Very heavy 30 something guy at work looks dangerously unhealthy. Say something or MYOB?

In general, when there’s something helpful but socially awkward to say, SAY IT.

Example:
When I worked in a large corporation in a warm country, the person whose opinion I valued most was the one who felt least constrained by social politeness. She’s the one who’d tell me honestly if my work was shabby or if my personal hygiene needed…errr… “tweaking”.

Another example:
Until my childhood dentist said “you’ve got more cavities than the rest of my patients”, a seemingly rude comparison, I never realized that I had more cavities than normal. Until then I’d assumed that the treatments and coaching I was getting was something that every kid heard, regardless of how well they brushed & flossed.

Honesty improves objectivity. Objectivity gives people the facts and impetus they need to do necessary things.

It’s even possible that you’ll hear a reply from “fat guy” that increases YOUR objectivity. For example, he may say that he can’t exercise / has a glandular condition or heart condition / etc. that prevent him from bringing his weight within normal range.

If he was fat and healthy complexioned, you wouldn’t be thinking about saying anything.

If he was slim and ashen faced, you would be thinking about saying something.

Therefore, the thing to address is the ashen face, not the weight. Yes, the weight may be a factor in him developing a condition that causes his face to be ashen, but the ashen face is the key symptom here.

Day One: “Gosh, you look pale today, are you feeling okay?”

Day Two: “Gosh, you look pale again today, are you feeling okay?”

Day Three: “Gosh, you’re still looking quite pale. I’m sure it’s nothing, but you might want to get a check-up, my <relative> was diagnosed with some heart problems and the first sign was that he was really pale.”

Maybe he looks that way because he’s turned into a zombie. astro, any update?

Continuing this morning’s zombie patrol.

twickster, moderator