USA can bite my Scottish ass (Spoiler?)

Just saw what USA calls the end of Braveheart. Cut to credits after the first volley of archers from the fargin’ Brits (no offense to present day English)? Not bare assed mooning? No death on the rack whilst proclaiming the Scot Freedom? Who the fuck whitewashed THIS movie? They left TONS on the cutting room floor, the meat of the movie, the guts of the heroism, the ass of a thousand Highlanders (an one Mick). I express my outrage at those bungholes who PC’ed that great movie to Disney-like bullshit.

That is my opinion, anyway, anyone else feel cheated by this travesty of television? I am a Douglas. Fear my wrath.

Methinks they’re showing it in two parts. Part 2 is tomorrow (Wed. 5-30) at 9pm ET/8pm Central.

Sit your Scottish ass down.
Put your Scottish whiskey down.
Pick up your TV guide.
Stare at tomorows listings until words become intelligible.
Laugh, retrieve whiskey, drink to posts which cannot be retrieved.

Relax, play 18 holes and cleave the Sassenach tonight.

I don’t get the newspaper, and don’t read TV Guide, and it woulda been nice of those bastages to say “stay tuned for scenes from tomorrow’s conclusion”, or “to be continued”.

Even though I’m wrong, I remain indignant.


Mebbe need to get meself back home from me pub tonight in time for the next chapter.

Don’t tell me you didn’t know how it ends…and you call yourself a Scot. :smiley:

<Ducks and runs>

Shouldn’t it be "bite my Scottish arse?

AHA HAHAHAHA…stupid Scots bastid!

WEEE invented the kilt, ye know? Stupid sheep fuggers!


Ahh, ye Irish lassie, perhaps the Gaelic interferes with yer English! I said “Scottish”, I am not a Scot, I am Irish, yet not an “Irishman”. I am from Douglas (Scotland), Deegan (Ireland), Murray (Ireland), and Donnelly (Ireland). I meself am American, Hawaiian, if you want to be specific. I am 25% Scot, 75% Irish. I’d kick yer arse (if you were a man) and have a pint at the same time! I am a Douglas, a Murray, a Deegan, and a Donnelly.

[sub]and what’s wrong with buggerin’ sheep, I’ll ask ya?[/sub]

[sub]and what’s wrong with buggerin’ sheep, I’ll ask ya?[/sub] **

So many jokes…So little time.

Surely you’re 100% American, if that’s where you were born? I mean, I could claim to be 50% Scottish, 25% Irish and 25% English if I wanted to, but since I was born in England it’s a bit far-fetched.

I dunno Mattk, Its worked for our footballers for years :wink:

Ah…the Andy Townsend Defence…fair play, Twist!

I wouldn’t know. I don’t have your extensive sexual experience.

I’m told, however, that they don’t run away as fast if you stick their hind legs in your boots.

I wouldn’t know. I don’t have your extensive sexual experience.

I’m told, however, that they don’t run away as fast if you stick their hind legs in your boots.

dlb, hard to believe information like that (boots) can be learned any way but first hand!

UncleBill to Sheep Du Jour:
You’ve bred with dlb, now breed with me!

whose first language was Russian - Russians roll their "r"s as well as Scotts, but they don’t know nearly as much about sheep.

Typical Scot.


I don’t recall ever breeding with dlb, or with any male, but if I did, I hope I was good!

And as for sili if you be a lassie from the Mother Russia, or for that matter a lassie from ANYWHERE, I’d love to roll my R’s against your R’s (or your arse!)

And now for some Scottish pedantry: it is whisky dammit!!

Interestingly enough, I read a newspaper article yesterday about the British elections which mentioned that there would be a number of “Irish and British-born Irish” voting in them. That’s the first time I’ve seen that usage over here that involved white people (it’s quite common, of course, to hear “Pakistanis” referred to as such even if they were born in Britain).

Hey Twisty, when I get my passport, do I get to call myself “Irish”? :wink: