I just got out of an all-hands meeting here at work. We got audited last November by some consulting company. Here is their answer:
We need to complete business process rationalization and organizational alignment to properly position our business lines and prepare the company for future opportunities.
That was the first slide. I stared at it for a minute, and the translation popped into my head:
We need to get our shit together.
:rolleyes:
It’s going to be a rough 42 weeks.
Hopefully you’re all on the same page there.
<siren noise>Oooooeeeeeeeooooop!</noise>
OK, buddy, let’s see your artistic license. I clocked you at 40 Mips in a 25 Mips zone. And you didn’t signal your paradigm shift at that last corner.
Did he put a cover sheet on the TDS report?
Sounds like your synergy isn’t interacting with your management vision. Let’s dialogue this sometime. My people, your people.
I’d send this message to the guy who does Dilbert.
Just for fun I ran the original statement through a translator and then translated the output back to English. Even though the wording is altered in each translation, it doesn’t seem that the original statement makes any more sense than what the re-translations show. Here is what the translator returned using three different languages:
Spanish:
We needed to finish to the rationalization of process of the business and the alignment of organization to correctly place our lines of business and to prepare to the company for the future opportunities.
French:
We must finish the rationalization of process of businesses and the framing of organization to place our branches of activity correctly and to prepare the company for future occasions.
German:
We must execute business process rationalization and organizational adjustment, in order to bring our lines of business correctly in position and to prepare the company for future opportunities.
In other words, it’s all a bunch of gibberish any way you look at it.
Y’all just need to think outside the box.