Vaguely Ominous Corporate Slogans

An old college mate of mine said at the time he was expecting one of the blurbs to go: “the continent of Australia” … “We’re Beatrice”

in 2016, even that movie is old and crusty. So, good call on the bread company! :smiley:

Radio station KOME, in San Francisco: “Don’t touch that dial, there’s KOME on it!”

When I lived in Illinois, there was a chain of grocery stores that had prominent signs on them: “Osco Liquor and Drugs”

I always knew there was a reason I liked shopping there.

And it’s red white and blue! Not at all American ethnocentrism!

“Billions and Billions Served”

as in billions of billions of people served billions of unhealthy meals.

The logo image doesn’t help at all, either.

When I was a wee tyke, that logo actually frightened me. I would peer intently at the globe, hoping against hope that our part of southern California was not inundated by the paint deluge.

Cheez Whiz containers are bilingual in Canada, of course. They used to put a slogan around the edge of the lid, in both languages.

A few years ago, the English-language slogan wasn’t easy to tranlate into French. So instead they opted for “Vous en mourrez d’envie”.

At first glance it just means something “You’re dying to try it”, which is already a weird statement for a food product.

But when you look closer, there are two "r"s in the verb, so the tense is future; so they’re saying “You will die because you want to try it”.

I wrote to them, they never wrote back, but eventually they changed the slogan.

In my area there’s a non-profit organization called JASA, that delivers Meals On Wheels to sick and elderly shut-ins. I always scratch my head when I see one of their many trucks pass by with their logo:
“Staying alive for as long as we live”

Strikes me as nonsensical, and yet threatening!

Several years ago Ocean Spray had a slogan that was intended to intensify the naturalness of their cranberry products, to wit: “Straight From The Bog.” Simple and innocent? Well, yes, unless you are familiar with the British definition of “bog,” which is, a thoroughly disgusting and slovenly bathroom, usually a public loo. I emailed them and got this response: “Our customer base is primarily USA, so we’re not going to worry about it. Thank you for your interest, blah, blab, blah.”

Well, exCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE me!!! :dubious:

I’ve got a logo that I paint on all the ranch and farm equipment, feeders and tools. It looks nice in bright, sunny yellow.

But I put it on the camo Jeep in flat black. Looks vaguely sinister.

In the late 1980’s, a bank in the DC area ran radio ads that ended with a stark, cheerless male voiceover:

Signet Bank. Remember that name. One day, we’ll be your bank.

There were a couple ways you could interpret that. One was that they were going to win us over by being a really good bank. Another was that they were going to eliminate competition so there’d *be *no other banks. Worst of all was the impression that they were going to take over banks until they were the only bank around: bragging about becoming ‘too big to fail’. Great PR fellas!

I remember a cartoon (Far Side?) that showed a guy at a breakfast table at which all the food products were murmuring, “We’re Beatrice”. The caption read, “The day they finally take over”.

Here’s one that’s probably more fun than actually threatening.

When I lived in Honolulu in the 1980’s, all the municipal garbage collection trucks were painted in the same colors and pattern as the municipal buses. Furthermore, the garbage trucks all had the slogan “Satisfaction guaranteed or double your garbage back”.

I have no idea if any of the above is still true today. Anybody know?

I always thought the CBS network’s “eye” logo was kind of Sauron-esque.

Mad did a great sendup of that logo: the CBS logo was changed to CB$, and the eyeball was moved to be closest to the dollar sign.

There’s a company around here which apparently does something for construction sites, I don’t know what. But at many construction sites there is a sign which says “BURY”. That’s all. I also saw one of their trucks which also says “BURY”, and nothing else. Creepy?

I stayed in a hotel one time where the envelope with the key cards had the tagline, “The lock on the door is not there to keep you in.”

I know they were trying to encourage me to get out and explore, but instead it freaked me out a bit. “Okay, what is it there for? Who the hell is out there?”

If the truck was a cement mixer, yes.

“We Answer To A Higher Authority!”

That was Hebrew National hotdogs.