You know, I’ve never before felt the need for a green laser pointer, but now …
From kryptonite2’s link, a pointer that has a range of 14,000 feet! Who wouldn’t want a laser that can shine almost three miles?!?
I also want an absurdly expensive kung fu broadsword. While I do in fact know how to use one, I can’t imagine that I’ll be going to war with the Mongol Hordes any time soon. I think that qualifies as useless.
I have a cell phone. I have a Palm. I have an MP3 player.
What I want is a combination of all three. They have Palm-phones and Palm-MP3 players and cell phone-MP3 players, but no one’s made the leap to all three yet. I give it a year.
Also, I want a wooden ring. I don’t know why, but I’ve wanted one for years.
Scarlett67
Love the refferance (SP?) to “The Jerk” (Steve Martin)
I want:
a bigger house (with live a live in maid, please;) )
my hubby home for a few days (he is a truckdriver)
All Star Trek movies and shows (all of the spin offs too) on DVD
and…every color of laser pointer (they are so cool!)
Well now that Christmas is coming I thought that I would bump this up and add:
A tablet PC. It seems to sombine the best of a pocket PC with the best of a desktop.
A second green laser pointer.
I don’t just want a green laser pointer. I want a green ** laser level** pointer. It doesn’t even have to be green. You stick it on the wall and it points these perfectly level beams in all sorts of directions. Well, mostly horizontal and vertical, I suppose. But level, perfectly, level. How great would that be for doing wallpaper, shelving, hanging pictures, wallpaper borders, hanging other stuff, like shelves and pictures and wallpaper and stuff? The possibilities are endless. I need one.
I want a r a i n b o w clour laser pointer. How cool would that be?
And a can of spotted polka dot paint
I want a KitchenAid mixer. I don’t need one, and it would take up too much room, but it would go nicely with my new (as yet unused) Cuisinart.
A kitten. No, they really are useless, they just make you feel good. Warm and fuzzy…
Interdimensional storage space for books and clothes, preferable with auto-iron and auto-dust.
Someone else to pack for me when I move out. I guess that’s useful. Drat.
oh, well.
I want programme’s from the 1972 British show “Hulla Baloo” and the Russian show “Rock and Roll At Dawn.” Two of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s most obscure.
I once saw a CD called “Julian Lloyd Webber plays Benjamin Britten Folk Songs,” but didn’t have the money to buy it. When I went back to the store, it was gone and I’ve never seen another copy. I wish now I had used my bank card. DAMN!
Green laser pointers??? You’ll shoot your eye out!!! 
I want a TiVo or a Replay TV or something like that.
I want a copy of Pikmen.
I want this really cool yarn I saw in the Herrschners catalog that makes its own stripes when you knit socks with it.
(What I really want is for my damn thesis to be done, and strangely, none of these things would advance that goal.)
I’m still pretty fascinated by my red laser pointer, though, so . . .
I, too, want 5 pounds of Silly Putty, the color-changing kind.
A green laser pointer.
An orange espresso machine.
A pink walk-in closet.
A brown leather jacket.
A black horse.
A short skirt and a long jacket.
I would like to add the boxed set of “Neon Genesis Evangelion”.
As for what I want, hell. A pizza’d do me right about now. And a set of lockpicks. I second having the ability to start fire with my mind. And a neon Molson Canadian beer sign. A hideously expensive entertainment centre. A urinal in my home. A fully stocked forge/smithy. And some other stuff that I can’t remember right now.
But I really don’t want a green laser pointer. I’d point it at things for a few minutes, sure, but then I’d get bored and play with fire or something.
I want Aragorn’s reforged Anduril, and Sting, so it will shine blue when my sister is coming. Then I can slay her. She is an orc.
Dear Santa,
I have been a very good girl this year. Which you probably know, since you’ve been keeping such a close eye on me, and know when I’m sleeping, and when I’m awake, and so on. In light of my extraordinary goodness, I would like to request the following toys for my stocking:
A new job. A fun one, please, not like the stupid, crappy one the Easter Bunny gave me.
A new car. Nothing against the old one, except… well, it’s getting quite old now, and I’m a little concerned that it’s going to fall to pieces. You understand, Santa - you wouldn’t want an old sleigh, right?
A big bunch of money. Enough that I could pay off my student loans, and not have to worry about bill collectors coming to take away all my earthly posessions, and then have lots left over.
a vacation.
Thank you in advance for your generosity!
Love, Kn*ckers
P.S.: I know these were supposed to be useless things, but I couldn’t think of any of those, and I wanted to play, too. Please forgive me.
I want that twin-bowled aquarium that looks like women’s boobs, a la Animal House.
I also want that leg lamp from A Christmas Story.
Oh, and a Humvee.
Tripler
Oh, and an arc welder, but I can actually use that.
I have seen that leg lamp for sale. I don’t know where you could find it now though.
I would try Ebay.
The holiday season always reminds me of the the greatest family fun game of all time. . I must have it…and a green laser pointer to distract the MIL
Oooooh!! I didn’t even want a green laser pointer until I read that!!
I must have one.
A better memory and a …a…a…