Damn, Stranger, if you could talk as well as you write, you’d have plenty to keep you company this year. If you can get your words out (besides here), you stand a chance of finding wit, intelligence and a deep soul wrapped up in a gorgeous package.
Vlad/Igor
Double damn. As Vlad said, you write VERY well. But first off, that sounds like THE suckiest Valentine’s day ever. I don’t think many of us can top getting yelled at by a stripper.
Poor thing.
So I was having a nose job a few years ago, and the scheduler was trying to find a date for the surgery. Being a recent dumpee, I, of course, opted for Feb. 14. Got knocked out at 8:00 a.m. and wasn’t ‘with it’ again until the next day.
Best. Valentine’s. Day. Ever.* 
*Until I met Mr. Cookie
Stranger, if you don’t have someone for Valentine’s, I’ll go with you…
Perhaps I should just use one of those keyboard translators like Steven Hawking has.
“Hel-lo, booy-tee-full wo-man! Can iiiii by yo-oo a drin-kk?”
Yeah, that’ll go over well. :dubious: 
Oh, I don’t know. At least I got some attention. And I didn’t have to screw up by responding. All things considered, it was better than a red-hot poker in the naval, but not as pleasant as having my eyebrows plucked out with bulldog pliers.
It’s a date. Now what’s your address? 1042 South…Toronto? As in Canada? 4000 kilometers away?
Hmmm…OKAY!
Stranger
4,000 kilometres away? Nuts. goes off to mope 
Good lord. I hope you gave him a nice big dust ball, all wrapped up in pink and red
with ribbons. That’s the worst thing I’ve heard all day!
May I also suggest Valentine for your viewing pleasure.
Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. Every other commercial shows happy shining couples smiling, and suggesting ways of displaying their love. Not only that, but news shows are having little touchy-feely segments about Valentine’s Day. And then there are the boner pills commercials…
Hello! Single guy here! Fiancée changed her mind over here! How do you think those fucking commercials make me feel? Bastards!
Women are always telling me ‘You’d make a great boyfriend/husband/father.’ Yes. Yes, I would. But apparently, I’m ‘sweet’. You know what ‘sweet’ means? It means ‘Loser’. And I’m sick to death of those bloody commercials reminding me every few minutes.
Oh, yeah – The news have been reporting that there’s something called ‘broken heart syndrome’. Lovely. Not only do men not live as long as women, and not only do single men tend to die younger than married men, now there’s this. Just what I need to hear. :rolleyes:
Look, um, I’m half of a couple and I hate Valentine’s Day too.
Or not.
You see, I don’t celebrate it in the normal way. I mena, damn, I remember what it’s like to be lonely.
So I spend the time making & sending Valentine’s Day cards and sending them to all my single friends. This year I partook in the SDMB VD exchange.
Here is my sympathy to all you guys: I hate PDA’s as much as you do, I hate the sappy sentimental shit of an invented holiday. I take Valentine’s day to be “love everybody”.
So I love all of you guys!
I’m still laughing about the dust pan. I’ve already checked the thesaurus. There just isn’t a term to convey sufficiently the level of cluelessness that would result in a man buying a woman a dustpan for Valentine’s Day. I guess it’s too late now to get back at him, but if not, may I recommend a hammer handle? Just the handle.
You should not have done this. Now I will be in Blockbuster looking for this movie, when I should be buying gifts.
(bolding, mine) Whoa, I guess you do!
Depending on the gift recipient, I think “massive death wish” covers it nicely :eek:
slaps SteveG1
Except you! :mad: 
Time once again for the true meaning of Valentine’s Day. Which sounds a lot more fun than overpriced roses and icky chalk candy hearts.
Oh, and I hate Valentine’s Day, too. Talk about a holiday for no good reason.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t affect me that much (lifetime single Wolf, here). I get the blues bad at Chrisrmas and Easter, but Valentines Day is just too much of a commercialised nonsense to bug me. It is cool that they’ve bent the rules to allow folks to send friends a card or best wishes (this is a loophole for us lifetime single Wolves that I gladly accept). But seriously – if you love someone, you tell 'em at the time. 365 days of the year. Not just one day, manufactured by the flowers-cards-chokkies international consortium.
I’m married and not really into Valentine’s Day.
It’s okay and all. But I’d rather Mr. Carmichael do something real sweet for me because he wants to and because he loves me, rather than he “has” to because it’s February 14th and if he doesn’t he won’t get laid that night. (And let’s not kid ourselves, getting laid is pretty much the goal of all the gift giving. The women want the stuff, the guys want the sex, which they’re rewarded with if they produce the goods.)
I like the idea of doing stuff for single friends, I may very well end up doing that. That’s a freakin great idea. I remember in high school how much it sucked to see all the pretty girls get 2 or 3 dozen roses (each dozen from a different guy). About an hour before school ended the secretary would come over the PA and announce this big long list of people who had stuff waiting for them in the cafeteria. It soooooooo sucked.
Yeah, I’ve been there. I was not pretty in high school, having no idea how to deal with mounds of curly hair and being rather pimply. So yeah, I remember sitting there and watching everyone else get stuff. That sinking feeling…
My single friends have told me how much they appreciate getting *something * in their mailbox on Valentine’s Day, even if it’s not from a lover. At least they have a Valentine to hang up.