Soy sauce packets from Chinese takeout must NEVER be thrown away. They must be stored in the door of the fridge, but never used.
You will have either baking powder or baking soda in the kitchen, but never both at the same time. The recipe you’re using will call for the one you don’t have.
I finally stopped stocking baking powder for this very reason. Plus, who can use a whole can of the stuff in six months? (after which the rise isn’t nearly as potent.) Now I only keep baking soda and cream of tartar, both of which have pretty impressive shelf lives if kept air tight, and I make my own baking powder when I need it. (1 tsp “baking powder” = 1/4 tsp baking soda + 1/2 tsp cream of tartar.)
Aha! Now I know where all the brown sugar is coming from. Are you missing any peanut butter? I have that, too. Sorry about the no brown sugar for your oatmeal–it’s just not the same with white sugar. Oatmeal, craisins and brown sugar…yum, yum!
Chocolate pudding? Instant, baby. Or pre-made pudding cups. It’s the only way to go.
I buy a box of cornstarch every year at Thanksgiving, for thickening gravy, and then stick it away and forget about it. I buy a new box the next year, because I can’t remember if I have any, and figure if I do it’s a year old.
I always have two jars pf peanut butter going (smooth and crunchy) but we eat a lot of peanut butter here.
I know we have three bottles of mustard, all half-used.
I have three corkscrews, and I don’t drink wine. It is handy, though, when wine-drinking guests come over. The screw-pull corkscrew is very cool.
Wow, I must have a mutant anti-kitchen, because I break every single one of these constants.
Every last bit of the loaf of bread is eaten.
No steamer basket
No old jelly, mustard, mayo
No empty pickle or cherry jars
No rancid butter wad
No mysterious nut
No spaghetti box with a few strands
Every plastic container has matching lid
Strainer appears to be inanimate
No brown sugar brick or unused Argo Corn Starch
Cling wrap box that cuts in intended manner and works fine
No puddles or stains of any sort in the fridge
Kitchen and pantry is plenty big, plenty of empty cabinets, counter space, and fridge / freezer space
One wooden spoon, one rubber spatula
No bottle volcano mess
No aged leftovers
No vanishing yogurt treats
Milk and any other perishables are consumed fresh and completely
Utensil drawer not wedged shut
Just the right amount of lettuce
Equal numbers of hot dogs and buns
No dirty dishes or utensils on counter
Over 90% of food purchased is consumed
Stove and oven used regularly
I’ve had this kitchen for 2 years and am not particularly AR
If these are laws, maybe I deserve to be locked up.
If you buy sprinkles or ice cream cones they will never leave your cabinet.
They are squatters, and once you see that they will not be eaten, they claim squatter’s rights and cannot be removed.
There is always one dead onion in a zip lock bag in my fridge.
Never trust your husband to put away cheese, it will always sit on the counter until you come buy and pick it up, finding it to be a pile of soft cheese like goo, but toss it in the fridge, hubby will eat it anyway.
I always have hotdog buns and no hotdogs or hotdogs and no buns.
Will someone tell me please who put the ice cream in the fridge instead of the freezer.
I think that this proves, beyond a doubt, that you are not human. Aliens! Aliens among us!
Here’s more of mine:
Beneath every sink there is an old, dried up, rusty and encrusted SOS pad.
When orange juice is spilled on the floor, it can never ever be completely wiped up. Even if you get out a mop and mop the spilled area. No, there will be a sticky spot, always, and you will step on it, barefoot.
It is impossible to eat the last Cheerios in the bowl. If you have children, a bowl half full of used breakfast milk will appear on the counter or in the sink and contain not fewer than three nor more than five Cheerio escapees.
Ketchup will always coagulate in the neck and cap of the bottle. Any bottle. Faster than blood coagulates. Rinse the cap out, shake the bottle, no go. The next morning you have condensed ketchup back to vex you. And your fries!
Considering your Username, I don’t find that hard to believe at all.
I am a touch anal retentive (or OCD) and I don’t ever have a rancid butter wad.
All my plastic containers have a matching lid. I have a large plastic container where all the lids reside, filed by size. All the containers are stacked up by size.
All fridge puddles get wiped up daily.
My kids know better than to eat Mom’s yogurt treats.
Milk is consumed too quickly here to go bad. We go through a gallon a day.
Same with lettuce - I eat a salad for lunch every day, so the problem isn’t too much lettuce, it’s not enough lettuce.