aha, whenever my kids have a hard time comprehending the words “I am broke!” I ask them if they would like me to pull some money from my ass.
Could you teach me how?
My Talent show update
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23645
Thanks for asking, folks. I call AMC once a month and they say, “we’re still making up our minds.” They’ve been looking for a host for a year, so I really doubt I am the answer to their dreams, though I have been practicing my “Loretta Young entrance,” with pivots and skirt-sweep. I have also been in touch with The Daily Show—they had interviewed me for a position when they first started, and now with Lizz Winstead and Beth Littleford gone . . .
My Anna Held book is in stores NOW, and some Dopers have been snatching it up and E’ing me lovely comments. I am just now getting my next book proposal off in the mail. Oh, and I am tossing SDMB in-jokes into my Movieline column, starting with, I think, the July issue . . .
Now my turn—
Wally, how’s the ticker doing?
How’s everyone’s smoke-outs going?
Sax, when are you leaving on your Road Trip?
Veb, did you ever get comped for the Chicago disaster?
Crap, I have no life inwhich needs updating…oh wait!
I was able to buttonclose a pair of zipper fly jeans this weekend. At the four month brew ha ha of my daughter’s birth! WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
(Not that I can sit down for a long period of time, but it’s the little victories in life that keep us going.)
Oh, and not that anyone really has any rat’s asses to give over this, but my daughter who sucks in a lot of air when she has a bottle (read:GASSY BABY), after switching bottle brands (Captain Morgan’s to Jack Daniels 
) she slept 10 hours that night and nearly every night since.
God, I hope I didn’t kill this thread with my mundanity.
Thank you my friends for the love you share with the Chief and I. I will always have great respect for this man. We shared so much together and so many things with many of you. The Chief and I have done nothing wrong. We were two people who fell in love and later came to realize the time was not right for us. He brought me to this board, and I stay for the wonderful people I have met out there. You make me laugh, you make me cry and sometimes you feel like family. ChiefScott has never been anything but kind to me. After the clouds moved away I realized it. In my heart he will always be my Chief, my friend and fellow poster.
That really is too bad, girlbysea, you did make a cute couple, but I admire your attitude.
On the bright side, umm, this means you’re both available now?
Wow, thanks Eve and Shayna for asking about my trip.
I think I’ll have the dates set later today.
Tommy isn’t going to come, but my friend Karl gladly took his place. This is actually great news because Karl and I listen to the same music (lots of heavy metal and jazz) and have been good friends (and roommates) for many years so we’re very comfortable around each other. He just graduated from Parson’s School of Design and is being a bum this summer. Hmm, that’s two friends of mine that are bums. Must be a pattern.
I like these update threads - it’s like a satisfying end to a good novel.
Perhaps that “yenta” comment was a bit cutting. No offense intended. Please accept my appologies for offending you with my comment. It was not intentional.
But as a way of explanation, your post, which encompassed a lot of people on this board, did remind me of the jewish geography my fellow semites used to play when I was in high school. It irritated me then and I guess I have not mellowed with age as much as I thought. If you are going to ask about a person’s well being and you care enough to hear the answer then it’s customary to address it to just that person and not make it part of everyone’s business. Of course, I realize they posted it in a public forum in the first place and thus elected to forgo all privacy themselves. Still, the format of your post was less then personal. But I may be wrong. It’s happened once before.
Please try not to take offense at my silly observation.
I’ve been away from the boards for a while, so here’s the relevant updates:
I’ve moved to Austin, I start work tomorrow at a nice small start up company. I think I’ll like it there. My best friend, Cath (also known to some of you as GroovySide), is going to be in Austin too, actually living in the same apartment complex I am. She found it, so if anyone’s following anyone, it’d be me. But I don’t think that’s it.
I started a thread about an impending date a while back. It fizzled. She claimed she had to work late (probably true, but a good excuse anyway), but never bothered to reschedule our date, even though I said I was really looking forward to it. Actually, she didn’t even bother responding to that.
But! The day before that date was supposed to happen, I was at a pub, waiting for a concert to start, and I met a really cool girl. We talked for about an hour while I was waiting for the band to get ready, and we made plans to go to the Reverend Horton Heat concert the next week. Next week rolls around, and we go to a nice little Indian place for dinner (wonderful), and then to the concert (awesome). I really like her. But, I’ve just moved to Austin, and she’s a teacher in Houston. But, she’s moving to San Marcos (about 45 minutes from Austin) for the summer. So hopefully we can continue to see each other.
Stay tuned. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.
Shayna, I am sorry that I got you involved in all that. That was not my intention.
I am truely sorry! Not even thinking I sent you over there because that is where I posted about what was going on witht the legal parts of the ordeal.
For those who do not want to get into what is getting to be a pretty bloody battle, the legal end of things aren’t going well.
But the good news is that for a while longer we are keeping our heads up. Still looking for new solutions.
Shirley Great job! My youngest is going to be three and some of my clothes are still tight. Take short breaths.
Lexicon Congrats and good luck. Women are mysteries as are men. Do not go to my pit thread about letting go of negativity. You will probably have flash backs. It’s not to be taken offencively, just letting off steam, but I have a fear now of dragging people into threads.
Well, I’m pretty much decided that I’ll go to my reunion. I had a chance to hang out with some of my old high-school friends for an evening (they had gathered together- some from as far away as New Hampshire- for (get this) a juggling exposition. I am always pleased that my high school friends were so damned geeky as to make me look like Elvis. Glad to see that has not stopped). Unfortunately, immediately before I could accept, a certain someone from North Carolina happened to let me know that he, and two other certain someones from Ohio, would just happen to be in the DC area on the same night that my old friends were getting together. Quite frankly, there was no real choice involved, and I had a blast, even though I didn’t get to see the old high-school gang.
But because I didn’t see them when I could a few weeks ago, I’m pretty much commited to seeing them in August, as it’ll likely be the only chance for another year to meet up with them, and I really don’t want to blow them off again.
(In fact, the entire decision will be made for me at the end of this month; at the convention I’m going to, I’m going to propose to my SO. Should she accept, then by God I have to show off my beautiful fiancee to all my old, socially-awkward, never-got-a-date-at-all friends just to rub it in a little bit (yeah, that’s mean, but given that the rest of the night will be spent listening to them explain how they’re investing the multi-million profits from their Internet start-ups and IPOs, I have to get my digs in when I can). Of course, should she not accept, it’s unlikely that I’ll have recovered by my 20-year re-union, much less late August. So we’ll see.)
Paper was finished and got an A. 
A low A, but still an A. I was pretty surprised at the grade considering the work, or lack of, that I actually put into writing it. I got a B on the final, which was an in-class essay. That was an even bigger surprise, since I wrote it in 15 minutes. hee hee! There was no way I was going to write it all out twice, like everyone else was doing. On a SATURDAY?? Come on, how much can one girl take! I wrote like a madwoman and SPLIT!
Anyway, enough of this “tooting my own horn.” I’m off to enjoy my week of vacation before I go back to school!
A girl
Eve-- I’m sorry that AMC is taking such a long time. Would it help if we all phoned in to AMC or wrote to them saying, “Hey, you guys should have a show featuring Eve Golden as the host! She seems so charming and witty!” ?
John-- Good luck in popping the question. I know she’ll say “yes.” She’s a fool if she doesn’t. And I understand about the “showing off.” I am dying for my reunion to come up so I can show off Mr. Jeannie.
Oh…and you mean you’re not Elvis?
Kricket-- I’m so glad that your son is okay!
Not that anybody asked or cares, but I just wrote a lengthy Summer 2000 Movie Preview and posted it up on my site (address in sig). Read about all the movies coming in the next couple of months, and whether or not they’re likely to be any good.
Oh, and by the way, a random update on another topic: My front lawn has now been mowed, for the first time in a couple of weeks. What’s more, my wife did it, for the first time ever. Not that she’s incapable or lazy; she just lets me do it, because apparently I insist, or something. (See Lexicon’s Rule 2.) But I’ve been working such long hours, and she found herself with a free afternoon, so she took care of it.
I now return you to your explicitly solicited update thread…
Things have been crazy lately.
I have been working in a different area for the past couple of months and I have not been to the boards in a while.
Kimberly for those of you who do not know or remember is my second daughter and she was born 14 weeks premature. She weighed 1.5 lbs. She has been in the hospital for 9 weeks has is now 3 lbs and is in an open crib (instead of the incubator). She is on oxygen, but she is using the least invasive oxygen there is (i.e. not a tube in her throat or long tubes down her nose). She is talking mommy’s milk from a bottle one or two feedings a day.
Hopefully she will be coming home in the next couple of weeks. My wife and I will be so glad to have her home finally.
Thanks to everyone for their kind wishes, thoughts, and prayers.
Jeffery
This is great! Thanks for all the updates, everyone!
dragonlady, I LOVE that name! You didn’t tell the AKC what the YLF stood for, did you? hehehehehe
DRY, a yenta is as I described it above; a meddlesome gossip - neither of which I believe I am. But everyone’s entitled to their opinion.
As for nickel vs nickle, just an embarrassing spello/typo (whichever one makes me look less foolish :D)
Anti Pro, ::blushing:: thank you, Anti. I’m glad you’re enjoying these threads. I hope melanie sees your question - I’d love to know the outcome on that, too. I think I may have missed that thread initially.
Lexicon, as I read through your reply I kept busting up laughing, and then feeling really guilty for finding such humor in your plight. When I got to the part that said it was really just a minor spat and you’d worked it all out, I felt better for having laughed at you.
Congratulations on your move, your new postion and all the other wonderful new things in your life. It’s great to know that things are actually working out for people out there in this big, bad world we live in.
UncleBeer, I’m always good for my word. Just ask around.
JohnLarrigan, congratulations on your “show” showing at the talent contest. Have you set up any more appearances now that you’ve got the first one under your belt? Very cool. I used to sing in a band when I was a teenager and I never did get over my stage fright!
Eve, they’d be fools if they didn’t hire you. And I might consider boycotting them if they don’t! We’re still pulling for you.
My smoke-out is going better than I ever thought it would, thanks to your great idea to get “sponsors” every day when I was really struggling with it. My meter now reads:
4 weeks, 1 day, 16 hours, 28 minutes and 46 seconds.
356 cigarettes not smoked, saving $55.22.
Life saved: 1 day, 5 hours, 40 minutes.
Thank you for asking!!
Shirley, you crack me up! Congrats on zipping your pants. I wish I could do the same!
Girlbysea, thanks so much for checking in here and letting us all know that you’ll be sticking around SD. There’d be too many people who’d miss you if you left!
SaxFace, too bad L.A. isn’t en route to Seattle from NY - I’d tell you to make a pitstop here! I hope you have a safe and fun trip. You’ll have to fill us all in on the details when you get there.
QuickSilver, I’m sorry you are irritated by my inquiries here. I don’t know about the whole “customary” thing, as I don’t profess to be Miss Manners. All I have to go by is the knowledge that my intentions were pure and honorable, that I felt it was more reasonably efficient to request multiple updates in one thread rather than ressurect 10 or 15 old ones one at a time, and the following comments I got from those people I requested updates from in my first thread…
Zette said:
Shayna,
I’m super! Thanks for asking!
< snip >
I appreciate your asking!
**beatle said:**
Great thread idea, Shayna.
Casserole tonight.
Hey, y'all, answer up!
Dr.Watson said:
Ye gads! Well you can just bounce me from here to Cheapside if I didn’t think I was the only bugger around here who’s bored enough to wonder these things. The bulk of these threads seem to meet premature obscurity, and now I’m ashamed for having missed the obvious solution – just ask.
Thank you Shayna – It all seems so simple now.
**Grace said:**
Good idea Shayna. I sometimes forget to go back to topics and see if there's an update.
Michi said:
Yes, I did get the raise < snip >. Thanks for asking!
**aha said:**
Shayna what a nice thoughtful thread.
Billdo said:
<snip >
Great thread, though, Shayna. I’m interested in the updates myself.
**Sue Duhnym said:**
Thanks for asking! It is a great idea for a post, and I would really like to see something like it on a regular basis.
purplebear said
WOW! Cool thread, Shayna! I love this idea a lot.
< snip >
I’m just a little jealous that I didn’t think of it myself.
**Democritus said:**
Aaaww man! I can't believe no one paged me about this!( :: smacking Falcon :: ) Thank's Shayna!
< snip >
Again, thanks for asking Shayna.
So, Quicksilver, in light of all of the above, I believe that enough people here enjoy and appreciate doing it this way, that it must be an acceptable alternative when seeking follow-ups on things people have posted here themselves and left us dangling as to the outcome of. I will do my best to remember in the future, if you ever post any personal information that is left unresolved, if I have any interest in knowing the results, I’ll simply post a single reply in whatever topic you start. And if you find this method so offensive or meddlesome, you certainly aren’t obligated to read it. Fair enough? And no offense taken.
TheNerd, I was just in Austin last summer visiting Grace. It’s beautiful there! Congratulations on your move - it all sounds so exciting. Best of luck in your new home. And good luck with the girl, too! Thanks for keeping us posted.
Kricket, you have nothing to apologize for. I didn’t have to click the reply button over there, or even read all their stupidity. My choice, my consequences. I hope you’ll let us know if there is ever anything we can do for you and your family. I know the SD community would come together and do whatever we could - just say the word. Hmmmm, or don’t. Maybe I’ll try to put something together myself.
John C, I didn’t weigh in on your original topic because I was a chickenshit and didn’t attend my 20th this past summer, myself. It turned out that I couldn’t afford to travel anyway, but even if I could have, for many of the same reasons you had, I didn’t want to go. But in spite of that, I would have recommended that you attend yours for all the reasons people gave you. I just felt like a hypocrite giving advice I didn’t take myself. I’m so glad to hear that you’ve decided to go. You’ll have to make sure to tell us all about how it went. And GOOD LUCK with your SO. If she doesn’t say yes, ask me. I’ll marry you, sweetie!
A Girl, Woo Hoo! Way To Go! That’s pretty much how I got all my A’s in college, too - by the skin of my teeth at the last minute. By the time I was done and I looked back on things, I realized how much more I could have accomplished if I’d have actually tried - LOL. But I don’t care. I’m satisfied with the outcome. Congrats on the awesome grade!
Cervaise, I care! I love movie reviews and I will head over to your page ASAP and check it out. This isn’t by invitation only - I specifically asked people who weren’t mentioned to please provide updates of their own if they had any. I wish I were superhuman and could read every topic or remember every little thing, but alas, I’m just a mere mortal. On the other hand, if I were superhuman, I really don’t think that’s the “power” I’d like to have. Teleporting would be kindof cool, don’tcha think? Anyway, thanks for filling us in!
Jeffery, bless that sweet little baby of yours. How wonderful that she’s doing so well and will be coming home shortly. I’m sure this must have been (and still probably is) a very trying time for you and your family. I was a preemie, too, and also started life in an incubator. I will say a prayer that Kimberly is in her own crib at home, happy and healthy as soon as possible. Thank you so much for taking the time to let us know how she, and you, are doing. Take Care!
Well I guess my eyesight ain’t gettin any better
JC I hope she says yes!! And get your ass to that reunion!
JC, I will expect an update on whether she says yes, all right? And as one of those people you blew off your friends to be with, we appreciate it.
As for my update: lost another 10 pounds since last thread, so I’m at 30 total, about 80 to go. I can start to tell a little difference in my clothes, and my legs don’t swell in the heat as much. Hopefully I can stick with this the
WHOLE WAY THROUGH for once…
Still don’t have a new job. Still looking like a madwoman. Sent out about…15 resumes over the weekend, including 6 to our direct competitors. If anyone here has a job opening for an analyst, email me…at this point, I’m willing to relocate to get away from the hell that is my job.
And in ASKING for updates: Yo Omni! Did you hear about YOUR job offer yet?
Here is something for a future update. If I disappear from the board without explanation, you can assume the worse.
Ever since my daughter began walking, she just takes off 100 miles per hour without looking where she is going. Honest to God, I was afraid social service was going to show up on my door one day and demand an explanation for the bumps on her forehead and black eyes. I don’t think they would have bought “She was running down the hallway looking over her shoulder and just as she turned around BAM! right into the bathroom doorknob” or “Really officer, she was hauling ass down the cement stairs and wiped out at the bottom.” "I know you were just here yesterday, but. . . ".
It is true. The girl is very outgoing and cheerful and tries to fit a full life into each and every day even if it takes full throttle.
This was something I could handle until now. Now with the dreaded learner’s permit.
Oh Dear Lord help me!
Having gone through teaching one kid to drive, I thought I would be an old pro. Not so. I need an appointment to get on Valium, otherwise she isn’t getting her license.
I should have known the first time she got behind the wheel and asked which was the brake and which was the gas. By the time I got home I had whiplash and we never left the freaking parking lot!
I keep thinking that she will get better, but yesterday I had to actually grab the wheel - TWICE - and this was on country roads!
A tractor started to pull out of a field ahead of us, I tell her “Watch this guy, he is gonna come out.” She doesn’t show any sign of slowing. . . . “You really need to slow down, he is gonna come out atcha.” I finally yell (up until now, I am using my very hard to pull off fake calm voice) “SLOW DOWN!” This freaks her out, she hits the GAS, swerves to the side towards the ditch (this was the about the time I had to grab the wheel), and finally brakes. I don’t know how we missed it, but we did.
It took me 15 minutes to pry my fingers from the door handle and pick the upholstry from my ass.
Later that night, I had to again grab the wheel otherwise we would have taken out a grocery card in the store parking lot.
I don’t know if we’ll ever survive. Hopefully, 6 months from now I will be reporting at how well she drives, but don’t hold your breath.