In the movie Raw Deal, Arnold Schwarzenegger is talking about a crime that some bad guy had committed, and delivers this line:

“The guy kidnapped an 11-year-old girl. He molested, murdered and mutilated her.”

Not a particularly funny line on paper, but when you hear it in Arnold’s finest Austrian accent, it’s one of the funniest things you’ll ever hear on screen.

This line might have some intention of being funny, but not as funny as it actually is the way it’s delivered.

Go to about 50 seconds in this clip

When you were still learning to SPELL YOUR NAME, I was being trained to CONQUER GALAXIES!

It’s his hand motions to. Oh, it’s from Battlefield Earth.

Oh, don’t get me started on that movie! From memory, so they may be inaccurate:
“Beat her!”

“You told Harpo to beat me!”

“You sho is ugly!”

“Isa married now!”

“I gotta go to schooool”

“Celeee” (in the African accent. As a child, we thought it was hilarious to hear an African try to speak English. We were idiots)

“Harpo, who dis??”

“Alll my life I had to FIGHT!”

“Nothing but death can keep me from it!!!”

“Until you do right by me, everything you touch is gonna crumble!”

I realize that some of those may have been intentionally funny, but I think most of them were supposed to be touching. We were just stupid kids though, and we laughed our heads off. (Funnily enough, I had read the book prior, and didn’t find much funny about it.)

I’ve mentioned this one before in the Café, but it still cracks me up.

The Matrix

The Nebuchadnezzar is being chased by one of those metal octopi (Sentinel, I think?)

Trinity says something along the lines of:

A Sentinel. A killing machine designed for one thing.

At which point I guffaw and always shout at the screen, “killing?”

But her next line always makes me lose it.
*
Search and destroy.*

:stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue:

My husband and I also like the part where he says, “Just give me the blood, Eli. Give me the blood, and let me get out of here” Cracks us up.

I’ve abandoned my boyyyy!!!

That’s a youtube to the whole scene, because the whole scene is funny.

“We don’t need no steenking badges!” In Treasure of the Sierra Madre I think it was meant to be menacing, but has become a common comedic catch phrase.

“You fool! You’re already dead and just don’t know it yet.”

  • Fist of the North Star

That exchange in The Day the Earth Stood Still where 2 doctors are looking over Klaatu’s x-rays and comenting on how high life expectancy is on his planet and how much more advances their medical science must be. Both doctors are smoking cigarettes the entire time. :stuck_out_tongue:

“Excuse me . . . Why does God need a starship?”

“STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE” From the masterpiece Congo.

James T. Kirk’s death scene in Star Trek: Generations. In full Shatnerian pathos: “It…was…fun.”

I was in the theater with two of my uncles, and they burst into such uproarious laughter that I thought we were going to be kicked out.

From the Wicker Man remake: “No, not the bees! Not the bees!”

The line in the OP sounds intentionally funny, but I haven’t seen the movie.

Imperial battleship… STOP the FLOW of TIME!!!

from “Star Crash.” Prior to that we had known nothing of the Imperial battleships’ capabilities in this respect. Certainly solved the problem of being trapped deep inside a planet that will explode in three seconds, though.