Your female parent is so cognitively impaired, she took great effort to circumnavigate a glass wall for a better view, even though glass is transparent.
I invite you to remove yourself to another locale and to immediately engage in sexual intercourse with yourself, even though this is anatomically impossible for your species.
Although you are a bipedal hominid, you might aptly be described as the metaphorical offspring of a canine female.
I would decline to perform the act of micturition upon your buttocks even in the case that your hemorrhoids are currently undergoing combustion.
If given the choice, I’d rather engage in sexual activities with a Horta, instead of you.
You regularly dine upon the mucus removed from nasal passages.
Rather than make use of your nasal openings for respiration, you use your oral orifice for the purpose.
I believe the remnants of a decaying truncated Quercus alba have more intelligence than you.
You are so unappealing that your temporary lover gnawed off their limb so they could escape from you without rousing you from sleep.
You are so unaesthetically appealing, that prostitutes pay you to leave them alone.
Your vocalizations are so unappealing as to make me wish to hear small creatures being lacerated to death by rotating blades in their place. Allow me to give you monetary compensation to cease immediately.
I remember inquiring if you enjoyed consuming two or more slices of a staple food made from flour or meal mixed with other dry and liquid ingredients, usually combined with a leavening agent, and kneaded, shaped into loaves, and baked with a filling such excrement placed between them, and you opined that you did not enjoy bread.
I observe that you are ignorant of the distinction between your gluteus maximus and your ginglymus.
You appear to be one minor term short of a syllogism.
In addition to your maternal parent dressing you in a less than serious way, You’re most unpleasing to observe.
Sheldon!
I invite you to osculate that part of my buttocks which is largest in area.
The Terran language “English” is a highly illogical language which contains an inordinate number of possible configurations that result in imprecise communication, also known quaintly as “homonyms”. Given the frequency at which even supposedly highly educated members of your species commit errors of this nature, I find it fascinating that your species managed to collaborate successfully and achieve spaceflight, and even more improbably, English speakers were the first amongst you to discover warp drive.
*** Ponder
You display a lower level of intelligent thought than a random sample of carpentry tools enclosed in a fabric container.
oh yeah? well your daddy married a human!
Your lack of even the most rudimentary social skills causes me to inquire if you were, in fact, fostered, as a young child, by a female canis lupus.
Is it your common practice to apply the orifice through which you were just communicating to me to the face of your female parental unit?
If I were to attempt to describe your deficiencies in a manner consistent with Terran “metaphorical” construction, I would observe that the sequence of relatively small rectangular plane surfaces designed to connect two or more larger plane surfaces that comprise a Terran dwelling, fail to extend to that part of your dwelling directly beneath the uppermost, exterior surface of the dwelling.
I would not, however, grasp the literal meaning of the metaphor.
I invite you to place your gluteus maximus upon the object commonly known as “it” and to then initiate numerous consecutive rotations.
This thread is filled to capacity with WIN.
Your disagreement with my assessment indicates that your physical composition is comparable to that of an apparatus consisting of a vessel and flexible hose filled with a mildly acidified H20 solution intended for flushing potentially harmful bacteria from the humanoid female reproductive system.
Doctor, will you please do me the honor of eating my shorts.
Doctor, you have a piece of broccoli stuck between your front teeth.