URGENT! Elementary school-style pizza question.

Specifically, how can I get a slice or ten without having to go to an elementary school? Not to flood the board with lots of “does anyone know…” type questions, but I have had this long-term craving for the stuff and finally decided to do something about it.

I’m sure you guys know what I’m talking about. The slices were rather long rectangles with very thin crust (you could roll it up like a straw with no problem) and the cheese (somewhat waxy) and toppings (small pepperoni cubes or loose sausage) could be pulled off in one giant sheet. The whole thing was pretty bland, but in a delicious sort of way. I remember them from cafeteria lunches, first through 8th grade.

Does anyone have any idea? A website? Anyone come from a long line of cafeteria chefs who could give me the secret recipe?

This craving is driving me mad. Any tips would be greatly, greatly appreciated…

Please help if you can!

Those things are disgusting. You can find them being stuffed into the mouth of any death by castration murderer at your local Hell.

My elementary school didn’t serve pizza like that (their specialty was a very bland hamburger pizza that I don’t miss a bit–I don’t think there was a single spice in that kitchen beyond salt.)

However, I just found (this week) pizza that is quite similar to the little individual pizzas my high school cafeteria served as an alternative to the main entree. They come, frozen, in bags of six, and are called “Tombstone Deep Dish Individually Wrapped Pizzas”. They have the cubed pepperoni you describe, and you could probably pull off the toppings in one sheet, but the crust is thicker. The only thing that seems to be different is that they aren’t quite as greasy–some of us would have to blot the H.S. version with a thick “pad” of napkins before eating them.

You might want to try various cheap brands of frozen pizza until you hit upon the correct one, since that’s what it sounds like your school used.

I have always thought that Elio’s was kinda like school pizza. It comes in long rectangles, and you break those longer ones into 3 smaller rectangles. Not exactly what you mentioned, but close.

My daughters would be delighted to save theirs and send it to you. I doubt the quality would be much affected.

Do you have a Bigg’s near you?
In their frozen pizza aisle, they have this “Bag-O-Pizza” (Rosa’s, or something). School-ish looking pizza-shingles, they come all stacked up in a plastic bag. You can probably get them at any warehouse-style grocery store. (Bigg’s, Cub Foods, Aldi’s…)
Also, try a warehouse-style buying club, if you know someone with a membership. (Sam’s Club, Costco…)

You can find “mini-pizzas” at most regular grocery stores. Little-bitty (4-5") pizzas. Bland and cardboardy. Like all good school food.

The best “cheap frozen pizza” I have ever eaten was Mega Pizza. I haven’t seen it in a while, and don’t know if the company is still producing it, but it was great. It kind of tasted like cardboard, but in a good way. I know it’s not exactly what you’re looking for, but if you can get your hands on some, I highly recommend it.