A .50 Sniper Rifle (not to kill things-- just for super long range target practice).
A Ford F-150 Pick-up Truck.
A new Camelback Blowfish.
A set of third generation Night vision goggles.
A digital camcorder- the smaller and fancier the better.
And a green laser pointer.
I need NONE of these things- but desire them nevertheless.
-me
A .50 Sniper Rifle (not to kill things-- just for super long range target practice).
A Ford F-150 Pick-up Truck.
A new Camelback Blowfish.
A set of third generation Night vision goggles.
A digital camcorder- the smaller and fancier the better.
And a green laser pointer.
I need NONE of these things- but desire them nevertheless.
-me
**scr4 ** you wacky little abbreviation, you! You’re a
Frankenstein fan, ain’tcha? 
The device you mention is called a Jacob’s Ladder.
holy shit. i just spent the last two days at work online reading about green laser pointers. i think my life would be complete if i had a green laser pointer. i have no idea what i’d do with it except annoy my friends. seriously though, i think you could sell me anything as long as it was a) sufficiently shiny and/or b) fluorescent green.
maybe all us green laser junkies should start a club and see if we can get some of these puppies in bulk for a discount. i think we need a green laser thread.
modified lasers!!
http://greenlaser.crosswinds.net/index.htm
A self cooking kitchen.
A tractor with a shovel and a rototiller. I do need one of these things. Really. I hate asking my friend to come over twice a year to dig up my garden so I can plant. If i did have one my entire yard (2.5 acres) would be a corn field and pumpkin patch.
Oh, and I’d dig a big swimmin’ hole too.
Always wanted a bazooka.
Also:
-A flyable P-51 Mustang, an X-15, and a corporate-lurury appointed 747. Oh yeah, a jet pack, even with a 40 second fuel supply (makes it especially useless).
-Flying lessons for all of the above (I don’t need them unless I get the useless planes above, then I DO need them. How does that work?)
A Seawolf class attack sub.
I want a 7.62mm(?) minigun with the big ammo hopper mounted on my balcony overlooking the parking lot.
And a Patriot missile battery if those black helicopter guys come snooping around.
I want several of the world’s largest things - so large they are pointless. The world’s largest minicam, for example. Or the world’s largest bag of trail mix.
A green laser pointer with a KILL setting, even if it doesn’t work. It would freak people. I’d settle for enough power to char paper.
I want a nuclear bomb so big that to use it would destroy the planet. I will rig it to go off upon unauthorized entry into my Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream freezer, which I also want but ISN’T useless.
I guess I’m feeling “defensive” today.
I want to get all of my teeth capped, finally take care of all of those stains and fillings.
But more importantly, I want to get the canines slightly more pronounced. Not some freakish vampire like deal, I don’t want fangs. I just want them to be a bit longer and sharper than normal.
That’s a Jacob’s Ladder, scr4.
I want…
5 lbs of silly putty. [really! you can get it in 5 lb quantites on the website! who’d’ve thought?]
a full size fiber optic christmas tree.
an inflatible lawn gnome.
and a green laser pointer.
Most of these things aren’t “useless” per se, but the cheaper models are just as practical and more likely to show up in my life.
A kitchen full of All-Clad
A Zojirushi neuro fuzzy rice cooker
A KitchenAid stand mixer
A radar detector
About a million and one different DVDs
One of these lighters
A paid LiveJournal account
A manicure, pedicure, massage and eyebrow waxing once a week for forever
All of the expansion packs for The Sims
An Aston Martin DB7 Vantage Volante
A PDA
A green laser pointer
(and a partridge in a pear tree)
I want a car.
I have no earthly need for one. I live in Manhattan. I can’t afford the insurance. Parking is only a little cheaper than private school tuition. But I keep fantasizing.
Maybe a PT Cruiser (turbocharged coming this summer!).
Maybe a BMW 5-series wagon (I like station wagons, dammit!)
Maybe an MG Cooper.
Maybe one of these. (cadillac xlr)
Or, in an absolutely perfect world, one of these. (1967 lincoln continental 4-door convertible)
What the hell. I’d really like one of these. (1962 studebaker avanti)
And for dessert, one of these (1973 citroen ds 23 pallas, imho the most beautiful car made)
Oh dear. I’d best stop.
Lemon Scented Slinky
Coin Encrusted Toilet Seat
Naked Woman Salt/Pepper Shakers
Quilted Underwear
Glass Silverwear
Zircon Encrusted Tweezers
Blue Stainless Streel Sporks
Green Laser Pointer
Breast Shaped Bookends
A Table Made From Melted Down Condoms
A Wide Variety of Egg Slicers From Around The World
and many more useless things.
I want packs of those collectable trading cards for those ongoing games like Legend of the Five Rings and the Monty Python and the Holy Grail game. Useless crap, because of the ridiculous prices and because I don’t know how to play, have no one to play with, and probably don’t have the patience to learn. Just want 'em.
I also want a sceptre I saw in the Dancing Dragon catalog.
A machine that goes ‘piiiing’.
A good .22 rifle; no recoil, cheap ammo, and you can plink away at cans all day without going deaf(er).
A 1974 Triumph TR6. RED.
A job that doesn’t require me to work nights.
My dog to live forever.
A basketball hoop in my backyard (working on that one).
A girlfriend. Preferably of the non-lying, non-backstabbing, non-psychotic variety, if there are any of those still around. And if she’s easy on the eyes, that would be a plus.
Hmm, right about now I could go for barbecue nachos too…
Here’s a depressing realization: Aside from the car, all my dreams are really low-rent…
Me too! I don’t think we can share though…darn.
But what I really want is a Superman t-shirt.
NO SHIT! :eek:
A high quality stereo receiver.
a 4head stereo VCR.
A PDA thingy.
A really nice graphics card. Maybe a hercules Prophet.
A 21" LCD monitor.
A down comforter and some other stuff on my registry.
The ability to start fire with my mind.
A green laser pointer, in the shape of a dinosaur.
Damn, now I want a green laser pointer too! But a car would be nice…and maybe a swimming pool of watermelon jello. Yummmm.
Jacob’s Ladder! That’s it, thanks guys. Now I can search the web for one. I’m not a Frankenstein fan per se, just a fan of mad scientists in general.
I also want a real steam traction engine. You know, one of these.